B”H |
The Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk List
E-Mails 151-200
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151. |
Translated Quotes from a new Sefer "Ve'ha'ir Ainainu"
The Chofetz Chaim describes our times as being a mighty struggle
between the forces of purity and impurity, from which only a few
sturdy heroes will emerge unscathed. Rabbi Elya Lopian ztl explains
why today's battle is fiercer than ever before in history. The long
years of golus are drawing to an end. The Satan is in his death
throes, fighting with all his might before he is to be vanquished
forever. As the curtains come down on the very last act - who will
finally win the day? The Yetzer Hara is desperate to be the
conqueror. It's now or never, and this is his last shot. No holds
barred. Ripped away are all former standards of modesty or decency.
And we, the handful of stalwarts who seek only to stand firmly
planted in the camp of Hashem's legions, feel fragile and vulnerable
to provocation and assault every time we step out into the street.
How can we hope to keep our eyes holy in a world gone mad?
The ideal answer to the dangers of the street is to keep the mind
engaged in thinking about one's Torah learning. Once the imagination
is not roaming free and the mind is fully focused, then whatever is
happening around us fades into the background.
And Torah alone helps shield from sin. The Rambam writes:
"improper thoughts will only gain access to a mind that is empty of
wisdom". Therefore our Rabbanim advise preparing in advance some
Torah topic to ponder or revise, or something to repeat over to
oneself.
The Mesilas Yeshorim puts it succinctly: Hashem created our
Yetzer Hara and He created Torah as its antidote. So nothing
else will be as effective. Period.
Those who rarely sally forth from the precincts of the Yeshiva may
be fine with the above formula. However, there is a plan B for those
who cannot, at will, just become immersed in a sugya every
time they need to go somewhere. And that is simply to put the mind
onto some other pertinent and absorbing topic, or to just sing
mentally through some well-loved song. So long as it has one wrapped
up in his own world of thought and detached from the stimulations of
his immediate surroundings.
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The
Sefer "Ve'ha'ir Ainainu" can be purchased in the following places
(in Hebrew):
In
Kiryat Sefer (Modi'in Ilit) - Rav Goldshmit (the author): Tel:
08-9742822
In Jerusalem - 02 6235786
In Bnei-Brak - 03 6164314
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152. |
A
continuation of translated quotes from
the
introduction
of the new sefer
"Ve'ha'ir Ainainu"
Those
who seek to truly serve Hashem and always guard their eyes will face
major hurdles. For a start; it's a negative. 'Don't look!,' we
command ourselves, 'Pay no attention to what you're missing out
on!'. Loosened morals however, is something that human nature finds
so inviting and quickly gets excited over.
Curbing unruly urges can be a bitter struggle. Rabbi Dessler ztl
compares pushing the Yetzer Hara away to pressing down on a coiled
spring that is just accumulating the vigor to jump right back. Rabbi
Chaim Friendlander ztl therefore prefers a positive approach,
such as saying to ourselves the following:
-
"I don't
want to view anything unseemly".
-
"Not looking
will bring me sanctity and merit".
-
"The
forbidden fruits of lowly, sensuous momentary thrills are not
for me".
-
"I'm not
losing out on any pleasures when I opt for the true spiritual
wealth and eternal bliss".
The
Sefer Ve'ho'air Einaiynu was written to spell out for
the reader some of the wonderful rewards in this world and the next,
for whoever guard his eyes, such that one will be readily willing to
discard the imaginary pleasures of the flesh, as he begins to
perceive the beauty of Shemiras Einayim.
The Mesilas Yeshorim writes (ch. 27) that Kedusha starts out as an
effort, but then it comes to us as a reward. At first it's hard
work, but then it's handed to us as a gift.
After a couple of successes, things get easier. It's those first
serious struggles that are so tough. The Yetzer Hara seems to be a
mountain. But as soon as one begins to rid himself of the old
habits, the road ahead becomes clear, and all it takes is a low-key
continuous input to keep it all going.
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153. |
A
continuation of translated quotes from
the
introduction
of the new sefer
"Ve'ha'ir Ainainu"
How Yosef Hatzadik
was tested
When
speaking of holiness and guarding one's eyes from impure sights, the
first name that springs to mind is of the paradigm of holiness,
Yosef Hatzadik. This seventeen - year-old boy of unsurpassed beauty,
newly wrenched away from all his righteous family, alone now in a
land saturated with immorality, was bought as a slave by the
prominent and wealthy Potiphar. He was quickly promoted to the
position of managing all of his master's affairs and then... His
master's wife saw him and became implacably determined to seduce him
to sin with her. She put him through the most agonizing trials. This
formidable temptress tried verbal persuasion. She would change her
clothes three times every day. She made things successively harsher
for him and threatened his refusal with the most fearful
consequences. After having him thrown into prison for his unbending
no, his problems were far from over.
She regularly visited him there and warned him 'So you think this is
the last of your woes? If you persist in your obstinacy there are
worse tortures coming. I will have you bound in iron chains, bent
over and unable to stand erect. I will have you blinded,' and on and
on.
Not only was she relentlessly working to making him yield to her
advances, but her heart was also set on getting him to somehow to
look at her. The Midrash tells us that she even positioned a metal
pointed roasting spit at his neck to coerce him to look at her. But
her efforts were in vain.
The Medrash makes the point in several places, that the severest of
his trials was in fact to avoid looking at her. Yet he stood firm.
That mighty hero, Yosef Hatzadik, never once glimpsed at her. After
twelve years, his purity intact, he emerged from prison and was
rushed to stand before Pharaoh.
The story of Yosef to be continued tomorrow...
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154. |
How Yosef Hatzadik was tested
(Part
2)
As
the newly appointed Mishneh Lemelech (viceroy) Yosef was
driven through the streets of Mitzrayim in Pharaohs' royal chariot.
The Medrash Raba describes how the daughters of the noblemen
peeped at him from their windows and threw their fine jewellery, one
piece after the next, into his carriage in the hope that he might
look up at them. But no, Yosef would not raise his eyes. In
Targum Yerushalmi we are further told how the daughters of the
aristocrats exclaimed to one another in sheer amazement: 'Oh, see
this pious nobleman who so perfectly controls his eyes and his
thoughts'.
In this Yosef was unique. Never did his eyes behold anything that
they shouldn't. Until Hashem was moved to say: 'I must surely pay
back those eyes that were shut fast'...
All of Klal Yisrael ultimately reaped from this rich harvest.
The nascent nation descended to this land that was uncontested for
its low morals. Nevertheless, every Jew retained his purity because
each felt strengthened by the Kedusha of that saintly bochur
who prevailed over all the forces of impurity and wickedness, and
triumphed over whatever he was subjected to. And the influence of
Yosef's sanctity shields us to this very day.
The Seforim say, why did Hashem engineer Yosef's coming down to
Mitzrayim ahead of all his family? To empower a Merkava to
the Shechina there in Mitzrayim, as explained in the Zohar,
and to neutralize their overpowering evil and filth, by his going
through all those trials.
They also ask: What noble deeds were performed to prepare the ground
for the Jewish nation's arrival? None. No great deeds, no Kabalistic
Yichudim. Nothing. All that happened was that Yosef held out
and did not once look at his seductress. And this non-action
enabled the Jewish people to come and stay in Mitzrayim for the next
210 years!
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155. |
A
continuation of translated quotes from
the
introduction
of the new sefer
"Ve'ha'ir Ainainu"
Curiosity
The
Chofetz Chiam reassures us that even if we have no confidence that
our new resolutions will affect more than a slight dent in our old
habits, it will still prove well worth the effort.
One of the first things we'll have to tackle if we wish to guard our
eyes is our well-entrenched habit of curiosity. Aside from the
natural attraction toward histaklus, most of us feel an urge
to look all around at whatever may be happening in the vicinity. As
we casually walk down the street, our eyes dart here and there -
"who's this?" and "what's that?", and it all costs us countless
needless confrontations with the Yetzer Hara.
Before heading for the street, we could give ourselves a mini
pep-talk that could run something like this: "I need to go
someplace now and no more than that. There is nothing en-route that
requires my investigation. This itch to never miss what's going on
is really quite pointless, not to mention unbecoming. Instead, by
lowering my eyes, I can create my own inner sanctum that will shield
me from impure invasion".
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156. |
A
continuation of translated quotes from
the
introduction
of the new sefer
"Ve'ha'ir Ainainu"
Dangerspots
(Part
1)
The foremost rule for every man is to avoid coming across women, as
far as this is possible. One who unnecessarily exposes himself to
risky places, is called a Rasha even if he shuts his eyes,
for where is his fear of sin? By going there, he is
demonstrating a degree of indifference to this delicate issue.
The Arizal tells us how immodest mingling contaminates the very air
being breathed. This is true to such an extent, that Avraham Avinu
suddenly became aware of Sarah's exquisite beauty as he neared the
degenerate land of Mitzrayim, saying: "Behold, now I know that you
are a women of beautiful appearance".
When the local girl schools' or seminaries' lesson times begin or
end, we must try to consider those streets as strictly off limits.
Likewise, any main streets that tend to be populated by women should
be avoided if an alternative route is available. The rule number one
in Shmiras Ainayim says R' Chaim Shmulevitch, is just to keep
away from women. By contrast, there is an Halachic opinion that
finds nothing wrong with walking past a shrine of idol worship!
But when it comes to matters of arayos, there's no such
thing. The natural tendencies of a man cause him to find matters of
arayos so very fascinating and so sorely tempting, as Chazal
term it:
"Nafsho
shel adom mis'aveh lahem ume' chamadesan
- the soul of a man desires them and craves
them''.
In their wisdom, Chazal erected firm safeguards. By keeping away
from women, one pre-empts confrontation with the Yetzer Hara. No
need to keep pressing down on that coiled spring (that we
mentioned in e-mail #152).
And as we cease having to fight our unruly passions head on, they
will gradually begin to subside and the fire of desire dies down.
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157. |
Dangerspots
(Part
2)
Rav
Schwadron ztl used to tell the following story about R' Ahron Kotler
ztl and his insistence on staying away from streets that tend to be
frequented by women.
When R' Ahron lived in Kletzk, his home was some distance from the
Yeshiva, and to use the main streets would entail challenges in
Shemiras Einayim. So he went instead by way of the backyards,
and had to vault over the fences, etc. It once happened that two
bochurim were at his home discussing Torah until it was almost time
to be back in Yeshiva. He offered to take them with him along his
usual quick route behind the houses. They couldn't refuse, but when
they reached an alleyway prowled by big fierce dogs, they were
simply too scared to proceed. R' Ahron instructed them to take hold
of the hems of his coat and walk beside him. Trembling, they obeyed
and - lo and behold, the dogs simply ignored the trio.
We see from this story that R' Ahron would prefer to negotiate tall
fences and dangerous hounds, rather than use the regular streets
which entailed tests in Shemiras Einayim.
Did Chazal not say that a man should walk behind a lion in
preference to walking behind a woman?
R' Eliyohu Mann Shlita once asked the Steipler ztl: 'My daily
journey to give Shiur in the Petach Tikvah Yeshiva is replete with
risks in Shemiras Einayim, what should I do about it?' The
Stiepler felt that the whole exercise wasn't worth while, but then
suggested that he wear a pair of sunglasses with the lenses blacked
out by a felt-tip marker. A small area should be left clear
of-course, just enough for him to be able to see where he's going.
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158. |
The
Gift of Sight
Do we appreciate it enough?
I read once an article in the
Hamodia about a twenty year old boy
who had a genetic disease and lost
his eye sight without warning, in
the span of just a few days.
Obviously this was very difficult
for him at first, but now a year
later, he tells how losing his eye
sight has made him realize what is
really important in life. He can no
longer party and get drunk with his
friends like he used to, and he
doesn't want to
anymore. He no longer sees people by
their looks, but rather by
who
they are. He has come a lot
closer to Torah and to G-d, and has
found much more meaning in his life.
We should never, G-d forbid, have to
undergo such an experience to make
us "open our eyes" to what is truly
important in life. Let us
instead appreciate the incredible
gift of eye sight, and not G-d
forbid abuse it. How fortunate are
we to be able to see all of G-d's
beautiful creation, to experience
life and to be able to take care of
ourselves by seeing the world around
us! But let us not take this gift
lightly. When going out into the
street, let us turn our eyes
downwards and not allow ourselves to
abuse this tremendous gift.
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159. |
Faith Above Understanding
We can try hard to guard our eyes and
even make all sorts of barriers and
penalties for ourselves, but if we
aren't willing to truly give G-d
our
hearts, we will likely end up
slipping again. What does it mean to
give G-d
our heart? It means that we need
to be ready to accept Emunah upon
ourselves without any understanding,
Emunah that is beyond logic.
Using our "mind" and our "logic" alone
is not enough in the battle with the
yetzer hara. As we have seen so many
times in the past, with all that we know
and understand, we still keep slipping.
This is because G-d wants us to give him
our hearts,
not just
our minds. He wants us to accept
true Emunah upon ourselves, Emunah that
is above reason.
Indeed, only when one's Emunah
is stronger than his understanding will
his understanding finally have a lasting
value and
be able
to truly help him. As Chaza"l
say "Kol
She Yiraso Kodemes LeChochmaso,
Chachmaso Miskayemes -
if his fear of heaven is greater than
his wisdom, his wisdom will last".
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160. |
You
just won a million dollars!
A Mashgiach once told me that a
Bochur asked him on Chanuka night
for some Chizuk. So the Mashgiach
asked him, "If you had just found
out that you won a million dollars,
would you still need Chizuk? "No"
answered the Bochur. "Well",
continued the Mashgiach, "if someone
offered you a million dollars to
sell them the Mitzva of the Chanuka
lighting that you just did, would
you sell it to them?". "I don't
think so", answered the Bochur. "So
that means", said the Mashgiach,
"that you just did something that is
more precious to you than a million
dollars!
And you still feel you need Chizuk??"
So if someone offered us a million
dollars to sell them the merit that
we earn when we turn our eyes away
from seeing bad and give a
Nachas Ruach to the
Almighty Creator, would we
sell it? No!
So we are winning millions every
time we walk in the street and guard
our eyes!
We
should be dancing through the
streets!
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161. |
Some Teachings From Rabbi
Nachman
In Likutei Moharan II:48, Rebbe
Nachman writes that every movement
that brings a person out of
physicality and closer to God is
"very precious." If a person
progresses even a minute amount, in
the higher world he has traversed
huge distances.
Since a person's spiritual level is
not static, in addition to being
able to elevate ourselves, we are in
danger of falling. It's important to
learn to deal with that possibility
and to do everything in our power to
assure that if we do fall, we will
not exceed the minimal boundaries
set by the Torah. At the same time,
when we fall, we must never lose
hope of elevating ourselves to
higher levels, and even surpassing
our previous levels. Very
often, a decline is preparation for
a significant ascent, as
Rebbe Nachman and Reb Nosson often
remind us in their writings.
If a person failed to break his fall
in time and has transgressed clear
prohibitions, he must be prepared to
deal even with this. In Likutei
Moharan II:12, Rebbe Nachman tells
us that when one is in the lowest of
depths, stuck in the mire, he has a
special opportunity to find the
highest levels of holiness which are
hidden there - but only if he is
firmly resolved to search for God.
Not only is despair pointless, it
can also lead to falling to further
depths. But how can anyone escape
despair when he understands the
seriousness of these moral
transgressions? How can a person not
despair when the Zohar (219b) states
that repentance does not help when
it comes to the sin of Er and Onan?
Rebbe Nachman states (Sichot Haran
71) that the Zohar should not be
understood literally. Repentance
always helps, and the main
thing is not to repeat one's wrong
doing.
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162. |
Autobiography in Five
Chapters
I will remember this
"Autobiography in Five Chapters"
to help me stay on track.
Chapter 1: I walk down the
street. There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk. I don't see it. I fall in.
It isn't my fault. It takes a long
time to figure out how to get out of
the hole.
Chapter 2: I walk down the
same street. There is a deep hole in
the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see
it. I fall in again. I can't believe
I am in the same place. But it isn't
my fault. It takes a long time to
get out.
Chapter 3: I walk down the
same street with my eyes wide open.
There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk. I see it. I fall in. It's
my fault. I get out immediately.
Chapter 4: I walk down the
same street. There is a deep hole in
the sidewalk. I walk around it.
Chapter 5: I walk down a
different street.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let's ask ourselves: Which chapter
we are up to now?
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163. |
What's the Use?
Sometimes a person feels low and Emunah seems
out of reach. In such a state, the Yetzer
Hara can say to a person, "What use is
it for you to be strong and hold
yourself back from falling into sin, you
anyway feel so far from G-d and you
anyway don't have any Emunah or
purity of heart!"
The
Ba'al Hasulam, a great Kabbalist,
was famous for trying to teach people
how to serve Hashem Lishma (with
the purest of intentions). However, he
once said that "as great as we can
imagine it is to serve Hashem
Lishma,
the doing of Torah and Mitzvos without
ANY pure intentions whatsoever is still
a lot greater!" In other words, no
matter how far our imagination could
possibly stretch to visualize the
greatness of true
Lishma and
how precious it is in G-d's eyes, the
Sheloh
Lishma, i.e. doing the Mitzvos even
without any Emunah, -
is still greater - in Hashem's Eyes -
than that!
How can this be? The rationale behind
this is that Hashem has great pleasure
when "work"
(yegiyah)
is exerted by a human being to do
his Mitzvos, even without any thought or
belief. Simply "doing" Hashem's will is
already infinitely precious!
So let's not be fooled by the Yetzer
Hara who tells us that staying holy is
worthless since our thoughts are
anyway impure and our Emunah is
weak! For it is more precious to Hashem
than we can possibly imagine, for us to
simply do his will even without any
intentions at all!
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164. |
Diamonds
Sometimes it seems to work in cycles; we
feel strong for a while and then we
start to lose the strength to guard our
eyes, and sometimes it can take time
until we get that strength back. But
remember, every time we pass a test,
every time we overcome the downward part
of this cycle, G-d puts away a diamond
in his treasure chest for us. And he
might even give us a break for a while
where we feel strong. But G-d doesn't
want us to have just one diamond. After
all, if we passed one test and were
done, we may as well pass away from the
world! But G-d gives us 120 years here
because we can accomplish so much with
each of these cycles. So after a while,
He often makes us lose everything and we
need to start over from the beginning
again so we can keep getting diamonds.
He suddenly makes us feel as if we have
never worked on ourselves before and we
need to find new strengths to overcome
the downward spin. This is G-d's way, so
that we keep working and earning,
putting away bit by bit and ultimately
doing great things, for ourselves, for
G-d and for the entire universe!
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165. |
What
we are drawn after in this world, we
will be drawn after in the next
world.
Zohar Vayera:
Rebbe Aba opened and said, (Tehilim
24:3)
"Who will go up on the mountain of
Hashem and who will stand in his holy
place?" Come and see, all the
people of the world do not see on what
they exist in this world, and the days
go by and rise before Hakadosh Baruch Hu;
all the days that a man exists in this
world. For all of them (the days) were
created, and they all exist above. From
where do we learn that they were
created? For it says (Tehilim 139:16)
"Yamim Yatzaru
- days were created". And when it
comes time for a person to leave this
world, all his days come close to (come
before) the King on High, as it says (Melachim
1:2)
"And the days of Dovid came close to
die", (and in Bereishis 47:29)
"and
the days of Yisrael came close to die".
Because when a person is in this world,
he does not pay attention and he does
not look upon what he exists in this
world, rather each and every day is
considered as if it passed in emptiness.
For when the soul goes out of this
world, it doesn't know on what path they
will lead it. For the path to go up to
the place where the high souls shine, is
not given to all souls. For the same way
that a person was drawn in this world,
so is the soul drawn after in the next
world, and to there it is pulled after
the soul leaves him (the body). Come and
see. If a person was pulled after
Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and his desires were
after Hashem in this world, then when
the soul leaves him, it is pulled after
Him (Hashem), and they give the soul a
path to rise up above, after the same
pull that this person was drawn to
through his desire, each day upon this
world.
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166. |
The coming few e-mails will quote some
excerpts from the new book by Rebbetzin
Tziporah Heller and Sara Yoheved Rigler:
"Battle Plans: How to Fight the
Yetzer Hara"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Tuesdays a month, the Israel Defense
Forces conducts induction ceremonies in
the Kotel Plaza. The novice soldiers,
outfitted in their spanking new
uniforms, stand in line as their proud
parents look on. Each one is issued a
Bible and a gun.
Birth into this world is actually an
induction as a soldier. As the great
sage Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato stated:
"In truth a person is put into the
middle of a raging war." The uniform is
the human body, the Bible is the wisdom
of Torah, and the gun is the inner
weapons needed to fight this war.
Some of us are born warriors; others
prefer to pursue peace. Whatever our
disposition, however, we must recognize
that life in this world is an ongoing
battle, and the enemy is the force of
darkness, negativity, and selfishness,
called in Hebrew the "yetzer hara." Our
battle assignment is to scale the
mountain of lofty thoughts, words, and
actions. The yetzer hara's job, assigned
by God, is to pull us down into the
ravines of depressed thoughts,
condemning words, and depraved actions.
The very name "Yisrael" was conferred on
our forefather Yaakov by the angel of
darkness after a night-long battle. That
struggle against evil is the prototype
of the life of every Jew. In this world,
our choice is not between war and peace,
but only between victory and defeat.
THE
YETZER HARA'S SECRET CODE
Defeating the enemy requires more than
superior strength and strategy. For
example, everyone knows the military
strategy by which Israel won the Six Day
War. Israeli fighter jets, flying below
the tracking altitude of Egyptian radar,
attacked and destroyed Egypt's entire
air force on the ground in the first
hour of the war. Few people know that
Egypt could have totally avoided defeat
had one bungling sergeant known how to
decode an incoming message.
That morning Egyptian intelligence at a
radar station in northern Jordan did
indeed pick up the scrambling Israeli
aircraft. They sent a red alert message
to the bunker of the Egyptian Supreme
Command in Cairo. At that point, Egypt
would have had enough time to get its
planes off the ground and into the air
and thus save them, but the sergeant on
duty in the decoding room attempted to
decipher the red alert using the
previous day's code. His failure to
properly decode the message led to
catastrophe for his country.
Army intelligence is as important to the
Israel Defense Forces as its elite
combat units. Intelligence includes,
among other things, intercepting the
enemy's communications and then properly
decoding them. The most crack combat
unit in the world cannot win a battle if
intelligence fails to appraise it of the
enemy's plans and strategies.
In the same way, we cannot hope to
defeat the yetzer hara without
intelligence: becoming aware of the
enemy's strategy and properly decoding
its messages.
Tomorrow we will discuss the Yetzer
Hara's Secret Code Be"H.
Click on the book to preorder your
copy Today!
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167. |
In today's e-mail we quote some excerpts
from the new book by Rebbetzin Tziporah
Heller and Sara Yoheved Rigler:
"Battle Plans: How to Fight the
Yetzer Hara"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continued from yesterday....
We cannot hope to defeat the yetzer hara
without intelligence: be coming aware of
the enemy's strategy and properly
decoding its messages. The Maharal of
Prague [1520-1609] starts his treatise
on "The Power of the Yetzer Hara" by
breaking the code of the yetzer hara's
messages to us. This enemy is always
characterized by hunger and thirst, that
is, by lack. It is the voice inside each
of us that carps on lack.
The message of the yetzer hara is
always: "You don't have what you need."
This encoded message has a thousand
different versions:
- I don't have a spouse, so of
course I'm depressed.
- I have a husband, but he's not
emotionally sensitive to me.
- I have a wife, but she doesn't
keep the house neat enough.
- I don't have children, so I
can't get on with my life.
- I have children, but they have
learning disabilities.
- My child won't be accepted to a
good college.
- My daughter desperately needs to
get married.
- I don't have enough money to buy
a house.
- I have a house, but it's too
small.
- The house is big enough, but I
desperately need a new kitchen.
- The house is too big for me to
clean by myself; I need household
help.
- I don't have a job that pays
enough. I have a lucrative job, but
I don't have the kind of boss I
need.
The Maharal reveals the secret that
statements of lack are a code and the
dispatcher is always the yetzer hara.
BATTLE PLAN #1: IDENTIFY THE
VOICE OF THE YETZER HARA
Whenever you hear your inner voice
complaining about what you lack, go
on high alert and assume battle
position. You are under the attack
of the yetzer hara.
This does not mean that you can't
have legitimate wants: to get
married, to have children, to own a
home, to work at a good job. In
fact, most of the blessings of the
daily Amidah prayer are requests --
for healing, livelihood, redemption,
etc. These blessings must be
accompanied by genuine yearning.
You cross the line and start working
for the enemy, however, when you
heed the yetzer's commands instead
of God's. For example, if you find
yourself complaining about or
leveling hurtful criticisms at your
spouse, or speaking badly about your
children, boss, or coworkers, you
have fallen into the hands of the
enemy. The feeling, "I don't have
what I need," leads to many sins, as
the yetzer hara offers you more and
more blandishments to satisfy your
needs by means that violate the
Torah.
Tomorrow we will discuss Battle Plan
#2, Be"H.
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168. |
In today's e-mail we quote some excerpts
from the new book by Rebbetzin Tziporah
Heller and Sara Yoheved Rigler:
"Battle Plans: How to Fight the
Yetzer Hara"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday we discussed how the
Yetzer Hara is characterized by
lack
(the voice inside each of us that
carps on lack), and we discussed
Battle Plan #1.
BATTLE PLAN #2:
"EVERYTHING I NEED I HAVE"
The best armor to protect
yourself from the yetzer's
attack is the attitude,
"Everything I need, I have
(because God provided
everything)." Indeed, this
is the meaning of the
blessing we say every
morning thanking God
"Who provided me my every
need." At the time
you recite this blessing and
throughout the day, you
should feel that, at this
moment, you have everything
you need. This does not
preclude wanting things in
the future, but a bedrock
belief in God's goodness and
kindness to you at this very
moment is the best battle
stance against the yetzer
hara.
You achieve this attitude by
shifting your focus from
what you don't have to what
you do have. We are familiar
with the automatic rifle
carried at all times by
Israeli soldiers: the M16.
To fight the yetzer hara of
lack we must carry
one of two weapons: the
G(Gratitude)16 and the G17.
The G16
To use the G16, stop
obsessing on what you don't
have and refocus your
thoughts on the details of
what you do have:
- You may not yet be
married, but you do have
many of the components
necessary to live a life
of meaning, such as good
friends and an
interesting job. Take
time to think about and
be grateful for each one
of your friends and the
specific plusses of your
job.
- You may need knee
replacement surgery, but
your eyes and ears work
just fine. Take time to
think about and be
grateful for all the
complex gifts of vision
and hearing, which allow
you to achieve the most
significant goals that
you have set for
yourself.
- You may not have a
large enough house for
your family, but you are
blessed with children.
Take time to think about
and be grateful for the
special qualities of
each one of your
children. Each one is an
entire universe.
- You may not have a
pleasant job with
amiable coworkers and a
reasonable boss, but you
do get a paycheck every
week. Take time to think
about and to be grateful
for everything your
paycheck pays for, and
how your job and your
paycheck enable you to
be a giver, as God is a
giver.
On
Sunday we will IY"H discuss the
"G17"
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169. |
In today's e-mail we quote some excerpts
from the new book by Rebbetzin Tziporah
Heller and Sara Yoheved Rigler:
"Battle Plans: How to Fight the
Yetzer Hara"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BATTLE PLAN #2:
"EVERYTHING I NEED I HAVE"
To fight the yetzer hara
- which carps on "lack",
we must carry one of two
weapons: the
G(Gratitude)16 and the
G17. In the last e-mail
we discussed the G16,
which works when we stop
obsessing on what we
don't have and
refocus our thoughts on
the details of what we
do have. Today we
will discuss the "G17".
The "G17"
The weapon G17 works like
the precision missiles the
Israeli air force uses to
target particular terrorist
leaders in the Gaza Strip.
It can destroy a third floor
apartment without damaging
anything on the fourth and
second floors. The G17 is a
very sophisticated weapon.
While the G16 involves
shifting your focus from
what you don't have to what
you do have, the G17 ferrets
out the blessing hidden
within the lack itself.
- You may not have a
spouse, but your single
status allows you its
own unique avenues for
your spiritual
expression. In fact,
because you are not yet
married, you have the
time to nurture yourself
and others spiritually
and materially in ways
you won't have time to
do later when you have a
family.
- You may not be
healthy, but your
illness may engender
what you most want: a
closer relationship with
God and with the people
you love the most.
Illness can bring about
positive changes in your
character and spiritual
growth. Dr. Rahamim
Melamed-Cohen avers that
the years since he was
stricken with Lou
Gehrig's Disease and
became completely
paralyzed have been the
best years of his life
from the standpoint of
inner growth.
- You may not have
children, but you do
have a spouse and the
time to devote yourself
to your marriage and to
that area that may in
fact be your true
mission in life. Witness
the accomplishments of
Rabbi Yaakov Moshe and
Chaya Sara Kramer as
described in Holy Woman.
Focusing on what you have
rather than what you don't
have is a foolproof weapon
against the yetzer hara.
Utter the formula,
"Everything I need, I have
(because God provided
everything)," feel joy and
gratitude to God, and
you've won the battle.
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170. |
Hashem will do it for you, just keep
moving!
Don't think you can win the battle
against the evil inclination on your
own, you can't. But the good news is, if
you trust in G-d and just keep moving
forward, he will do it for you.
When the Jews stood near the red sea
with the Egyptians close behind them and
they cried out to G-d, G-d said to Moses
"Ma Titzak Alai, Daber el Bne yisrael
Ve'yisa'u-
For what do you cry out to me? Tell the
Children of Israel to go forward!"
The
sefarim explain that G-d was
saying, "Leave what's up to me
up to
me. You just
go
forward!". In other words, when
it comes to truly breaking free of "Mitzrayim"
once and for all, it is G-d who
ultimately fights these battles for us.
We just have to put our full trust in
him and move forward - like Nachshon,
who went into the sea until his neck -
and then G-d did the rest.
"Hashem Yilachem Lachem, Ve'atem
Tacharishun
- G-d will fight for you, and you shall
be silent".
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171. |
The
Ohr Hachayim
Hakadosh
In honor of his Yartziet today, 15
Tamuz
There's
a fundamental and elementary piece from
the holy Ohr Hachayim that gives a clear
perspective on the powerful nature of
these desires, and helps us understand how Hashem
expects us to remain holy in spite of it
being against human nature. In honor of
his
Yartzeit, I would like to bring
this Ohr Hachayim in a few stages in the
coming e-mails. To see the original text
in Hebrew, click
here (the
important parts are marked in yellow,
and the VERY important parts in red).
Ohr Hachayim (Acharei Mos, 18:2)
Part 1
It is known that all the Mitzvos that
Hashem commanded his holy nation are
Mitzvos that a man can stand by and
bring within himself a desire to do
them, besides for the Mitzva of staying
away from arayos (illicit
sexual relations) which is something
that a person craves and his desires
force him to act, unless one makes an
effort to stay far away from two things:
(1) Seeing with the eyes and (2)
Thinking about it. However, if a person
does not keep away from these two
aspects (sight and thought), a man will
not be able to control himself and rid
himself of it (the desire).
As long as one does not stay away from looking,
even if he stays away from thinking
about it, he will not be able to control
himself and rid himself of the
inevitable desire. As we can see from
the story of R' Amram - the Rebbe of all
Chassidim (Kidushin 81a), that even
though he was far from thinking about
these things, he was won over by the
aspect of "sight" (to see the full story
of Rav Amram see Chizuk e-mail #275 on this
page). And we can also see this from
the story of Reb Masya Ben Charash (Yalkut
Shimoni; Veyechi) who chose to blind
himself when he felt that he would be
forced to come to bad deeds through the
sight of his eyes, even though he was
surely far from thinking of these things
- as is clear in the story (see the
story in Chizuk e-mail #46 on this
page).
And if one does not distance himself
from thinking about
these things, his thoughts will also
force him to seek out and lust after the
deed. As we can see from the story in
the Gemara (Avodah Zara 22b) of a
non-Jew who bought a thigh of meat in
the market place, cut into it and used
it to pleasure himself, and then cooked
it and ate it. This comes from being
steeped in the aspect of "thought" which
forced him to do these deeds even
without seeing anything.
So we see that with either of these two
aspects, sight or thought, it becomes
close to impossible for a person to
control himself in this area. And it
goes without saying that if one looks
AND thinks about these things, he will
be very weak when facing this desire.
And it also goes without saying, that if
one actually begins to taste from the
bad, he will be completely given over
into the hands of his desires.
(To be
continued in the coming e-mails, IY"H).
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172. |
The
Ohr Hachayim
Hakadosh
We
continue below the insightful piece from
the holy Ohr Hachayim that we started in
yesterday's e-mail, in honor of his
Yartzeit. The Ohr hachayim explains the
powerful nature of these desires and
helps us understand how Hashem expects
us to remain holy in spite of it being
against human nature. To see the
original text in Hebrew, click
here (the important parts are marked
in yellow, and the VERY important parts
in red).
In
response to our e-mail yesterday, Rabbi
Avraham J. Twerski wrote me the
following:
I don't know how safe it is to
visit the Ohr Hachaim's kever on
Har Hazesim today, but in the
olden days I used to go there.
If one can, it is a segula to
read
this section at the kever
and ask that in his zechus
Hashem should help.
Twerski
Ohr
Hachayim (Acharei Mos, 18:2)
Part
2
And the only way that a man can wage war
with this powerful desire is by removing
from himself these two aspects (improper
sights and lustful thoughts). And by
doing this, one instills within himself
that he should not lust after this, and
he will be able to control his natural
desires. And this is the reason that
Chaza"l say (Brachos 34b) "In
the place that Balei Teshuvah stand,
even the completely righteous cannot
stand". For the natural good will
of the completely righteous wins over
their desires without great effort,
which is not the case with a Ba'al
Teshuvah.
And if one should ask,
"How
can a natural person be in control of
his desires which "force" him to act?
After all, it does not make sense that
Hashem would obligate all men equally to
guard themselves in this area, only
people who can stand up and have the
will power to deny this desire; and
these are people who never came into the
tests of seeing improper sights and
thinking lustful thoughts. Only for
such
people did the Torah command these
Mitzvos. But for people who already fell
into these things, it is naturally
impossible for a man to control himself
and hold back from this craving that
forces him to act!"
To counter this claim Hashem wrote in
the Torah with pleasant words of life,
and the Parsha of Arayos starts
out with the words "Speak
to the Children of Israel and say to
them, I am Hashem your G-d". For
it is true that in the human race,
besides for the Jewish people, they can
claim this complaint and say that they
did not find it in their strength to
deny the power of this intense desire
from themselves. However, with you, the
Children of Israel, because I am Hashem
your G-d - that is, you can achieve
understanding and awareness of G-d - and
through this G-dly strength,
you will
win over the natural physical drives.
(To be
continued in the coming e-mail, IY"H).
Note:
The Ohr Hachayim touches here on the
"core" of the 12-Step program, that for
those who have already become "addicted"
to these behaviors, they are powerless
to overcome it without bringing G-d into
the picture.
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173. |
The
Ohr Hachayim
Hakadosh
We
finish below the insightful piece from
the holy Ohr Hachayim that we started in
e-mail 170 [and continued in 171]. The
Ohr hachayim explains the powerful
nature of these desires and helps us
understand how Hashem expects us to
remain holy in spite of it being against
human nature. To see the original text
in Hebrew, click
here (the important parts are marked
in yellow, and the VERY important parts
in red). The Hebrew text can be printed
out and read at your leisure.
Ohr
Hachayim (Acharei Mos, 18:2)
Part
3
The mind can control the matter. So when
a Jewish person accepts upon himself to
be "one" with Hashem his G-d (di'veikus),
he will be in control of his nature. As
Chazal say, "The
hearts of the Tzadikim are given over in
their hands, but the hearts of Resha'im
control them". The meaning of
this is, that desire and lust are in the
heart of a man, yet his "will power" is
in his mind. And these are the two
levels that the Master of the World has
given man (to work with). And when a
person sees something of a sexual
nature, his heart will crave it, but
this is not the end. The "will power" in
his mind can deny himself the desire and
he will not act upon it, even though he
covets it... And that is the meaning of
the words "For
I am Hashem your G-d" (in the
Parsha of
Arayos).
This means to say, that since Hashem
shines the light of his
Shechinah into the soul of a man,
through this, one has the strength to
win over his desires through his will
power...
To return to what we were saying... The
aspect of thinking about sexual matters
strengthens the desire. And one cannot
win over this desire unless he distances
his mind and thoughts from these things
and does not look upon these things. But
should his eyes gaze upon them, he is in
grave danger, like the story of David
Hamelech A"H, that when circumstance
brought him to see what he saw, his
heart, which had been empty of desire
(as the Pasuk says
"and my
heart is empty inside me") was
aroused and he acted.
And even if one just "begins" to think
about these things, it will cause a
strengthening of his natural desires.
And therefore the wisest of all men,
Shlomo Hamelech A"H wrote in Mishlei
(1); "My
son, if the sins will persuade you, do
not listen" - meaning, do not
even enter into negotiations with your
Yetzer Hara, for the longer you think
about it, even in a negative light, the
more the desire is strengthened and will
turn one's will towards it.
And this is also why Hashem says; "Tell
them that I am Hashem their G-d",
because (those who guard the Bris) are
on such a level that Hashem wants to
unify his great name upon them. For he
who guards his Bris is on a great level.
Indeed,
there is no greater level than this.
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174. |
Tzama Lecha Nafshi
Sometimes a person may be taking a
walk or laying in bed and lustful
thoughts start to fill his head and
it seems like he can't control it.
At such a time, cry out to Hashem
and say "Please Hashem, save me from
lust, which is filling my head and
heart! Please rid me of these
thoughts and desires, for they are
tormenting me! I want to love
you
instead, Hashem:
"Tzama lecha nafshi, Kama lecha
besari
- My soul thirsts for you, my flesh
pines for you, Oh Lord."
You will be amazed at how powerful
prayer is.
Put
your trust in G-d and you
will suddenly feel a relief from
these thoughts.
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175. |
Think about how precarious life it. Just
one cut from a knife, one wrong turn of
the steering wheel, and all our
body's desires, fantasies and cravings
can be
ended in one instant.
If our body is so feeble, should we
waste away our lives giving in to its
petty whims and instincts,
thereby losing touch with the
Omnipresent G-d and eternal nature of
the soul?
Let's make a run for the ETERNAL!
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176. |
Rabboisai, it is approximately
40 days until Elul...
The act of creation in the forming
of the fetus is completed in 40
days, and this manifests many times
in scientific reality as well as in
the spiritual reality. (For example,
Moshe received the Torah from G-d in
40 days). When a person wishes to
distance himself from a bad habit,
the first forty days will always be
the hardest, it is during this time
that he paves a path.
When a person wishes to gain control
over his eyes, his hardest struggle
will be during the first 40 days as
he plows his path through the
spirits of impurity. After the first
40 days a person has passed a large
milestone and although he is far
from safe, the overall test has just
become easier. This does not mean
that he will not be tested
periodically from time to time, it
means that he has made a nice
separation between himself and his
past ways.
The
Tzetel Katan of Rav Elimelech of
Lizensk states as follows:
A person was only created in order
to break his nature. Therefore he
should spur himself to correct his
midos. Specifically when he is 18.
As I have explained, one who is born
with the nature to be stubborn,
should break this nature for
40
days, one after another. He
should specifically do the opposite
from what he had in mind to do.
The same is if one is lazy. He
should train himself for
40
days to do everything
swiftly. Whether he is going to
sleep, or rising in the morning from
his bed. He should quickly dress
himself, wash his hands, purify his
body and speedily go to the Beis
HaKnesses after he has finished
learning in a sefer.
Similarly someone who is shy, from a
shyness that is bad. He should train
himself
40
days to pray with a loud
voice, with all his strength, and
with all his limbs in order to
fulfill the verse, 'All my bones
say...' And he should say the
blessing over the Torah with a loud
voice. [All this] he should do until
from Heaven they will help him and
remove this bad shyness that is in
him.
The same is with the one who does
not clearly say his words. He should
train himself for
40
days to listen carefully to
the words he says. [This is the
case] whether speaking common things
or words of prayer or when he is
learning Torah. The reason for this
is that one is ruled over by those
things he is used to do.
The same is with the person who does
not learn diligently. He should
train himself for
40
days to learn more then he is
used to learning. Every time before
he learns he should look at this Tzetel
Katon. From this time on, he
will be helped from heaven and he
will add to his service and break
his bad midos until he attains
perfection.
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177. |
Here is a wonderful piece to think
of when faced with a spiritual
challenge.
A well known speaker started off
his seminar by holding up a $20
dollar bill. In the room of 200,
he asked, "who would like this
$20 dollar bill?" hands started
going up.
He said," I am going to give this
$20 to one of you but first, let me
do this. He proceeded to crumple up
the $20 dollar bill. He then asked
,"Who still wants it?" still the
hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, "What if I do
this?" and he dropped it on the
ground and started to grind it into
the floor with his shoe. He picked
it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now, who still wants it?" still the
hands were into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a
very valuable lesson. No matter what
I did to the money, you still wanted
it because it did not decrease in
value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are
dropped, crumpled, and ground into
the dirt by the decisions we make
and the circumstances that come our
way. We feel as though we are
worthless. But no matter what has
happened or what will happen, YOU
WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR VALUE. Dirty or
clean, crumpled or finely creased,
you are still priceless to those who
DO LOVE YOU. The worth of our lives
comes not in what we do or who we
know, but WHO WE ARE. You are
special - Don't EVER forget it.
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178. |
If you look at the reward for doing
a mitzvah as compared to the rewards
for not doing an aveirah, we come to
a startling realization. No matter
how many mitzvot we do, it can never
add up to the amount of
"lo taaseys" we did not do.
Every moment or half a moment or
quarter of a moment, etc... that we
don't do an aveira when we
have the opportunity, we have the
reward for not falling to the
lo taasey!
Bottom line the "test" of Shmiras
HaEinayim is our opportunity to not
only fill our spiritual "account"
with endless reward - but on a
higher level, to bring ourselves and
ALL OF AM YISROEL closer to HaKadosh
Baruch Hu!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Download
Rabbi Miller's "eye-opening"
Shmiras Einayim Shiur.
(Right click the word "Download"
and choose "Save Link/Target
As")
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179. |
G-d is like a Story Teller who loves
beautiful stories. Very often in
life we are given situations where
there are no clear cut paths before
us. G-d does this purposefully to
see the beautiful stories that we
humans will weave with our deepest
emotions and with our love for
him... Not everyone is worthy of
living a life that G-d considers a
beautiful story. But we create these
stories with our hearts.
All the members of this chizuk-list
who are on the journey to purity in
today's crazy world, are already in
the middle of a beautiful story of
self-sacrifice and of going
against the odds for the love of
G-d. Our daily struggles make up the
words of this beautiful story. And
each time we get up again after a
slip, another chapter is added.
May G-d give us the strength to
make our stories all come to a
happy ending!
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180. |
Rabbi/Dr
Yitzchak Twersky from Jerusalem once
described to me his approach in helping
people deal with these difficult issues
in today's world.
Our sages call the fight with the evil
inclination "Milchemes Hayetzer" which
means "a war with one's inclination".
They don't call it an "argument" or a
"fight" with the inclination, but rather
a "war". What we can learn from this is
that military tactics are necessary in
the struggle with the evil inclination.
In a war, if the other side is stronger
and you do battle face to face, you will
surely lose. The terrorists world-wide
have learned this lesson well. They know
that they stand no chance against the
great armies of the West. So how are
they so successful in creating upheavals
and overthrowing great and powerful
governments? Guerilla warfare. They
don't do battle face to face with
powerful armies. They know that if they
did that they would be slaughtered.
Instead, they learn their enemies weak
points and where their enemy is going to
be at set times, and they pre-empt them.
They spy on the enemy, learn their
tactics and fight them where the enemy
is vulnerable. They ambush the enemy
before the enemy has a chance to realize
what has happened. That is their secret
to success.
The same theory applies to fighting the
evil inclination. He is stronger than
us, and if we fight him head on we don't
stand a chance. Instead we need to
employ Guerilla tactics. We start by
asking ourselves, "how has the evil
inclination/addiction been so successful
until today? How does he get me to fall?
In what ways does my mind think in the
various situations that I find myself
in? In what habitual ways have I learned
to scan my surroundings? How is my mind
used to thinking and processing
information? In which scenarios do I
slip most often, in what moods am I in,
in what situations do I start to slip?"
Once we learn the way the evil
inclination works with us, we can start
to pre-empt him. We can prevent him from
fighting us head on. We now realize how
he has been so successful until now and
in what ways he used to get us to fall,
and we start to avoid those situations.
We can already predict in advance the
way our minds will think in given
scenarios, and we can be ready for it.
We learn to make fences for ourselves to
avoid head-on fights.
This is a powerful approach to winning
this difficult battle.
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181. |
What we "Feel"
vs. Reality
The Vilna Goan says something that's
very important to know. He writes
that what a person says he wants,
and even what he feels he
wants, has no relation to what
he actually wants. The Yetzer Hara
was given permission by Hashem to
make a person feel that they want
something they really don't.
The Vilna Goan also says that the
same idea applies to what a
person feels they can or can't do. The reality has
no relation to what the
person thinks - or even feels - that
he can or can't achieve. [This is
because the reality belongs
to G-d. Our own estimates of our
strengths and abilities don't affect
G-d's ability].
So never give in to what the Yetzer
Hara makes you believe you want,
because you really don't want it.
And never say "I can't achieve real
purity in these areas" even if it
looks so hard. For
nothing is hard for G-d. So
give your heart over to him and
He'll do the hard work for you.
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182. |
"Ve'ahavta Es Hashehm Elokecha
Bechol Levavcha
- and you should love Hashem your
G-d with all your heart". We
say it a few times a day, but in
what ways are we able to show that
we love G-d? Yes, we daven, we learn
Torah, we give some Tzedaka, but
let's be honest with ourselves, do
we really think that we fulfill "to
love G-d with all your heart"
sufficiently with these mitzvos?
How many of these Mitzvos do we do
out of rote or because people expect
it of us? And even if not, how much
heart do we really put into the
mitzvos to be able to call
them "loving G-d with all your
heart"?
So how indeed can we really show G-d
that we love him? How can we truly
fulfill that which we say a few
times every day? The answer is
Purity. That's the area where we
truly need to give our hearts to
G-d. How we guard our eyes and
thoughts is hidden, nobody knows
about it. We aren't doing it for
anyone else. And it's not easy. For
some of us, the struggle is very
real and it requires truly giving
our hearts to G-d.
But when we realise this,
especially those who struggle in
this area more than others, we need
to actually
thank G-d that He has given
us this opportunity that not
everyone has, to learn how to
fulfill the Mitzva to truly love
Him.
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183. |
Humility: ADAM - BASAR
The Gemara in Sotah writes that
someone who is haughty is likely to
fall into the sin of adultry. The
Gemara goes on to discuss the
humility that we should feel
and writes that the acronym for ADAM
(Man) is "Afar", "Dam" & "Mara",
meaning "Dust", "Blood" & "Bile",
and the acronym for BASAR (Flesh)
is "Busha", "Shaul" & "Rima", meaning
"Shame", "Borrowed" & "Worms" (our
flesh is borrowed, since one day it
must return to the dust).
When feeling lust for flesh, it may
be helpful to remember this Gemara.
Not only can the resulting humility
save us from sin, but the actual
lust itself should melt away when
one realizes that
he
is nothing but dust, blood and bile,
and he is
desiring nothing but
"borrowed, shame, to be eaten by
worms".
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184. |
Really Want it? It's yours.
The
Ba'al Hasulam writes that in
physical matters, we are not given
everything we desire because Hashem
knows what is truly good for us or
not... But in spiritual matters, the
moment someone
truly
wants to reach a spiritual level,
G-d gives it to them. And the reason is
simple. G-d's light is always shining.
He only wants our good. But we have to
be a
vessel to accept his light. To be
a vessel means to "truly want it" with
all our heart. In spiritual matters, the
moment we truly want it and have the
vessel for it, the light shines right
in!
Purity in today's world is a tremendous
spiritual achievement, but it is not
easy. However, it's not the purity which
is difficult, it's "truly wanting it"
that's difficult. For after all, the
moment someone truly wants it, G-d gives
it to him. We all know that it's easy to
say "I want to be holy and have complete
control over my eyes", but to
honestly
want to let go of all the lust that
lurks in our deepest subconscious mind,
only G-d knows if we
truly
want that.
So what do we do if we just don't want
it enough?
Prayer, Prayer and
more
Prayer.
"Poseach Es Yadecha Umasbiah Lechol Chai
Ratzon". One way of translating
this Pasuk is "You open your hands and
bestow WILL-POWER
(Ratzon) on all living things".
G-d is not just the source of the light,
he is also ultimately the one to make us
into a true vessel to
receive his light.
So pray to G-d to
WANT it. We can tell Him how we
don't feel enough in our deepest
subconscious mind a true need to be pure
and close to Him. We can ask him to open
our hearts to
truly
want this.
And the moment we
really
want it, it's ours!
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185. |
Some Excerpts From
the Zohar
Part 1
Zohar, Bereshit 8a
Rav Hamnuna the Elder said this: "Do not
let thy mouth cause thy flesh to sin," (Kohelet,
5:5.) A man should not allow his mouth
to utter words that may bring him to
lustful thoughts, and thus cause his
holy flesh, on which is stamped the holy
Brit, to sin. For whoever does this is
dragged into Gehinom. The one presiding
over Gehinom is called Duma, and there
are tens of thousands of angels of
destruction with him. He stands at the
door of Gehinom. But all of those who
have guarded the holy covenant of the
Brit in this world, he is impotent to
harm them.
Zohar, Bereshit 94a
Another began his exposition by
referring to the verse, "Unless the L-rd
had been my help, my soul would have
soon dwelt in (Duma) silence,(Tehillim,
94:17.) We have learned: what is the
special merit of Israel that they do not
go down to Gehinom, and are not
delivered into the hands of Duma (the
angel in charge of Gehinom) like the
idol worshipping nations? The reason is
that they are distinguished by the sign
of the Brit.
For we have learned that when a man
leaves this world, bands of destroying
angels, wielders of fiery judgment,
gather to claim him. But when they
examine him and see that he bears the
sign of the holy Brit upon him, they
flee from him, and he is not delivered
into the hands of Duma, to be cast down
into Gehinom, for whomever falls into
his hands is condemned to punishment
there. Both upper and lower (angels) are
afraid of this sign, and no evil decrees
have dominance over a man if he has
succeeded in safeguarding this sign,
because he is attached to the Name of
the Holy One, Blessed Be He.
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186. |
Excerpts From the
Zohar
Part 2
Zohar Bereshit 94a
Another explained the verse: "And from
my flesh, I shall see G-d," (Iyov,
19:26.) What is the meaning of "And from
my flesh?" It would be more proper to
say, "from my inner essence." However,
"my flesh" is to be understood literally
(as being the place of the Brit), as in
the verse, "and the holy flesh is
removed from thee," (Yirmeyahu, 11:15,)
and also, "and my Brit shall be in your
flesh," (Bereshit, 17:13.)
For thus we have learned: Whenever a man
is stamped with the holy impress of this
sign, through it literally he will
attain his awareness of G-d, because the
holy soul is attached to this place (in
the parallel spiritual world of the
Yesod.)
But if he does not merit this, because
he did not guard this sign, then of him
it is written, "They lose the soul of
G-d," (Iyov, 4:9,) for he did not
properly guard the impress of G-d. If,
however, he guards it, then the
Shechinah does not part from him....
When is the Shechinah established with
him? When he is married, then the sign
enters into its intended place....The
holy soul is attached to this place, and
everything depends on this sign. Thus it
is written, "And from my flesh, I shall
see G-d." This is the perfection of
everything, literally from "my flesh,"
from this very sign. Therefore, how
fortunate are the holy Jewish People who
are attached to the Holy One, Blessed Be
He; fortunate are they in this world and
fortunate in the world to come.
Regarding them it is written: "But you
who cleave to the L-rd your G-d, are
alive every one of you this day," (Devarim,
4:4.)
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187. |
Nekiyus - Cleanliness
Part 1
Excerpted from "Mesillat Yesharim" written
by the holy Kabbalist, Rabbi Moshe
Haim Lutzato. (Translation by Shraga
Silverstein, Feldheim Publishers )
The idea behind the trait of
Cleanliness is that a person be
completely clean of bad traits and
transgressions, not only those which
are recognized as such, but also
those which are rationalized, which,
when we look into them honestly, we
find to be sanctioned only because
of the heart's still being partially
afflicted by lust and not entirely
free of it, so as to incline us
towards a relaxation of standards.
The man who is entirely free of this
affliction, and clean of any trace
of evil which lust leaves behind it,
will come to possess perfectly clean
vision and pure discrimination. He
will not be swayed in any direction
by desire, but will recognize as
evil, and withdraw from every sin
that he committed, though it were
the slightest of the slight....
King David rejoiced in the
possession of this trait and
said, "I will wash my hands in
Cleanliness, and I will go around
your altar, O G-d" (Tehillim, 26:6).
In truth, it befits only him who is
completely clean of any stirring of
sin to behold G-d, the King; for
lacking such Cleanliness one should
be ashamed and disgraced before Him.
As Ezra the Scribe said,"My G-d, I
am ashamed and disgraced to lift, my
G-d, my face to You" (Ezra, 9:6).
Unquestionably, the attainment of
perfection in this trait entails
great labor, for the recognized and
well-known sins are easy to avoid
since their evil is apparent, but
the analysis which Cleanliness
requires is of a most difficult
kind, because the sin involved, as I
have mentioned, is hidden by
rationalization. As our Sages of
blessed memory have said, "The sins
which a man treads underfoot
surround him at the time of
judgment" (Avodah Zarah 18a). And it
was in this connection that they
said, "The majority succumbs to the
sin of theft, a minority to that of
illicit relations, and all of them
to the dust of slander" (Baba Batra
165a).
This trait is certainly difficult to
acquire, for a man's nature is weak.
His heart is easily won over, and he
permits certain things to himself by
utilizing the opportunities for
self-deception that they present.
One who has attained to the trait of
Cleanliness has unquestionably
reached a very high level of
achievement, for he has stood up in
the face of a raging battle and
emerged victorious.
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188. |
Nekiyus - Cleanliness
Part 2
Excerpted from "Mesillat Yesharim" written
by the holy Kabbalist, Rabbi Moshe
Haim Lutzato. (Translation by Shraga
Silverstein, Feldheim Publishers )
We shall now consider the sin of illicit
relations. One who desires to be
completely clean of this sin requires no
little effort, for its prohibition takes
in not only the act itself, but anything
that approaches it, as Scripture clearly
states: "Do not come near to uncover
nakedness" (Vayikra, 18:6). And our
Sages of blessed memory have said, "The
Holy One Blessed Be He said: Do not say,
'Since I may not have relations with
this woman, I will hold her and be free
of sin, I will hug her and be free of
sin, I will kiss her and be free of
sin.' The Holy One Blessed Be He said,
'Just as when a Nazarite takes a vow not
to drink wine, he is forbidden to eat
grapes or raisins, or to drink grape
juice, or to partake of anything that
comes from the grapevine, so it is
forbidden to touch any woman but your
own wife; and anyone who does touch a
woman other than his wife brings death
to himself'" (Shemot Rabbah, 31:6).
See how wonderful these words are! The
prohibition in the case of illicit
relations is likened to the case of a
Nazarite, where, even though the essence
of the prohibition involves only the
drinking of wine, the Torah forbids him
anything which has any connection to
wine.
By applying this principle to the area
of illicit relations, the Sages
prohibited anything partaking of the
nature of fornication, or anything
approaching it, regardless of the
particular avenue of approach, whether
that of deed, sight, speech, hearing, or
even thought.
Deed:
Namely touching or embracing and the
like. This has already been mentioned
and there is no need to expand upon it.
Sight:
Our Sages of blessed memory have said:
"One who counts coins from his hand to
hers in order to gaze at her will not be
cleansed from Gehinom" (Berachot 61a).
And, "Why did the Jews of that
generation require atonement? Because
they fed their eyes on impurity"
(Shabbat 64a). Also, they said, "It is
written in the Torah, 'And keep yourself
from every evil thing,' meaning a man
should not gaze upon a beautiful woman,
even if she is single, nor upon a
married woman, even if she is ugly" (Avodah
Zarah 20a).
Speech:
It is explicitly stated: "One who
converses at length with a woman draws
evil upon himself" (Avot, 1:5).
Hearing:
"Listening to a woman's singing is
considered licentiousness" (Berachot
24a).
Also talking about and hearing
licentious matters is considered
"fornication of the mouth and ear." On
the verse, "Let there not be seen with
you a thing of nakedness," our Sages
said this means nakedness of speech and
the uttering of obscenities (Yerushami
Terumot 1:4). Also, "Everyone knows why
a bride goes to the wedding canopy, but
anyone who speaks obscenely concerning
it, even a decree of seventy good years
is converted to evil (Shabbat 33a). And,
"Even a casual conversation between a
man and his wife is held up to him at
the time of Judgment (Chagigah 5b).
Thought:
Our Sages of blessed memory have already
said that the verse, "Keep yourself from
every evil thing," means that a man
should not think lewd thoughts in the
daytime and come to impurity at night (Avodah
Zara 20b). Also, "The thoughts behind
the sin are worse than the sin itself" (Yoma
29a).
We see then that all of one's faculties
must be clean of licentiousness and
anything relating to it.
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189. |
Nekiyus - Cleanliness
Part 3
Excerpted from "Mesillat Yesharim" written
by the holy Kabbalist, Rabbi Moshe
Haim Lutzato. (Translation by Shraga
Silverstein, Feldheim Publishers )
Regarding Separation
The rationale of Separation is
epitomized in the words of our Sages of
blessed memory, "Sanctify yourself
through what is permitted to you" (Yevamot
20a).
This is the meaning of the word
separation - separating and withdrawing
from something that is permitted, as if
it were forbidden. The intent is to keep
oneself from that which is forbidden.
The understanding is that a person
should withdraw and separate himself
from anything which might give rise to
something that could bring about evil,
even though it does not bring it about
at the moment, and even though it is not
evil in itself.
If you look into the matter, you will
perceive three different levels:
(1) the forbidden things themselves
(2) their fences (the edicts and
safeguards that our Sages of blessed
memory made binding on all Israel)
(3) the withdrawals that those committed
to Separation must create for themselves
by circumscribing themselves and
building fences for themselves; that is
by abstaining from things which were
permitted, which were nor proscribed to
all Israel, and separating themselves
from them so as to be far removed from
evil.
Don't we have enough
prohibitions?
One might ask, "What basis is there for
multiplying prohibitions? Have our Sages
of blessed memory not said, 'Are the
Torah's prohibitions not enough for you
that you come to create new prohibitions
for yourself?' Have our Sages of blessed
memory in their great wisdom not seen
what was necessary to forbid as a
safeguard; and they have not already
forbidden it? And does it not follow
then that anything they did not
prohibit, they felt should be permitted?
Then why should we now initiate edicts
which they felt no need for? What is
more, there is no limit to this. One
would have to live in desolation and
affliction, deriving no enjoyment
whatsoever from the world, whereas our
Sages of blessed memory have said that a
man will have to give an accounting to
the Almighty for everything that his
eyes beheld and he did not wish to eat,
though permitted and able to do so (Yerushalmi,
Kiddushin, 4:12). They quoted Scripture
in their support, 'Anything my eyes
asked, I did not keep from them'" (Kohelet,
2:10).
The answer to all of these arguments is
that Separation is certainly necessary
and essential. Our Sages of blessed
memory exhorted us concerning it,
explaining the Torah command "Be holy!"
to mean, "Separate yourselves!" (Sifre,
Vayikra, 19:2).... For there is no
worldly pleasure upon whose heels some
sin does not follow. For example, kosher
food and drink are permitted, but over
imbibing causes one to put off the yoke
of Heaven, and the drinking of wine
brings in its wake licentiousness and
other evils....
There is no question as to the
permissibility of cohabitation with
one's wife, but still ablutions were
instituted for those who had had seminal
emissions, so that scholars should not
be constantly with their wives, like
roosters. Even though the act in itself
is permissible, it plants in a person a
lust for it which might draw him on to
what is forbidden; as our Sages of
blessed memory have said, "There is a
small organ in a man which, when it is
satiated, hungers, and which, when it is
made to hunger, is sated" (Sukkah 52b).
And they said about Rabbi Eleazar that
even in the proper hour and the correct
occasion, he would expose a hand-breath
and conceal two hand-breaths, and
imagine that a demon were compelling
him, in order to cancel out the feeling
of pleasure....
The best way for a man to acquire
Separation is to regard the inferior
quality of the pleasures of the world,
both in point of their own
insignificance and in point of the great
evils to which they are prone to give
rise. For what inclines one's nature to
these pleasures to the extent that he
requires so much strength and scheming
to separate himself from them is the
gullibility of his eyes, their tendency
to be deceived by good and pleasing
superficial appearances.
It was this deception that led to the
commission of the first sin. As
Scriptures testifies: "And the woman saw
that the tree was good to eat from and
that it was desirable to the eyes... and
she took of its fruit and ate" (Bereshit,
3:6). But when it becomes clear to a
person that this "good" is deceptive and
illusive, that it has no healthy
permanence, and that it contains real
evil, or is prone to give rise to it, he
will certainly come to despise and
decline it. All that a man need teach
his intelligence then is to recognize
the weakness and falseness of these
pleasures so that he will naturally come
to despise them and find it not at all
difficult to spurn them....
What one must be heedful of in the
process of acquiring Separation is not
to desire to leap to its farthest
reaches in one moment, for he will
certainly not be able to make such great
strides. He should rather proceed in
Separation, little by little, acquiring
a little today and adding a little more
tomorrow, until he is so habituated to
it that it is second nature with him.
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190. |
Uplifting the Thoughts
When Avraham was coming to Mitzrayim
with Sarah, he told her:
"Imri Na Achosi At, Lima'an Yitav Li
Ba'avureich, Ve'chaysah Nafshi
Biglaleich
- Say, please, that you are my
sister, so they should do good for
me, for you, and give me life
because of you".
The Ba'al Shem Tov explains that
this Pasuk is an allusion to what a
Jew is should do when lewd thoughts
come to him... He explains that
improper thoughts come from
the spiritual side of Miztrayim,
which was Shtufai
Zima (flooded with
debauchery). When these thoughts
come to a Jew, he should connect
them to the upper wisdom, which is
called "Achosi
- My
Sister" (like the Pasuk says
"Imri
La'chachma Achosi At"). For
the thoughts of Mitzrayim that
entered his mind only came to him to
be uplifted, and
aderaba, they become
transformed to the service of G-d.
And it's not that these thoughts
came to confuse him and take him
away from the service of G-d, but
rather these thoughts were sent to
him specifically so that he can
uplift them to their root (which is
the love of G-d).
And this is the meaning of the words
that Avraham said
"I will be given life because of
you".
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191. |
"Where Will I Be Tomorrow?"
Chaza"l say; "Repent one day before
you die" which is explained to
mean that one should repent every
day, since no one knows when his day
will come.
When surrounded by all the
illusionary desires of this world,
it is easy to lose sight of our
priorities in life. But one way to
stay strong is to keep
asking ourselves, "Will I be alive
tomorrow? Am I satisfied with my
spiritual progress, that if I should
be called to meet my maker now I
would not be ashamed?"
If we are at least trying to
be better each day, we will not need
to feel such shame when we are
called back to Heaven. But if we are
negligent, G-d forbid, in
guarding our eyes and aren't even
trying to purify ourselves, what
terrible shame we will feel!
So don't leave it for tomorrow.
Start striving for purity
today. Who knows what
tomorrow will bring?
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192. |
"A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step."
... Lao-tzu (Chinese
philosopher)
True Purity in the area of
Shmiras Ainayim and
Shmiras Habris is a great
achievement in today's world, and
for some people it may look very far
off. But take that first step today;
you
will get there in the end!
Every time you say no to the Yetzer
Hara,
no matter how insignificant it seems,
you have taken another step.
Know that if you slip, you don't go
backwards - you are still where you
left off last. Just
get
back up and continue the
journey!
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193. |
IT'S NOT WHAT WE
SEE, IT'S WHAT WE
THINK
A friend of mine told me a story
that happened with him. He is a a
Sefardic man, a Ba'al Teshuvah, who
was sitting and learning Torah for
many years in Kollel. He has a very
strong Emunah and is very humble.
About 12 years ago, he discovered a
hidden Tzadik in Tel Aviv who was
acting as the Gabai of a small Bet
Knesset in the area. This hidden
Tzadik used to bless people who came
to him with Kabbalistic blessings,
but he acted very simple and no one
knew much about him. My friend
became very close to him and
recieved guidance and blessings from
him on a daily basis. This Tzadik could
see on my friend's face if his
thoughts were clean or if he had
sinned that day.
One time my friend was on the bus to
come to his Rav, and an immodestly
dressed woman passed by his field of
vision. He turned away from her but
the image lingered in his mind for a
bit, until he was able to dismiss it
from his thoughts. As soon as he
walked into the Bet Knesset, his Rav
wagged a finger at him. When he went
though his day in his mind and tried
to find in what way he had sinned,
he could not find anything that he
had done that would cause the Rav to
reprimand him. When he asked the Rav
to enlighten him, the Rav told him
that he (my friend) knew what it
was. When he asked if it was the
woman on the bus, the Rav answered
in affirmative and told him that
although he had not sinned by seeing
the woman - since this was not his
fault, however, since he had thought
about her afterwards for a short
time, these thoughts had created a Mazik (a
damaging angel) that was hovering
over him. Therefore, the moment he
had walked into the Bet Knesset, the
Rav had seen this angel and
reprimanded him.
What amazed me the most about this
story is not the lofty vision of his
Rav, but the fact that every
improper thought we have immediately
creates a damaging angel that hovers
over us. And it is not the sight of
an immodest woman that creates this
angel, but rather our subsequent
thoughts.
So when something immodest comes
into our field of vision, don't let
it get you down - it's not our
fault. But we need to be careful to
dismiss any thoughts about it from
our mind and not dwell upon it, for
such thoughts are what are
considered a sin in G-d's eyes, and
they are what create the damaging
angels.
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194. |
The Power of Vows
We all know that using
"vows" is like playing with
"fire". Yet, the Zohar in
Parshas Yisro (on the third
commandment about not
swearing falsely in the name
of G-d) writes:
"A vow to fulfill a
commandment of his Master,
this is a truthful vow (like
someone who swears
truthfully in court), like
it says "Ubishmo
Tishave'ah
-
and in his name you shall
swear".
When the Yetzer Hara is
tempting a man and enticing
him to break a commandment
of his Master (and he vows
to hold himself back), this
is a vow that his Master is
praised through, and indeed
a man must to swear in his
Master's name on this, and
this is his Master's praise,
and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is
praised through him. Like by
Boaz, as it is written "In
the life of the Lord, lay
here until the morning".
Because the Yetzer Hara was
enticing him, and he swore
on this".
When Ruth came to Boaz at
night, he swore in the name
of G-d not to be with her
that night, and he told her
to sleep until the morning.
Even though Boaz was
the greatest Tzaddik of that
generation, he didn't trust
himself without a vow.
Each person knows what they
can / should make vows on,
to protect themselves
against the Yetzer Hara's
enticings, especially
Bein Hazmanim time
(see the
GuardYourEyes Handbook,
Tool #3, the section called
"Bein Hazmanim").
One member wrote about
making vows:
"Because of what you wrote
(in Chizuk e-mail #207 on
this page), I decided to
make a vow not to watch
videos on youtube or similar
sites anymore, for one year.
I find that whenever I
happen on those sites, even
when I want to see something
innocent, I am enticed by
the countless improper
videos that always pop-up
and it's hard to hold myself
back. Thank you for your
great help!"
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195. |
Preparing for Test Times & Test
Zones
If shmiras
ainayim seems so hard
sometimes, let's take a moment
and think about "how
often are we really
tested each day?" Most of us
will find that we have tests in shmiras
ainayim only a few times
a day, for relatively short
periods of time. If we look at
these tests in the context of 24
hours, it's really not that much
of the day that we are being
tested. That alone should gird
us with strength for the times
when we need it.
Also, one of the best strategies
in fighting the Yetzer Hara is
not to be caught off guard. If
we know in advance that these
few times a day are the biggest
tests, it's much easier to deal
with them than if we're hit
with the tests without being
ready. We can anticipate the
tests in advance, and before we
enter the "test zones" we should
encourage ourselves, say a short
prayer and think about our goals
in life. With this strategy, we
will find that 90% of our daily
tests become much easier to deal
with.
This is also another strong
reason to get a fool-proof
Internet filter if we don't have
one yet. Someone who doesn't
have a good filter and works at
the computer is tested in shmiras
ainayim for many hours of
the day, instead of the usual
few minutes here and there that
most of us are tested with each
day. So if you don't have one
yet, get one today!
(Go to
guardyoureyes.org,
and on the title bar at the top,
click on "Tools > Filters" for
many great options!)
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196. |
The
Messiras Nefesh of a
Simple Jew
We think we have it hard with Shmiras
Ainayim and Shmiras
Habris. And sometimes we do.
But read
this article and see the mesirus
nefesh and love for Hashem's
mitzvos of a simple Jew, just 65
years ago.
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197. |
The Gemara in Sotah (9a) says;
"One who puts his eyes on that
which is not his, not only will
he not achieve his desires, but
he will lose even that which he
has."
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We are
commanded to bring the Korban
Tamid in the Beis Hamikdash
twice a day. The Torah uses
the following words;
"zeh ha'ishe asher takrivu
la'hashem -
this is the fire that you
should sacrifice to G-d". And
it says "Olas
Tamid Ho'asuyah Behar Sinai,
lerei'ach nicho'ach ishe la'hashem
-
the Olah Tamid sacrifice
that was made on Har Sinai,
for a pleasing fragnance, a
fire for G-d". The
word
"ishe",which
is used by the Torah, also
means "woman". It could be
that the Torah is hinting to
us that even when we don't
have the Beis Hamikdash any
more, we can still bring
daily sacrifices to G-d
by giving up our desire for
women. Every time we say
'No' to our Yetzer hara and
we don't stray after our
eyes, this is a sacrifice
that is worthy of having
been given at Har Sinai
(like the Pasuk says above)
- where the Torah itself was
given to us, and it is a
pleasing fragrance and a
fire for G-d.
Indeed, it is called a
Korbon Tamid, meaning
"the always sacrifice" -
perhaps because -
always - even after
the Beis Hamikdash is
destroyed, we can still
bring this sacrifice.
And what a great honor it is
to be able to bring our own
personal Korbon
Tamid for Hashem
every day!
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198. |
"Va'Yishman Yeshurun Va'Yivat"
And the Jewish people became fat and
kicked
A person who just found out that he
has a serious disease, for example,
or someone who is ill, in pain, or
just lost a large sum of money, it's
unlikely that he would be having
a difficult struggle with shmiras
ainayim or improper thoughts
at that time. Suddenly these type of
desires would have no meaning;
they become irrelevant in light of
"more important matters" at hand.
It's only when one is healthy,
financially stable and feels
comfortable with himself that he can
start to forget his priorities in
life and begin to stray after
self-gratification.
If we keep this in mind, it may help us in
the struggle. Let's appreciate what we have
now and pray to G-d that we should never
need to come to tragedies - G-d forbid - to
"forget" about how "difficult" our struggles
in these areas are. |
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199. |
How can I ever start
again fresh?
Q. I
stopped looking at forbidden things a
while ago. But they are still in my
memory. Even if I do teshuva, my aveiros
can never be erased completely. The
eraser marks will still be there. The
images are implanted in my memory and
will never go away. I'm sick over it.
Your website is like a rope being thrown
to a drowning person. But it will take a
lot of convincing for me to believe that
there's hope. I want the memories
erased. I want all my past mistakes
erased without a trace, like a brand new
piece of paper. I don't know if that's
possible.
A. The
fact that you had the will power to stop
looking at forbidden things already
shows that you have greatness inside
you. How many people in today's world
are willing to work on themselves in
these areas and admit their mistakes?
This is very precious in G-d's eyes.
Chassidus teaches us that a Jew
has to look at the past and future as
out of their hands, and to look at what
we did in the past as what G-d wanted to
happen. Strange as it may seem, our sins
in the past were G-d's will. Only the
present is in our hands. In the present,
it is in our hands to decide if we want
to change and do
Teshuvah on the past. We can
change the past only by changing our
present. What that means is, that the
situation you are in at this present
time is exactly the situation that G-d
wants you to deal with now. Look at it
as if you were born at this moment, with
all the images and memories already
engraved in your head. G-d wants you to
deal with this situation, and davka this
situation.
This is also a chance for greatness, to
be able to serve G-d even though the
mind was already influenced by the past.
If we all had pure minds and had never
sinned, we wouldn't have the opportunity
for growth and for Teshuvah that we have
today. We wouldn't have the opportunity
to pave new paths of Teshuvah and give
G-d true joy. And that's why Chaza"l
say;
"Where Balai Teshuvah stand, even
perfect Tzaddikim can't stand".
This can be understood in two ways: (1)
Because the
Ba'al
Teshuvah has a greater challenge
to deal with, having already a damaged
past, and (2) if the
Ba'al
Teshuvah succeeds in doing a true
Teshuvah, then not only have they erased
their past sins, but they have uplifted
the sins and turned them all into holy
angels, (as Chaza"l say
"Zedonos nasin lo ki'zechuyos -
the sins become merits").
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200. |
Am I a Failure?
Q. I'm
failing in guarding myself from
mental stimulation and I have not
been able to control my eyes
properly. I keep fantasizing about
whoever is dressed immodestly on the
street.
A. Dear
spiritual soldier! Don't be discouraged.
You should know that guarding the eyes
and the mind is a constant work. Every
time you go out into the street, and
especially when you are feeling
emotionally weak, it is very difficult
to keep the right frame of mind to
garner the strength necessary for
guarding the eyes properly. Guarding the
eyes is a constant and continuous
struggle and requires a lot of patience.
You will have many ups and downs along
the way. Don't expect results right
away. If you succeed in turning away
from something that pulls you even a few
times a day, it is already a great
accomplishment - even if you failed many
other times that day. And don't worry,
you will start
to see progress over the months and over
the years, as long as you never give up
hope and keep doing your part.
Also, never stop praying to G-d. When
you see beauty or feel lust, cry out;
"G-d! I
love You,
not flesh and blood!"
See also here for
lots of great tips and advice on dealing
with fantasies.
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