B”H

The GuardUrEyes Chizuk List      (Started on Sept.5 2007, 22 Elul 5767)

1.

Every time you say "no" to your obsessions, it is priceless. It's another step up, and no step goes to waste. Remember this parable: Even if someone is heading out to the other side of town and on the way he slips on the ice, all he needs to do it just get up and continue. But slipping never takes a person all the way back home. Even if you slip, you are still where you were when you fell. You just need to stand yourself up and continue on from where you left off... JUST DON'T STAY ON THE FLOOR!

2.

Ask yourself: "Who is my G-d? The master of the universe, or flesh, blood, veins and bones?”

3.

The Holy Sefer, Noam Elimelech from Rav Elimelech of Lizensk writes that Yaakov Avinu's attribute was that of Tiferes, meaning "Awesome Beauty". This implies that Yaakov Avinu had the ability to be awestruck by G-dly beauty in all he saw. For example, the Noam Elimelech continues, "When a person eats a tasty food, he should say to himself, "if this food is so good in taste, is it not obvious that all the good and pleasantness is to be found in the Creator--may his name be blessed--without any limit or boundary!"..."and this is the secret of the Pasuk "and Yaakov kissed Rachel".

How uplifting and beautiful it is to try to apply this midah of Yaakov Avinu to ourselves. Whenever we see something that turns our hearts to sexual desire, we need to tell ourselves, "If this woman is so beautiful and I desire her so much, how much more beautiful it must be to connect with G-d, who is the infinite source of all beauty, pleasantness and pleasure!”

4.

The Zohar, Shemot 3b , states: We have learned that the Holy One Blessed Be He has no zealousness, except for His zealousness over the holy Brit, for this Brit is the secret of the Sacred Name and the secret of faith. As is written, 'And the people began to commit harlotry with the daughters of Moav' (Bamidbar, 25:1), then, immediately afterward, 'And the anger of the L-rd was kindled against Israel.'" Sexual immorality brings about a kindling of the anger of G-d.

The Zohar emphasizes that it was through the Brit with Avraham Avinu that Israel made its initial attachment to with the Holy One Blessed Be He, through the act of circumcision and the Covenant to safeguard our lives in sexual purity. Judaism is founded upon this Covenant. This is our connection to the Shechinah. Thus, Rabbi Shimon explains, a Jew who is false to this Brit is false to our Covenant with G-d.

Some people claim, "Hey, that's how G-d made me, so it's his business". If that's the case though, what are we here for in this world? Can we also say that murderers, pedophiles and rapists are that way by nature too and so it's G-d's problem?

We are here in this world to play a game called "LIFE". And the way we get points and proceed to the next level is by fighting the inherent bad inside us. The Pasuk says "Ki Yetzer Lev Ha'adam Ra Mi'ne'urav" (the inclinations of man are bad from his youth).

So others will say that only evil which hurts others needs to be worked on. But think about it, what really is the difference? If we believe that G-d wrote the Torah, and we believe in our sages words, then we also believe that every time we gaze at things we shouldn't and spill our seed etc, we are destroying G-d's world! So then, this too is destructive and we must work on it, even if it is against our nature. G-d created us, so he understands out nature. But he gave us guidelines to curb our natural destructive tendencies, and when we follow these guidelines we are building the world. And when we don't, we are destroying the world.

Always remember to stay happy! The Yetzer Hara's biggest tool is depression and sadness. Working on one's self is not a "sad" and "confining" thing, but rather it should bring us tremendous joy that we have the merit to sacrifice our desires for the creator of the entire universe. If we take the time to think about G-d's greatness for just a few minutes each day, then, like a candle before a torch, we will feel a total bitul (self-annulment) and a true joy in being able to give G-d pleasure, by doing his will...

Someone who merits to give up his desires to G-d, experiences a great joy of freedom, like Chaza"l say " Ain Ben choirin ela mi she'osek batorah" (there is no free man like he who deals in the Torah). The Torah's way brings true freedom to a person. All the people of the world are bound like slaves to their desires. The tzadikim are the freest people on earth.

The Rambam (Maimonides, Mishnah Torah, "Laws of Repentance", 10,3) writes: "What is the proper love that we must have for G-d? It is to love G-d with an exceedingly great and intensely powerful love until the individual is constantly enraptured by it; he must be stricken like a lovesick person, whose mind is at no time free from his passion for a particular woman, with the thought of her filling his heart at all times, whether he be sitting down or rising up, whether he be eating or drinking. Even more intense should the love of G-d be in the hearts of those who love Him, and this love should constantly absorb him, as we are commanded to love the Lord "with all your heart and with all your soul." Solomon expressed this allegorically in the verse, "for I am sick with love." (Song of Songs, 2:5) Indeed, the entire Song of Songs is an allegorical description of this love".

Chaza"l say, "Who is strong? He who subdues his evil inclination". A wise man once said. "Someone who serves G-d only with his heart needs to wage great battles to subdue his evil inclinations, but one who serves G-d also with his mind can subdue his inclinations without even a battle".

The Gemara writes "everyone knows that a woman is a barrel of excrement and that her mouth (allegorically) is full of blood, and yet they all run after her". Indeed, R' Nachman of Breslov once said that there is no greater foolishness than sexual desire, and that anyone with wisdom can overcome it.

The Nefesh HaChaim writes in Chapter One: "A man of Israel must understand, know, and establish in his mind and heart that every detail of his deeds, speech, and thoughts, at every second and time, all rise up according to their root source to influence the most exalted worlds. Therefore, when a man entertains an impure, licentious thought in his heart, G-d forbid, he in effect brings a prostitute into the most exalted, celestial Holy of Holies, giving strength to the forces of impurity and evil in this transcendently holy place, to a greater extent than the impurity caused by Nebuchadnezzar and Titus when they brought a prostitute into the Holy of Holies in the Temple sanctuary on earth."

Pleasure that is tied with truth has a lasting effect and can help make a Mitzvah more whole, like when we enjoy the Shabbos and Yom-Tov meals. But pleasure that is tied to falsehood, like spilling seed, doesn't last. That's why when the pleasure is over there is no feeling of fulfillment. And that's why one doesn't tell those who want the best for him --those who love him-- about it, because he knows that it was just there to damage him, unlike the pleasures connected with truth which are there to make a Mitzva more whole. And that's also why one who does these things, always wants it again and again. Why? He just had it! If it was a truthful pleasure, why isn't it there anymore? The reason is because it is falsehood, and it leaves a feeling of void in its wake which causes him to search again to fill the void with another false pleasure.

R' Nachman of Breslov writes "Because the organ of the Brit is associated with the sefirah of Yesod, which is the foundation of all of the sefirot (Divine illuminations), in atoning for sexual transgressions a person rectifies his entire spiritual blueprint".

The Sfat Emet writes that "Just as there is one special day in the year, Yom Kippur, to purify all of the days that have passed, so too there is one sinew of the body, the sinew of the milah, whose purification purifies all of the rest of the body."

For more on the deep connection between Yom-Kippur and Tikkun Habrit, see http://www.jewishsexuality.com/content/view/72/67/.

All Jews are mandated to fight the particular Avodah Zorah manifested in each particular era. Perhaps if this particular "sexual" addiction is reduced to the generic "status" of Avodah Zorah it will be easier to face and dismiss. The objective of "the other side" is to tempt, demoralize and depress us after having robbed us of self-respect, and thereby separate us from Torah and Hashem. This is true of all types of addiction to activities prohibited by the Torah. Just as we marvel today at generations past having been tempted by Avodah Zorahs for which we presently have no affinity, so can we tackle the present day Avodah Zorahs that afflict us, with the confidence that we too will look back in relief, having overcome them and having no remaining reside of affinity for them. Wishing everyone an easy fast and great success in the New Year in all matters of gashmiut and ruchniut!
 
 Taken from the "Talk-Back" comments at Arutz Sheva. Wendy, Jerusalem (19/09/07)

Look what comes out of not guarding one's eyes! The Gemara (in Sotah 47a) writes that while traveling with Rabbi Yehoshua ben Prachia, Jesus of Nazareth complained that the innkeeper's eyes weren't pretty. Rabbi Yehoshua pushed him away with both hands for his preoccupation with looking at women. Having been kicked out of the group of Torah students, Jesus went on to rebel against the sages and eventually established Christianity. So never say "So what!".

Here are some very important words of Chaza"l to remember: "There is a small organ in a man. When it is well-fed, it is hungry. When it is starved, it is satiated".

Rabbi Mordichai Lechovitcher, one of the great Chassidic masters once said "How bitter is the world when one lies inside it, and how good is the world when one is on top of it".

A Jew who is bound to his desires and cannot break free, feels a darkness in all he does. He can't appreciate the everyday beauty of the world and the harmony in nature. He can't appreciate the beauty of Yiddishkeit, or even of his own family. Everything he experiences has a bitter taste. However, the minute that one is master over his sexual desires, the world is suddenly so different. One can suddenly appreciate the beauty of a Shabbos and bask in the joy of Yom-Tov. One can finally look at his family and praise Hashem for having given him such beautiful children. He can finally appreciate his wife in the proper manner. He can suddenly see the kindness of Hashem wherever he turns.

How fortunate is one who masters these temptations, not just in the next world, but in this world too!

Rav Yehudah Leib Ashlag, the Ba'al Hasulam, once said "What's the difference between Gashmius (physical pleasures) and Ruchnius (spiritual pleasures)? Gashmius everyone wants, but once you have it, there is no feeling of fulfillment. Ruchniyus on the other hand, nobody wants, but when you have it, there is such a deep feeling of fulfillment!"

How true this is with the pursuit of sexual pleasures. The whole world is running after it, almost everything in the media revolves around the "desire" for it. But you'll seldom, if ever, hear someone talk about how good he feels after it's over. It's all "want, want want" with no fulfillment. Spirituality on the other hand, no one seems to want. But someone who has it, there's no need to ask him how enlightened and uplifted his life feels!

In Parshas Vayetzeh when Yaakov Avinu came to the well and met the shepherds there, he asked them "From where do you come?" and they replied "from Charan". Explains the the Holy Noam Elimelech that Charan mean "wrath", and that the Pasuk is alluding to our spiritual growth. When a person wants to attain a higher level of spirituality he must always remember "from where did he come?" from "wrath", from angering G-d. This will bring him to a feeling of shame and humility which will then allow him to truly achieve a higher spiritual level. And the Noam Elimelech goes on to explain how this is especially true in our state of great sins today, where so many people stumble in the sexual transgression of spilling seed. And he says that precisely because we have fallen in the past, this allows us to truly grow closer to G-d through our humility and our great trembling, when we remember how many sins and anger we once caused G-d. And this is the meaning as well, of the words of our holy sages in Avos; "Remember three things and you won't come to sin - from where did you come? from a putrid drop"... Again, says the Noam Elimelech, this is hinting to the same idea, that when a person remembers the sins of the seed he spilled in the past, he will tremble before G-d and no longer come to sin, and through his humility and shame he will be able to ultimately reach the level where he is truly able to feel the words; "...and where are you going to stand? before the king of kings, the Almighty blessed be he" (ibid.

In short, the Noam Elimelech is telling us how we need to recognize that our failures in the past are the foundation of our future growth. The sins of our youth, and the shame and humility that we feel before G-d as a result, will ultimately allow us to grow much closer to G-d than we would have been able to otherwise.

Here's something nice I found on a Jewish forum discussing the plague of internet pornography. A Christian woman, Mrs. Robertson from St. Pete, FL writes: "Christians the world over look to the Jewish people to set a holy moral standard for all of us to follow. Don't allow the evil of pornography to pollute your holy offspring. Stamp the devil's agent out of the land. For all of us. May the people of Israel be blessed!"

As Yeshayah Hanavi wrote: "I have set you to be a light unto the nations". So let's leave all the filth out there to the nations of the world. We Jews have a G-dly mission, and all of mankind look to us for inspiration!

Taken from Tzvi Fishman's Blog on Arutz Sheva, at http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/4
Sent on Hoshana Rabba.  

Slaughter the Trojan Horse!

Everyone's final judgment is hermetically sealed and handed over to the Heavenly Tribunal on Hoshana Rabbah. Many Jews will stay up all night studying Torah this evening in a last burst of t'shuva. My friends, we have come down to the wire. Therefore in the name of our holy Sages, if you have not yet installed an anti-pornography filtering service on your computer, this is the time to do it. Save yourselves and save your holy children!

The beginning of this week marked the yahrtzeit of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov. Yesterday was the yahrtzeit of the Gaon of Vilna. Today, the guest in our Succah is Yosef.  Rabbi Nachman taught that the greatest test in life is to fight against the sexual temptation. As we have explained elsewhere, one of the main weapons in the battle is the lulav. The waving of the lulav and the succah itself are all designed to purify us from our sexual mistakes and protect us from the sexual sin. Rabbi Nachman explains that the awesome destructive power of the nations comes from their saturation in sexual impurity. They come against us with the power of evil. Our real weapon against them is not tanks and bombers, but our lulavs. The holiness of Israel is what overcomes our enemies, not our physical prowess. When we purify our beings, re-embrace the holy Brit and reattach ourselves to G-d, our enemies are shattered before us. This is the secret of the haftorahs we read on the first day of the Holiday and on Shabbat. It is not our physical might that defeats the terrible enemies that strike from the north, but our holy connection to G-d. The salvation is from Him.

Our Sages have long told us that sexual transgression causes a terrible rift between the Jewish Nation and G-d, causing exile and national destruction. Our enemies know this and therefore muster all of their cunning, material resources, and technology to bring us to sin. This has been the strategy from the time of Amalek, Midian, Greece, throughout history down to the zillion dollar industry of Internet pornography today. Today, this terrible enemy has not only invaded our territorial borders – rather, like the Trojan Horse, it has been afforded in an honored place in our homes. So if you want to join in the fight and help win the battle, save yourselves and your children, and the entire Jewish Nation – and expel this seductive, vile, and cruel and crafty enemy from your homes.

The Gaon of Vilna writes that the apocalyptic war of Gog and Magog that we read about on Succot can be averted if we reassert of allegiance to the Covenant of sexual purity through Tikun HaBrit. This is the great example and teaching of Yosef  who is called Yosef the Tzaddik because he resisted the temptations of Potifar's wife. It is Yosef, in his aspect of sexual holiness, who leads the way to tomorrow's exalted succah guest, King David, who represents the long-awaited Redemption and re-establishment of the Kingdom of Israel.  Rabbi Nachman stresses that it is precisely through the festival of Sukkot and the rectification of the Brit that comes through it that we attain the great holiness that leads us to victory over our enemies and to the renewal of the fallen succah of David.

This week, we had the honor of welcoming the esteemed Kabbalist, HaRav Eliahu Leon Levi, in our succah. He explained that because we are in the sixth millennium of Jewish history, which parallels the sefirah of the Yesod, the channel of sexual purity represented by Yosef, the nations of the world are waging a fierce spiritual war against us, precisely in this sphere, the very foundation of our holiness and connection to G-d. This is the underlying reason for all of the sexual licentiousness today. It is the people who sanctify their sexual lives, he said, who will find "a refuge in Zion and Jerusalem" in the end of days, as our Prophets have promised.

Each of us can play a part in this national sanctification by making sure that the impurity of the nations of the world does not seep into his or her home through the Trojan Horse of the Internet. Download a filter today. In our home, we have three for safe measure: Eye-Saver of Bezeq; K9 Web Protection; and the new enhanced Israeli Rimon.

If we all make this a part of our t'shuva, we will give a big push to bring the Redemption much closer. May it come soon. Amen.

Taken From www.briskodesh.org

Pgam Habris is a very strong Klipah (impure husk). Rebbe Nachman writes that staying pure from any sort of Pgam Habris, in action, thought or speech, is the main test that a person is subjected to in his life. It is therefore not surprising that many fall into these Klipas, each person according to his personal downfalls.

Even though it is a constant battle to be Shomer Habris, a person must do so for his whole life is dependent on it, both in this world and the next. The punishment for any sort of Pgam Habris is extreme. In this world, a person is brought through suffering after suffering for his actions. In the next world, the person is demolished completely for such sins. Any person in this world who is leading a happy life although he is Pogem Habris, should know that every ounce of his energy is coming straight from the Sitra Achra (the other side) and in fact his punishment after death will be many times more then those who have suffered in this world for their sins.

A person who is Pogem Habris is cut off from all Holiness in this world and the Next.

In Western Society, the various sins of Pgam Habris are looked at as if they are harmless. Even in the religious world, some of the sins, such as spilling seed, are almost totally ignored. Since people do not hear about the severity of these sins, they hardly stay away from them. Even the people that were warned that it is a sin to commit such actions look at them like an extremely minor transgression with very little consequences. In Western Society it is considered impossible to be Shomer Habris. There are even wicked people who claim that it is unhealthy to be Shomer Habris.

This is all a lie. Pgam Habris is one of the worst sins that a person can commit. A person is going to be punished for his actions even if he passed his life pretending that he is ignorant and avoiding the truth.

There is absolutely no other option other then to be a mighty worrier and battle these klipos constantly, through every up and down, until they are destroyed completely.

For more on this subject and for briskodesh's tips on breaking free, click here.

Taken From www.briskodesh.org

It is not impossible

Many people who were raised in Western Society steeped in the Klipot, believe that it is impossible to be Shomer Habris. This is not true. There are thousands upon thousands of people in Eretz Yisroel and throughout the world that are Shomer Habris, amongst them many that are single and not married.

For those that claim that if a person never fell into these Klipot it is possible, but one who has unfortunately stumbled has no way of picking himself up, this is also not true. There are many Balei Teshuva, who in the first part of their life committed many severe sins. Later they managed to rectify their life and become Shomer Habris.

The first thing a person needs is the will to stop. It is going to be a tough battle and a person must be truly committed to stop. A person should recognize that although his animalistic soul is still very attached to these Klipot, at times even controlling him. He himself knows that it is a terrible sin and he is petrified of committing it. He must have the will to want to be Shomer Habris. If he was given an easy way to do it, he would go there immediately. Now that there is no easy way to remain pure, he commits himself to fight with all his power.

There is only one way to reach this will, that is to read as much as he can about the severity of these sins and the damage that it causes. Even though this topic is ignored by Western Society, it does not excuse one from researching this topic.

Although there is only a small amount of information on this web site (www.briskodesh.org), one should begin with this. There is also a list of Sefarim that deal with this topic. A person should try his hardest to study as many of them as he can.

Click here to download a PDF file on the importance of Shmiras Aynayim.

There are three different mind-frames that one can use when he is faced with a strong challenge in Shmiras Ha'ainayim or Shmiras Ha'bris . Each person can choose the one that works best for him. There also may be times when one way will work better for you than the other ways, so it is important to train your mind in all three frames of thinking.

Mind Frame 1. Tell yourself there is nothing there! It is all air, a big bubble of the Yetzer Hara! True, it looks so tempting, but as Chaza"l say, "a woman is but a barrel of excrement, and her mouth (allegorically) is filled with blood - and yet all run after her!". And know, that even as a person sins, he is asking himself what he gains from this, what is so amazing about this?! Rash Lakish (who was once the head of the robbers), writes in the Gemara that the desire to look at women is much more than the pleasure of the actual deed itself!". The minute a person has had his few second pleasure, all the fantasies and arousals vanish like smoke! The bubble pops in his face! And how the Yetzer Hara laughs at him, for he has given away his world to come for a big bag of empty air! Remember, the only reason it seems so hard is because G-d wants us to work on ourselves, therefore he gave us this "imaginary" struggle. The minute one realizes that it's all a "trick" of G-d to test our loyalty to him, he won't let his heart be swayed any more by "hot air".

However powerful this frame of mind may be though, not always is a person able to manage with this mind-set. Sometimes, no matter how much he tells himself that it's all hot air, his blood is still boiling... That's where Mind Frame 2 comes in...

Mind Frame 2. Learn how to take the pain of saying "No" to yourself. Learn how to enjoy the challenge! Tell yourself, the pain I feel is GOOD for me, the pain I feel is HEALING me, and it is fixing all that I have damaged in the past. Can you imagine the pleasure we give G-d every time we see something that pulls us to go astray, and instead of letting it get to us, we go against everything in our nature and scream out to G-d from the depths of our hearts and say "G-d!! Take this powerful desire of mine on your heavenly alter as a sacrifice for your honor!".

Again, however, not always is a person able to hold onto such a frame of mind. Sometimes a person can't bear the pain and he doesn't feel up to making sacrifices to G-d. Instead, what he sees can cause him to become depressed and end up sinning, G-d forbid. That's where Mind Frame 3 comes in...

Mind Frame 3. Instead of letting yourself feel the pain and having to sacrifice it to G-d, train yourself instead how to uplift the beauty that you see to G-d. In other words, instead of letting the beauty and desire get to you, immediately cry out to G-d in you heart "Oh G-d, how beautiful YOU must be, that you created such beauty in the world! For you, Oh G-d, are the SOURCE of all beauty and pleasure that exists!"..."I want you G-d, as much as I want this! I want you G-d, instead of this!" This frame of mind is a beautiful method of uplifting your heart to G-d and not letting the desire get to you. How holy a person can become, if he trains his mind to think in this way! (For more on this method, see number 3 at our e-mail list page).

Hashem doesn't ask of us that which we can't do. The Torah says "Ki karov elecha hadavar me'od", which means "it is very close to you" (i.e that it is not difficult). So why does it feel sometimes so hard? The answer is, these profound words of the Torah are true only when one makes a decision in his mind, once and for always, that this is truly what he wants! In other words, it's not half as much a matter of "will power" as it is simply deciding that this is what you want!

"Just once" is always too much. A thousand times is never enough.

Sometimes you are feeling low, depressed and very vulnerable. In such a state the Yetzer Hara tells you that there's no use trying to fight. But realize one thing. The depression you feel will not go away by giving in, it will only get worse. The more you give in, the more you will need... But in such a state, it is sometimes hard to fight all the way. Instead, distract yourself. Waste some time reading a good book, take a jog or take your family to the park. If you're tired, lay down and take a nap. But don't give in! Remember this always - no matter what state you are in,  giving in will SOLVE NOTHING!

The middah of humility is one of the most powerful tools in dealing with sexual desire and obsession. When you are feeling weak, vulnerable and needy, and everything inside you in craving to just give in, one of the best ways to overcome the test is to just let go and say to yourself " Who am I? What are my desires against the desires of the creator of all the universe?!". Even though every fiber of your being is pulling you in one direction, you can annul yourself before G-d and give up your entire being to him. There is no greater sacrifice than this. Happy is the man who is zoche to be able to do this. It is considered by Hashem as if he offered himself up on the Mizbeach as a sacrifice.

Rav Nachman says, the name of the Yetzer Hara in our generation is "Dimyon" - "imagination". This is very deep. That's truly all the Yetzer Hara is, a big bubble of "imaginary" pleasure that just pops in your face!

Think about it. Sexuality is really 97% desire and only 3% pleasure. Let's analyze it:

- First, you want it. Then you want it more. Then you start to give in and need it more and more. Then you want it so much, you NEED it. Then you must have it now! Then you're about to get it! Then, it's finally coming, you want it, want it, want it...

- But if you ever paid attention though, as the pleasure actually comes - the arousals have already left your head. There are no more lusts or fantasies, only the petty pleasure. The bubble of desire is already gone, even as the pleasure comes. The Yetzer Hara has done it's job already...

- 10 seconds later, it's all over. Done. Nothing. Only emptiness and quilt are left to linger.

So it's 97% desire and 3% pleasure. So what is there to give in for? Don't give up everything precious for this! Earn your eternal reward in the world to come by just saying "No".

Use simple analysis to conquer the Yetzer Hara! No need to be a mighty warrior in a major battle. Sometimes, just using your "head" takes away the necessity for a mighty battle in your "heart".

We discussed yesterday how the Yetzer Hara is all air, and that by using your head, you can conquer him without a major battle in your heart. However, this is only true if you guard your eyes carefully. Once the eyes start to see, the heart starts to lust, and the battle switches over from being in the mind to being a much more difficult battle of the heart. Therefore, a person must make boundaries for themselves! Accept upon yourself to stop doing the things that cause the heart to become aroused. Install a fool proof filter! Stop watching movies, they are full of things that awaken the heart to lust - without you even wanting to let it happen. Stop reading non-Jewish magazines and news-papers. Learn to guard your eyes in the street. You MUST make boundaries if you are to make any progress! Otherwise, no matter how "smart" you are and no matter how much you are convinced in your mind of the folly of these desires, the heart will still wage a merciless battle. But if you guard the eyes, then the battle can remain only in the realm of the mind, which is much easier to win!

You are a mature adult who can make the right choices. Say no to the child within you.

Chaza"l say that if a person is walking and he needs to say Kriyas Shema, he should "stand" and not continue walking when he says the first pasuk. The Beis Ahron of Karlin explains this to mean that one should stand firm like a beam of iron, meaning that when one accepts upon himself the yoke of heaven completely, he is able to stand up against any desire, even the greatest among the great. And, he continues, this is the meaning of true mesiras nefesh.

There is nothing as powerful as prayer to help a person break free and overcome the greatest tests. Make a note of pesukim in Tehilim that you feel relate to your situation. Compile a list, print them out and save them in your wallet to read over to Hashem, with a broken heart, when you are feeling weak.

Click here for some example pesukim that can help you pray to Hashem.

Never underestimate the value of each and every time you say no to yourself. Sometimes a person is feeling weak and says to themselves, "what's the difference if I look now at something that I know I shouldn't - I'm anyway not feeling strong now". You must believe in the significance of saying no, every time, no matter for how long and no matter for what desire, be it a big sin or even a quick gaze at a woman. Tell yourself, "Now I will not look, now I will turn away. Later I may look, later I may fall, but just for NOW I will be strong". You must believe in the significance and importance of every time on it's own.

This is a powerful and proven way of making significant progress in the long term.

Taken from www.briskodesh.org

• Know that there are two sides.
• The side of good, and the side of evil (Sitra Achrah).
• G-d created evil to provide man with free will.
• The Sitra Achrah is like a shell (klipah) it has no energy of its own.
• All the klipas must receive their substance from the side of holiness (kedusha).
• In the days of idol worship (avodah zarah) people would consciously channel energy to the forces of evil through meditating and other practices.
• Human fluids especially, provide substance to demonic forces.
• It is for this reason that many satanic rituals require semen or blood.
• All pain and suffering that exists in the world comes from the klipas.
• In this generation the klipas receive most of their nourishment from people who are pogem their bris (desecrate the convent).
• The most common of these transgressions is spilling seed (motze zera lvtalah).
• Unfortunately this sin is quite common today. If people would realize its consequences many would stop.
• Due to our low level and many sins, this topic is ignored
• Just the opposite, shmiras habris is the most important issue to deal with today.

More from www.briskodesh.org

• Many people were pogem their bris since they were young and no longer remember their state of mind before they started.
• Most people nowadays are controlled by their subconscious. Even conscious acts are strongly tainted by their subconscious.
• This enslaves a person, strongly limiting his abilities.
• Again someone who has never been out of these klipos (impure husks) can not associate with this. Through meditation one can start to feel this.
• Spilling seed makes this much worse. A person's emotions are thrown totally out of balance.
• People who are pogem their bris often have a hard time controlling their temper, they are subject to bouts of sadness and depression, and they lose their self confidence.

More from www.briskodesh.org

• Wasting seed uses up a lot of of the bodies energy this has many physical manifestations.
• People who are pogem the bris are always tired and need more sleep.
• There is spiritual energy all over the place.
• A special part of the brain is designated to receive these signals.
• However the information entering from the five senses is so strong that it blocks out the spirituality.
• A person who studies torah keeps halacha and meditates can feel spirituality very strongly. 
• Even a regular person can feel spirituality to some degree. A person should be able to feel a difference on Shabbat.
• Someone who is pogem habris loses almost all his ability to perceive kedusha.
• One also loses his desire to study Torah and do mitzvos.

The Chassidim teach that physical love is a branch of spiritual love. It is a materialistic expression of what the soul truly years for. G-d gave us these desires only to "learn" what the love of G-d should be like. As David Hamelech said, "Tzama nafshi le'lokim... Kama lecha besari" - "my sould thirst for you, my skin aches for you".

If someone has a very strong sub-conscience need for love, it means he has a great soul because he has the highest opportunity for true love of G-d. But he is in this world to learn how to focus it properly, to channel the love in the right place - to the source of all love, all beauty, all desire, and all good.

This is an amazing tip that really works to get you started, if you are determined to learn how to guard your eyes:

Commit (for a few weeks or a period of time), to pinch yourself -- enough to make it hurt -- every time you gaze improperly at something that you know you shouldn't.

Taken from the forum at www.jewishsexuality.com/

Gary Writes:
"I made it thru the whole week. I have been following the 12 Torah Steps for almost 2 months. I confessed to my Rabbi and he has an encouraging word each morning after Sharcharis. I try doing a mikvah a day, reciting Tikun Yeshuat Eliahu, learning Torah with a hevruta in the evening, and I moved the computer into the living room so I can't be alone with it. My Rabbi said that my stopping on Shabbat was proof that I could overcome the urge on weekdays too. He was right".

More from www.briskodesh.org on the seriousness of spilling seed, according to Kabbala.

• Just like a person creates children through intercourse, so too, souls are drawn down every time a person spills seed.
• These souls are immediately captured by the forces of evil who torture and starve them, stealing all their energy for themselves.
• The souls brought down through a person's sins are also considered his kids.
• They are not to happy about the position their father put them in.
• After a person dies these souls come to take revenge on their father, causing him many problems (there are a number of halochos during the funeral and shivah that help prevent this).
• In addition, they also come after his physical children and try to harm them.
• Using energy taken from this person, the forces of darkness give birth to Lilim (sexual demons).
• These demons hang around a person, steal his energy, confuse him and stick thoughts in his head.
• If he tries to meditate, he will see many thoughts streaming through his mind are not his own.
• These thoughts include sexual thoughts and thoughts denying G-D.
• At night, these demons influence the persons dreams, and cause him to have nocturnal emissions (mikreh lailah).

I can't believe I'm quoting from an Islamic Forum. Nonetheless, I think these excerpt from a forum discussion have some educational value for us. It makes us feel all the more responsibility in these areas, for if even these people, who are called "Am Hadomeh Lachamor" are expected by their religion to stay clean from masturbation, how much more so are we Jews, as G-d's holy nation, required to guard ourselves!

THE RULING REGARDING MASTURBATION

Masturbation is Haraam (unlawful). This is the ruling of the four Madhaahibs viz. Maliki, Shafée, Hanafee and one riwaayah (narration) from Imaam Hanbalee. They have drawn their conclusions from various proofs. I would recommend any person who is involved in masturbation to keep roza (fasting) because it controls ones sexual desires. If you think you cannot fast, then you should do some exercise and no doubt exercise does keeps ones sexual desires under control. Their are many bad side effects of masturbation and there is a medical report which throws light on the symptoms of masturbation. I hope my brothers will avoid doing it. Believe me brothers i have seen some people who have destroyed their future by getting involved in these kinds of bad activities, it is just like drug addiction, If any person who thinks that if he does masturbation once a week or month then it will not harm him but this is not true because most of the people who do excessive masturbation are those who use to do it once a month but later they got into its habit and ruined their lives. I would recommend those who want to get ride of masturbation, to do exercise when ever you feel like masturbating, it surely does controls sexual desires, and diverts your attention from masturbation as soon as this evil strikes your mind.

Taken from www.tikunhabrit.com

Sometimes, when we find ourselves drawn time and time again, to looking at things we know we shouldn't, we ask ourselves "wouldn't it be great if I just couldn't see"? But then you start to think about how wonderful it is to be able to see. You begin to realize that without your eyes, you wouldn't be able to get around, to support yourself and family, to enjoy food, to enjoy the beauty in your wife and children and to enjoy the beautiful world. So then you ask yourself, "So, which is better? To be blind and have no test, or to enjoy the tremendous gift of sight and simply learn to work on ourselves? We need to realize that our eyes truly don't belong to us. They were given to us by G-d to be able to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, and to experience his infinite goodness. So how can we let ourselves use this precious gift to rebel against him?

A non-Jewish sex therapist in Maryland wrote on one of the forums of Arutz Sheva (on the subject of porn addictions): "While many men watch pornography to stimulate their sexual excitement with their wives, the opposite is the case. The experience of our clinic and studies have indicated that pornography deadens a husband's attraction to his wife, leading him to find satisfaction outside of the marital relationship or forcing him to rely on Viagra and the like".

If even non-Jews see the awful results of this phenomena, how much more so should we - the holy people of Hashem - remain strong, and stay far away from such evils!

We all know how the attraction to women makes no logical sense. It is part of our animal nature, given to us by G-d for the sole purpose of the perpetuation of mankind. As our sages said, "everyone knows that  a woman is a barrel of excrement and that her mouth (allegorically) is full of blood, and yet all run after her". Therefore, if one wants to save himself from the fires of this desire, he needs to stay as far away as he can from that which awakens his animal instincts. This is why guarding the eyes is so important. For as long as one has not seen anything to awaken his instincts, his logic can rule, and he can use his mind to overcome the desire without waging a major battle. However, once he has let himself see something that awakens his animal instincts, his mind is no longer in control and there is nothing he can do to change his instincts besides putting up a difficult fight. It is similar to someone telling a child not to put his hand in fire and the child says, "why not, it looks so nice" and sticks his hand in. Obviously, he will give a cry and pull his hand out as fast as he can. There is nothing the child can do to prevent the pain once he has touched the fire, since a human being feels terrible pain from fire whether he understands it or not. But there is one thing we all can do, and that is - don't stick your hand in fire in the first place! It is the same with guarding the eyes.

The man who sees a woman improperly exposed and closes his eyes because at that time he can't go anywhere else, merits to greet the Shechina, for he has drawn an great light of holiness onto his soul. Even though he has no conscious perception of it, he is really greeting Her at that very moment, for this light stems from Her - Taharat Hakodesh, p. 55

From the Medrash Yalkut Shimoni, Vayechi

THE FOLLOWING STORY HAPPENED TO RABBI MATYA BEN CHERESH WHO WOULD ALWAYS BE SITTING IN THE BET HA MIDRASH ENGAGED IN TORAH STUDY AND THE BRILLIANCE OF HIS FACE RESEMBLED THE SUN AND THE APPEARANCE OF HIS FACE RESEMBLED THAT OF THE MINISTERING ANGELS, BECAUSE HE HAD NEVER RAISED HIS EYES TO LOOK AT WOMEN

Once the Satan fixed his sight on this Tzaddik and said to himself: "Is it possible that this man does not sin? " Then the Satan went and asked G-d: "How do you consider Rabbi Matya Ben Cheresh?" And G-d replied: "He is a perfect Tzaddik" The Satan said to G-d: "Give me permission to put him to the test". G-d told the Satan: "Go".

THE SATAN APPEARED TO THE RABBI AS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND HE PREFERRED BEING BLIND THAN SINNING BEFORE HASHEM

The Satan appeared to the Rabbi as a beautiful woman the like of which there had never been in the world. When the Tzaddik saw he immediately turned his face away from the woman. Then the woman quickly moved to the side where Rabbi Matya had turned his face to, and he quickly again turned his face away from that woman. Then the Tzaddik said: "I am afraid that my Yetzer haRa will overpower me and will cause me to sin" What did the Tzaddik do? He called a student that was there with him and ordered him to bring him fire with nails. The student brought him nails and the Tzaddik put them to his eyes and became blind. When the Satan saw this he trembled and fell on his back.

HASHEM ORDERED THE ANGEL RAPHAEL TO CURE THE TZADDIK

At that time The Holy One Blessed be He called the angel Raphael for he is in charge of healing and told him: "Go and heal Rabbi Matya Ben Cheresh" Then Raphael came in front of the Rabbi and he asked: "Who are you" and he replied: "I am Raphael the angel, I came for G-d sent me to cure your eyes" and Rabbi Matya replied: "Leave me alone, what is already done is what will be" Raphael returned before the Holy One Blessed be He and said: "Master of the World, thus spoke Matya" G-d said to him: "Go back to him and tell him that I will personally guarantee that the Yetzer haRa will have no power over him". Immediately Raphael went and cured Matya. From here Our Sages said: "All those that are careful not to look at women, The Yetzer haRa has no power over them".

The Yetzer Hara's biggest tool in getting people to sin, is depression. One way to always remain happy is to remember that everything we go through in life - including all of the "unfulfilled" desires that we think we need and all the suffering that we endure, it is all only for our good. We are designed and programmed by God to attain lasting pleasure. That's our function. God is not stingy. He wants us to have the premium -- the greatest possible pleasure, just like most parents want nothing less for their children. Anything less than the very best would smack of imperfection, in contradiction to God's perfect essence. We must believe that this is the best possible world, since it is a reflection of God's perfection. "Since God desired to bestow good, a partial good would not be sufficient. The good that He bestows would have to be the ultimate good that His handiwork could accept." (The Way of God, 1:2:1). Since God is perfect and has no needs, He cannot take; He only gives. Creation is not for His benefit. It is one continuous gift of pure altruism, an act of complete giving without getting anything in return. "God's purpose in creation was to bestow of His good to another." [Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, The Way of God, 1:2:1].

One way to perfect this frame of mind of how G-d deals with us, is to look at how we deal with our own kids. We all know that kids hate school and would rather stay home. So why do we parents force them to go? Obviously we want the best for them, but they are too young to understand that we are leading them down a path of opportunity and lifelong fulfillment for their own good. However, if the child would truly trust that the parent wanted only the best for him, the child would be able to keep a happy frame of mind while going to school. He would be just as happy as an adult who was accepted to a big-name university to study for a prestigious degree for the job of his dreams.

Obviously, this frame of mind requires a lot of faith, but if we work on it enough we can be given the gift by God to start to truly feel it. And with this frame of mind, a man can achieve the ultimate happiness and be saved from sin. Every test we go through is another step towards graduation in this incredible opportunity of a school called "Life". Keep happy, you are in the best school possible and your teacher is none-other than G-d himself!

Do not EVER let the Yetzer Hara make you sad or dejected if you stumble. This sadness can be worse than the sin itself. The Yetzer Hara is hoping to get you depressed and take you away from Hashem and from yourself. We must always serve Hashem be'simcha. This is one of the most fundamental teachings of Chassidus.

The Lechevitcher Rebbe (a student of R'Shlomo of Karlin) once went as far as to say that even if a person just killed someone and the knife is still dripping with blood, but he feels can't stand up and pray Mincha (the afternoon service) with all his strength and with all his heart, then he has not yet tasted from the waters of Chassidus!

Sometimes when a person tries to guard his eyes the evil inclination tells him "why are you not letting yourself experience the beauty that G-d created in his world? There is so much incredible beauty out there, why do you try to ignore it?" One must realize though that "there is beauty and there is beauty". Some of the beauty in this world was put here just to test us, to trick us, and to turn us away from G-d. From this type of beauty we need to keep far away. But sometimes to have the strength to do this, we need to focus on the other beauty, the beauty of G-d. We need to learn to see the beauty in G-d's handiwork, and focus on that instead when we are being tested. For example, each one of us ourselves is such a beautiful expression of G-d's handiwork, the amazing perfection of how our body, mind and soul all work together. Also, how much beauty there is in the world around us! The beauty in our children, in our own wife, in the sunset, and in the perfect collaboration in nature - all designed by G-d to work in perfect sync and to be pleasing to man...

And if we indeed work on ourselves and focus on G-d's infinite beauty instead, then truly there is nothing more beautiful in G-d's eyes than this.

If you struggle a lot with intense desire, it means you have a lot of emotional / spiritual energy in you. It is the people like you that have the capacity for the most intense spiritual connection with G-d. However, you need to learn to channel this energy in the right way. Channel it into your prayer, you will be amazed how uplifting it can become! Do mitzvot with joy, learn Torah with passion! Most religious people today serve G-d like an alarm clock, they turn on, they turn off. But they remain dead inside, like a clock - an inanimate object. You were given a gift by G-d. The struggles you experience are really just the vibes of your soul, striving for true love of G-d. Your divine service can be so much more than average... Breath your emotional energy into your divine service - bring your heart to life!