B”H |
The Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk List
E-Mails 251-300 |
251. |
All Tzadikim Are Tested
Every tzaddik is faced with the
most difficult tests. Chazal say
that the higher one's level, the
greater their evil inclination.
There is no tzaddik that exists
that wasn't tempted and didn't
face sin head to head. We think
that because they are righteous
they were never normal human
beings just like us, facing the
simple temptations that we do.
Yosef HaTzaddik covered his face
and ran away from Potifar's wife.
Rabbi Abraham Abulafia was brave
enough in his sefer, Chayay
Olam Habah, to admit that
he defiled his body from the
wasteful admission of seed. He
says that for fifteen years,
"the Satan was at my right hand
to mislead me". Also he
said, that the numerical value
of Satan, 359, is the same as
that of Zera Lavan, white seed,
which is in reference to semen.
This goes to show you one of the
main goals of the Satan, to get
us to stumble in this desire.
Rebbe Nachman says, that these
desires are the greatest test
that a man faces in this world
(Rabbi Nachman's Wisdom 115). He
said that he was able to
overcome this desire, but he had
to cry out to Hashem again and
again. The temptations were very
real for him, but he later said,
"A man with even the smallest
amount of real intelligence,
will not find this a temptation
at all". The Satan wanted
so much for him to slip on this
desire that he was willing to
let Rebbe Nachman overcome every
other desire, if only he would
slip up on this once. Rebbe
Nachman did the opposite though,
and said he would
ignore his other desires
and not work to control them at
all, but the sexual desire he
would completely eradicate (Shevachay
Haran 16). As a young man, even
amidst the fire burning inside
him, he overcame this desire
completely. He later said,
"I do not have any feeling of
desire at all. Men and women are
all the same to me". When
he came in contact with a woman,
he didn't even have an
extraneous thought. (ibid)
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252. |
"Al tamin be'atzmecha ad yom
misascha -
Don't believe in yourself till
the day you die"
There's a story in the
Gemara (Kedushin 81b) about
Rav Chiyah Bar Ashi who had
stopped having relations
with his wife for years
because he was old and week,
and yet he would fall on his
face every day and pray that
Hashem save him from the
Yetzer Hara. One day his
wife heard him praying and
she couldn't understand why
he needed to pray for this,
even though he was old and
weak. So she dressed up as
the town harlot and passed
by him as he learned in the
garden, and he didn't know
it was his wife and he
"sinned" with her.
Afterwards, he wanted to
kill himself for
having sinned, and he sat
inside the oven to burn
himself to death and atone
for his sin. And his wife
found him there and asked
him what he was doing. And
he told her what had
happened and refused to come
out. So she admitted to him
that it was her, and finally
after proving it to him, she
convinced him to come out.
And yet, even though he
realized he hadn't really
sinned, the Gemara says
that this Tzadik fasted for
the rest of his life, only
because he had "thought" he
was sinning.
We can see from this story
how one must never stop
davening to Hashem to be
saved from the Yetzer Hara.
Even this great Tzadik, who
was already old, weak and
greatly removed from these
temptations, still felt the
need to fall on his face and
daven every day for Hashem
to save him!
No prayer goes to waste, no
matter how insignificant it
seems, and even if we feel
we don't really mean
it. Whenever you see
something that turns your
heart, cry out to Hashem and
say, "Hashem, save me from
lust for flesh and blood!
Help me instead to lust for
you! As it says in Tehillim: Tzama
Lecha Nafshi, Kama Lecha
Besari - My
soul thirsts for you, my
flesh pines for you!"
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253. |
When You Feel Far, You Are Close
When Moshiach comes - any
day now, G-d willing, we
will yearn for the days when
we had the struggle, when
the struggle was so real.
There is no greater
connection with Hashem
than when a person feels
that he
needs Hashem every
second to save him.
The Sefer Shamati (from the Ba'al
Hasulam) explains that the
real definition of
"Simcha Shel Mitzva"
is as follows:
Davka when a Jew
feels no simcha in serving
Hashem and he feels dried
out and far from Hashem, yet
he knows what he really
wants deep down and instead
of letting these feelings
stop him, he arouses himself
to rejoice in the
realization that he
"needs" Hashem so
much to help him... That is
true Simcha
Shel Mitzvah and that is
the truest connection with
Hashem that a person can
have.
The Ba'al Hasulam gives a
parable. If someone is dying
and only his friend can save
him, he will beg his friend
to save him with every ounce
of strength he has. He will
be totally dependent and
attached to his
friend. However, if he is
not dying and he only wants
his friend to give him
something of "extras"
(motarot), then he
will not be so attached to
his friend through his
desire and request.
When a Jew feels that being
a slave to his Yetzer Hara
is "death itself", in that
it will tear him away from
the source of "life itself",
then it becomes to him a
matter of life and death.
And when the struggle is
hard, he knows only Hashem
can save him from this
death! And he will not stop
needing Hashem and begging
Hashem to save him every
day. And this is the TRUEST
and STRONGEST connection a
Jew can have with Hashem. It
is even stronger than the
connection of Tzaddikim whom
Hashem has already saved
from the Yetzer Hara.
For such a Tzadik is like
someone who got a present
from the king, took it and
left. But the man who is
begging the king to spare
his very life, then
davka BECAUSE it is
so hard and he has so little
strength, this is a man who
is truly davuk (attached)
to the King.
Tzadikim who had already
beaten the Yetzer Hara
were known to have greatly
yearned for the days when
they still had these
battles; when they still
felt so dependent - and
therefore
attached - to Hashem.
As the Pasuk says "Me'rachok
Nireh Li Hashem -
from afar Hashem appeared to
me". It is the
feeling of being
far, that in reality
brings us so
close. And this
should give a person the
greatest joy, ironically
davka at the time he
feels no joy (because in
such a state he has no one
to rely on but Hashem - and
is the most attached to
Hashem).
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254. |
Fallen Love
A Jew needs to use all of
his
middos (attributes)
in the right way. For
example, both the attributes
of humility AND haughtiness
can be used for the service
of Hashem. As the Pasuk
says "Vayigbah
Libo Bedarkei Hashem
-
and his heart was proud in
the ways of Hashem" (in
regards to one of the kings
of Klal Yisrael). One of the
previous Karliner Rebbes
once said that when a Jew
wants to serve Hashem, he
should feel humble and
broken hearted that he
hasn't even
begun to serve the
Almighty as is worthy of
such a great and awesome
G-d. However, when he goes
into the
street, he should
arouse his pride and
remember that he is a ben-melech -
a son of the King, and that
it isn't appropriate for him
to be pulled after the lowly
desires of this world.
This follows the Ba'al Shem
Tov's teachings that every
Middah (attribute) needs to
be used for Kedushah. The
same applies to lust and
love of forbidden pleasures.
It is our job to learn to
transform our desire for
flesh and blood to desire
for Hashem... And the Ba'al
Shem Tov also explains how
the "love" we feel for
forbidden things is actually
a "fallen" love of Hashem.
For after all, Hashem is the
source of all love, all
beauty, all pleasure and all
desire.
All of the
Middos are rooted in
the upper worlds and they
all come from places of
holiness. But they have
fallen to the Klippos and
have been downgraded in this
world of darkness. As
children of the King, it is
our job to uplift these
attributes and return them
to their source by using
them for
Kedusha!
So when the heart is pulled
after the things we see, we
need to cry out to Hashem
and say "Hashem! ... These
desires I feel belongs to
you. You are the source!
Help me please Father, to
direct my love towards you,
for you are the source of
all beauty and all good!"
And when we walk in the
street, let's arouse our
pride as the "son of the
King", and not let ourselves
be pulled after the filth
and grime of the Yetzer
Hara!
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255. |
Getting Up Seven Times
Among the collected letters of
Rav Yitzchok Hutner, zt"l, is
one that was written to a talmid
whose own, earlier, letter to
the Rosh Yeshiva had apparently
evidenced the student's
despondence over his personal
spiritual failures. The Rosh
Yeshiva's response provides
nourishing food for thought.
Citing the saying that one can
"lose battles but win wars," Rav
Hutner explains that what makes
life meaningful is not beatific
basking in the exclusive company
of one's yetzer tov" but rather
the dynamic struggle of one's
battle with the yetzer hora.
Shlomo Hamelech's maxim that
"Seven times does the righteous
one fall and get up" (Mishlei,
24:16), continues Rav Hutner,
does not mean that "even after
falling seven times, the
righteous one manages to gets up
again." What it really means, he
explains, is that it is only and
precisely through repeated falls
that a person truly achieves
righteousness. The struggles -
even the failures - are inherent
elements of what can, with
determination and perseverance,
become an ultimate victory.
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256. |
The Smooth Talking Bandit
An approximate translation
of a Zohar (Parshas VaYerah):
Rabbi Yitzchak says. To what
is the Yetzer Hara similar?
To a band of highway robbers
who murder and steal from
people. They take a man from
their ranks who is a smooth
talker, and they stake him
out on the highway. And
there he awaits people on
the road and goes out to
greet them, pretending to be
a poor man who wants to be
their servant and friend,
until the people believe him
and trust in his love and in
what he says. And he brings
them with his smooth talking
to the place where the
robbers are waiting, and in
the end, he is the first one
to kill them and rob them of
all they have, after he
gives them over into the
hands of the robbers. And
the people cry out, "woe to
us that we listened to this
man and to his smooth
tongue".
And after the robbers have
killed these people, this
same man goes up from there
again to stand on the
highway and convince others
to follow him. What do the
wise men do? When they see
this man coming towards them
and enticing them, they know
him and know that he is
trying to trap their very
souls, and they kill him and
take a different route.
So it is with the Yetzer
Hara. He comes up from the
band of robbers - from
Gehinnom - towards men, to
entice them with the
sweetness of his words.
And the fools believe in him
and in his love, and he
makes himself as their
servant. He gives them
beautiful women who are
prohibited, he gives them
people to harm, he takes off
the yoke of Torah and the
yoke of Heaven from them.
And the foolish trust in his
love until he goes with them
and brings them to the path
where the bandits await; the
way to Gehinom, where there
is nowhere to turn right or
left [to escape]. And when
he gets there with them, he
is the first to kill them,
and he turns into the angel
of death and takes them into
Gehinom and brings down the
angels of destruction upon
them, and they cry and
shout, "woe to us that we
listened to this one". But
it doesn't help them [for
Teshuvah and regret no
longer help in the world to
come]. Afterwards, he goes
up from Gehinom and entices
others. But the wise, when
they see him, they recognize
him and overpower him until
they control him. And they
turn from that path and go
on another path to be saved
from him.
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257. |
The Guard-Your-Eyes Attitude
Our website and
network is called
"GuardYourEyes"
because the eyes are
the windows to the
soul. All the limbs
of the body
- including the
heart and mind,
follow the purity of
the eyes. Even
a heart and
mind that has been
polluted from years
of abuse, will also
become pure and
holy over time, once
a person has
learned to guards
his eyes.
Here are some
"mind-tips" to
help us guard
our eyes:
1) When struggling,
tell yourself that
no matter how
painful it feels NOT
to look, it is even
MORE PAINFUL to
look. Why?
- You feel
suddenly far
from Hashem and
from your
goals.
- You feel a
feeling of
helplessness and
depression set
in.
- You know
that what you
see in the
street you can't
have anyway.
Looking and
desiring what we
ayway can't
have, HURTS.
So essentially, the
pain we feel when
not looking
is MUCH BETTER than
the pain of looking.
2) Also, the pain we
feel when NOT
looking, is "healing
pain". It's the pain
of a "work-out". As
they say in
body-building
exercises: "No pain,
no gain". On the
other hand, the
spiritual and
psychological pain
of looking is the
pain of the Yetzer
Hara getting worse.
Which pain do we
choose?
3) The pain we feel
when not looking is
not really our pain
at all. It is the
pain of the Yetzer
Hara in his "death
throws". He is
screaming that we
are hitting him
hard. So we should
enjoy such pain! We
are feeling the pain
of our enemy as he
is dying!
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258. |
When I was struggling
with
Shmiras HaEinayim,
I felt that the Y"H was
literally pulling and
pushing my head in any
direction that he
wished. It was as if I
had no free choice. The
reason I felt like this
is because he was truly
in control. Wherever I
would walk, I tried and
failed.
Then, I decided to make
very very small goals. I
would accept upon
myself, that the walk
from shul to my home
(about 100 meters) I
absolutely no matter
what, would not look
anywhere except at the
ground. It was
difficult, but this was
a goal that I could
handle. After a few
times of doing this, I
was able to increase the
goal. During the same
period of time, when I
was driving (which is
much more difficult as
we are looking almost
everywhere in order to
drive safely), I could
see with my peripheral
vision that there were
"interesting" things
walking on the sidewalk.
I literally had to
scream and shout with
pain in order to break
the pull of the Yetzer
Hara. But this too
worked, and immediately
afterwards things became
much easier.
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259. |
Every
Teffilah is Unique
If you are sitting by the
computer and an urge to see
something forbidden comes to
you, just get up and walk out of
the room. Take a walk and pray.
Say: "Hashem,
please save me from this menuval!
He is too strong for me! Only
you can help me,
otherwise I am lost. I want to
love YOU Hashem, not flesh and
blood".
Say it with all your heart. This
is what Hashem wants to hear. He
lets the
Yetzer Hara come to us
every day just so that we should
cry out to him. And he listens.
Never say,
"I've prayed for this 1000 times
before already". Every
time is unique. All the Teffilos
gather together, one by one,
until they finally break through
the heavens when you least
expect it. Remember, every time
the Yetzer Hara strikes is a
valuable opportunity for
Teffilah. And
that is what Hashem is
waiting for.
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260. |
True Holiness;
True Strength
One should know that the
principle aspect of a Jew's
holiness and purity is in
sanctifying his eyes. The Torah
emphasizes this in the verse
regarding Yehuda by
asking, "Where is the
k'deisha?" While the
word k'deisha has
the meaning "harlot," it can
also be read in its meaning of
"holiness", so that we read,
"Where is the holiness?" And the
answer is "b'Anayim",
which means (that the harlot was
in the place called Anayim,
but also) that the holiness of a
Jew is in the Anayim -
the eyes (Bereshit, 38:21).
I saw also in a Sefer recently
that the word "Re'iyah" -
which means "Sight", equals in Gematria the
word "Gevurah"
meaning "Strength". This is to
show us that the main strength
of a person in fighting his evil
inclination is by guarding his
sight. One who guards his eyes
is the REAL Gibor.
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Chidushei Torah
R' Nachman writes that the Tikkun for
immoral fantasies is to be Mechadesh
Chidushai Torah. And he
explains that the reason for
this is because fantasy comes
through a
person's "imagination",
therefore, by working out new
insights in Torah through the
power of the imagination (i.e.
by comparing one thing to
another), one fixes the
spiritual damage that he caused
through the imagination of
improper fantasies and thereby
causes his imagination to become
holy.
In light of the above, here's a Chidush
Torah of my own for now (to get
you all started :-). We read
every day in the
Korbonos, "Zeh
ha'isheh asher takrivu l'hashem" and "Ishe Raiyach
Nicho'ach L'Hashem". Perhaps the
word "Ishe"
that is always used in the Torah
when talking about
Korbanos, is coming to
hint to us that the most
desirable "sacrifice" to Hashem
and what makes for him a true "Raiyach
Nicho'ach", is when a man
sacrifices his "desire for
women" and gives it away to
Hashem.
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261. |
Maharal: The
Secret to Beating the Yetzer
Hara
Someone pointed out to me a
beautiful piece from the Maharal (Netiv
Koach Hayetzer, Perek 4). The
relevant Hebrew text can be downloaded
here.
The Maharal writes something that
sounds very simple, yet he claims
that it is the deepest secret to
understanding the battle with the
Yetzer Hara. The Maharal writes,
that as long as a person believes he
can overcome the Yetzer Hara
himself, he will fail. This is
because he is pitting his strength
against the strength of the Yetzer
Hara, like two people who are
fighting with each other. The Yetzer
Hara is an angel of G-d, and we are
mere mortals. Obviously, the angel
will overcome the mortal. The only
one who is stronger than
this angel is Hashem himself. He
alone can help us overcome the
Yetzer Hara.
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What Are
Real Chidushei Torah?
R' Baruch of Medzibuz explains
that the true meaning of
Torah She'Ba'al
Peh is that every Jew
needs to be
Mechadesh (discover)
insights in the Torah each day
by learning new ways to serve
Hashem. And he explains that
when we make new fences and
guards in areas that we need to
strengthen ourselves to
uphold the Torah -
these are the true "Chiddushim" in
Torah, and that is what is meant
by "Torah
Sh'Ba'al Peh".
As we say,
"ve'Sen Chelkeinu Betorasecha" -
each person has their own Chelek in
the Torah. How? Because each
person, through his own unique
struggles and the fences that he
makes for himself because of
these struggles, he creates new
paths and chiddushim in
Hashem's Torah.
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262. |
The Spring Board
The Nesivos
Shalom of Slonim writes that
the struggles a person finds himself
struggling with the most in life are
an indication of what his
particular Neshama was sent down to
the world to fix, and the path that
his soul is meant to use to come
close to Hashem.
Never think of the struggle with
purity as a problem that we
"unfortunately" have to deal with. Adaraba! It
was given to us by Hashem so we can
GROW! This is our opportunity to
come close to Hashem. That is why he
gave us this struggle. He is calling
us. He wants me and he wants YOU.
And this is one of the main reasons
we came down to this world.
Hashem wants us to use this struggle
with sincerity as a "spring board"
to come closer to Him. He has given
us the "spring board", now all we
have to do is JUMP on it. And if we
fall,
chas veshalom, we just gather
momentum for a higher jump next
time.
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263. |
Advice for Someone Tempted to
View Forbidden Pictures
- and a Tikkun
Rabbi Avraham J. Twerski sent us
an article he found that he thought
would be useful for our
chizuk (he translated it into
english for us):
If the yetzer hara is so powerful
that you feel you cannot resist it,
tell the yetzer hara, "Just wait a
bit. I'll grant your desire in 15 or
30 minutes." You should know for
certain that every second you put it
off, you are fulfilling the mitzva
"And do not explore after your heart
and after your eyes after which you
stray," as the Talmud says,
that when a person is tempted to
commit a sin and refrains from doing
so, one has a mitzvah. One should
rejoice that one has the opportunity
to fulfill the mitzvah of teshuva,
and inasmuch as one mitzva leads to
another mitzva, he may find that
after the 15 or 30 minute delay he
can put if off for longer, and in
this manner he can placate his yetzer
hara.
If, after the delay, one falls prey
to the yetzer
hara, one should know that
the mitzva accrued during the delay
is not lost and stands to his
credit, and by merit of this, it
will be easier to resist subsequent
temptations. One should pray to
Hashem that the mitzvah of delay
should strengthen him in his
struggle with the yetzer hara.
One should be most careful to
fulfill the mitzva of tzitzis properly
with a talis katan of the prescribed
size, and look at the tzitzis from
time to time, because this is a segula ("magical
force") against the yetzer hara, as
the Talmud says in Menachos 44. He
should kiss the tzitzis, bring them
to touch his eyes, and say audibly,
"And do not explore after your heart
and after your eyes after which you
stray."
When they lift the Torah in shul,
look at the script in the Torah and
think that looking at the holy words
should protect you from looking at
improper things. Also, look at the
Shabbos candles, whose glow is that
of Hashem's presence. On Chanukah,
look at the Chanukah candles for an
extended time.
Every day, recite Chapter 51 of
Psalms, and concentrate on the
verse,
"Hashem,
create a pure heart within me."
and also on the verse,
"Return to me the joy of Your
salvation."
You should know that each time you
suppress the yetzer
hara, you give Hashem great
delight. The Talmud says that the
place occupied by a baal teshuva is
superior to that of a perfect tzaddik.
When you succeed in subduing the yetzer
hara, you should not feel depressed
about the past, as Rambam says,
"Yesterday the sinful person was
distant from Hashem, but with teshuva he
is close to Hashem, and Hashem
receives his mitzvos with great
love.
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264. |
Rejoice in the Seeking
In worldly pursuits, one only finds
happiness when he
GETS what he was looking for.
But in spiritual quests it works
differently.
The pasuk says,
"Yismach lev mevakshei Hashem
-
Happy is the heart of those who
seek Hashem". It
doesn't say "Yismach
Lev Masigei Hashem
-
Happy is one who
has Hashem". It is davka through
the act of being
"Mevakesh"
(seeking) that we find joy and
fulfillment in spiritual matters.
Therefore we should to rejoice that
we WANT to be free from these
thoughts and desires and be close to
Hashem -
even if we still have a long
way to go. After all, if we
didn't have these tests, not only
wouldn't get rewarded, but we
wouldn't be able to get closer to
Hashem by not acting upon them. It's
only because we have these desires
and don't act on them, that we are
able to grow each day.
Through these struggles our aspect
of
"mevakesh Hashem" grows and
redefines itself anew every day.
And this is
what Hashem truly wants from us; to
seek
Him out -
davka when it's hard, for
this is what gives us a true
"Kesher"
(connection) with Hashem. The more
we
need Hashem, the more we feel
connected to Him. And this
"Kesher"
is even more desirable to Hashem
than our successes in vanquishing
the Yetzer Hara.
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265. |
Aba Shaul the Grave Digger
Gemara in Nidda (24b):
Aba Shaul says, I used to be a
grave-digger. One day, a cave opened
up under me and I stood in a (huge)
eye-socket of a skeleton until my
nose. When I went back, they told me
it was the eye of Avshalom. And lest
you'll say that Aba Shaul was short,
he was the tallest in his
generation. And Rav Tarfon, who was
the tallest in his generation, came
only to Aba Shaul's shoulders. And
Rav Meir, who was the tallest in his
generation, came only to Rav
Tarfon's shoulders.... etc....
The Maharsha writes that this Gemara
is a parable. Aba Shaul is saying
that he was once sunk in impurity.
It reached a point where he had
fallen in until his nose - meaning,
he could hardly breath a breath
without impurity. Then he says
"when I went back" - meaning
"when I did Teshuvah", they
told me it was the eye-socket of
Avshalom (son of David). Avshalom
had "huge eyes" in a metaphysical
sense. He desired to take over his
father's entire kingdom and take his
father's Pilagshim (mistresses)
as well. He had eyes that desired to
swallow everything that was not his.
Aba Shaul is saying that once he did
Teshuvah, he was able to recognize
that the impurity he had sunk into
was a result of this "eye of
Avshalom", which means "the desire
to look at and swallow all that was
not his".
And the Gemara continues, lest you
say, Aba Shaul must have been a
"low-life" to have eyes that desired
everything,
no!
he was such a great person, that he
became the tallest (read: greatest)
in his generation!
We can learn from this Gemara two
important lessons:
1.
The source of impurity is the eyes.
The eyes see and desire that which
does not belong to them, and through
this, one can sink so low until he
can hardly breath without impurity.
2.
When a person who has these
struggles does a true Teshuvah, he
can reach the greatest heights of
spirituality.
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266. |
Not
Shayach
After yesterday's Chizuk e-mail
(Aba Shaul the Grave Digger)
about how the eyes desire to
swallow up that which is not
ours, someone sent us the
following inspirational e-mail
that I think we can all learn
from:
Thank you for this last e-mail.
For me, this was a truly
powerful and relevant Chizuk
because it deepens something
that I've been using lately to
help fight the yetzer hara. Last
year while learning Baba Metzia,
the Rav gave and incredible
explanation of the concept of
'kinyan'. He drew from
Rebbe Nachman and other sources
and described that there are
many levels by which a person
can 'acquire' something: (a) A
person can see something, desire
it and become slightly attached
to it (b) He can state aloud,
'it's mine' (c) He can pick it
up (d) He can sign a document
of acquisition. These examples
exist along a continuum of
'acquisition', from the most
shallow to the most deep and
enduring.
Ultimately, our soul is here to
acquire our body (and its
associated physicality in the
world) in order to fulfill the
soul's purpose. Our souls all
signed a contract when we came
into the world. The soul needs
the body and its associated
physicality in order to fulfill
this contract.
And as I walk through the
world, I can acquire things
cheaply and shallowly, or I can
really invest in them until they
become part of me. Ultimately,
true fulfillment of purpose
comes from having real
relationships with the things or
people in my life, in a way that
contributes to the fulfillment
of the soul's purpose. The
shallow 'acquisitions' that I
make, don't contribute to real
fulfillment. Quite the opposite.
They create a cloud of confusion
about my soul's purpose in the
world. Clarity
and truth are what bring
fulfillment. It's only
when I'm truly connected to that
which is relevant to my soul's
purpose that I can accomplish
that purpose, and feel fulfilled
in this world and Iy"H in the
next. The shallow 'acquisitions'
that come from looking with
my eyes and their desires, are
like the cloud that confounds
and confuses my consciousness,
preventing me from seeing that
which is truly relevant - or
Shaiyach - to my soul.
So as I walk around the world, I
make a practice of reminding
myself that real fulfillment
comes from attaching myself to
that which is
Shaiyach. And with the
help of G-d, I remind myself
when I notice my eyes going
after desires, 'Not
Shaiyach'. And if it's
not
shaiyach, there's no real
fulfillment, just confusion.
So try it. Keep in mind a phrase
that evokes to you something
like 'this object of desire is
not relevant or connected to my
soul, and in fact will just
bring confusion'. For me, the
phrase is 'Not
Shaiyach'.
Thanks for all these great tips
and posts. They are Iy"H truly
strengthening my
avodah in the area of
attaching my soul to that which
is relevant, and clearing it of
the confusing attachments that
are not relevant.
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267. |
For The Sake of
Hashem's
Mitzvos
I read an amazing story of an
older couple from Russia.
The wife called the
Chevrah Kadisha and told
them that her husband had died.
They came and took the body and
prepared him for burial. The
next day, the
Chevrah Kadisha came to
the
Beis Hakvaros and no one
was there besides for the old
lady. They quickly arranged for
a
Minyan and said
Kaddish. Afterwards, the
wife began speaking to her
departed husband and she said:
"My dear husband, when you get
up to Shamayim and they ask you
why we didn't have children,
tell them it is because when we
lived in Russia we couldn't keep
the Halachos of Taharas
Hamishpacha, and by the time we
arrived in Eretz Yisrael we were
too old to have children".
When the
Chevrah Kaddisha heard
this, they all began to weep.
Yidden, Holy Yidden! Do you
understand what that means? They
lived their entire youthful
years together without ever
being together as husband and
wife - for the sake of Hashem's
Mitzvos!
Who can imagine the
self-sacrifice that Jews had
throughout the generations to
upkeep Hashem's Mitzvos and
guard the holy character of the
Jewish people?
What a fallen generation we live
in today. But take heart! We
here on this e-mail list and on the
forum are a spark of light
that still shines in a dark
world. On the GuardYourEyes
network we are experiencing the
sincerity of yidden striving for
Kedusha against all odds.
So join us today in learning to
give Hashem our hearts!
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268. |
How to get Hashem
to Fight for Us
The Yetzer Hara is stronger than us.
We have no hope of beating him
alone. After all, he was created by
Hashem, so it's like trying to fight
Hashem himself! The only way we can
win him over, is when Hashem
himself steps in to fight for
us. But how do we get Hashem to do
this for us?
I saw a beautiful piece in the
Sefer
"Shamati" from the Ba'al
Hasulam that sheds light on this
great question. David Hamelech
writes in Tehillim, "Ohavei
Hashem sinu Ra, shomer nafshos
chasidav miyad reshayim
yatzeileim -
Those who love Hashem hate evil,
He guards the souls of
his righteous, from the hand of
the Reshayim he saves them".
The
Ba'al Hasulam explains
that "evil" refers to the Ratzon
Lekabel which is "the
desire to receive" that
was implanted in every person by
Hashem so that He can ultimately
bestow all his good upon us.
However, it is this very Ratzon
Lekabel that separates us
from Hashem, since it makes us "wanters"
and "takers", while Hashem is
the very opposite of that, He
only wants to "give". Just like
two people who like opposite
things can't be friends, and
conversely, two people who like
exactly the same things, become
very close. Therefore, explains
the Ba'al Hasulam, true Deveikus with
Hashem can only be achieved when
a person breaks his Ratzon
Lekabel and insists that
he wants to be like Hashem. This
means not to be a "taker" but
only to be a "giver", to give of
himself to others, and to live
for Hashem and give Him a
Nachas Ruach.
The problem is, no one can break
the Ratzon
Lekabel. It is the very
nature of our existence and it
was put in place by Hashem
himself. How can one break his
very nature? So the Pasuk
reveals to us the secret:
"Those who love Hashem",
says the Pasuk, "hate
evil". Hashem doesn't ask
of us to break the
Yetzer Hara, he asks us
only to HATE IT. When we
recognize how this Ratzon
Lekabel has been the
cause of every misfortune and
evil that has ever befallen man,
we begin to HATE IT. When we
realize that it is only the Ratzon
Lekabel that seperates
between us and Hashem - like a
stone wall, we begin to HATE IT.
And when we finally hate the Ratzon
Lekabel with a passion,
the Pasuk continues: "He
guards the souls of
his righteous, from the hands of
the evil ones he saves them".
How deep and profound this is!
Hashem is not asking us to break
our nature. He is not asking us
to be mighty-super men and
conquer the huge Yetzer Hara.
Instead, he asks us only to Hate
the
Menuval. To hate him for
being the one
thing that separates us
from Hashem. To hate him for
being the source of
all misery and suffering in the
world, since the time of
creation. And when we hate him
with a passion and cry out to
Hashem, Hashem steps in and "from
the hands of the evil ones he
saves them".
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269. |
Never Letting Go of Hashem
The
Nesivos Shalom (Parshas Noach)
brings the Pasuk:
"Vayehi Er Bechor Yehudah Ra Be'einei
Hashem, Vayemiseihu Hashem
-
And Er the son of Yehudah was
bad in the eyes of Hashem, and
Hashem killed him". The
Nesivos Shalom explains that
there are two types of "bad":
(1) "Ra" without
a "Hei",
and (2) "Ra'ah" -
with a "Hei". "Hei" represents
the name of Hashem. "Ra" without
Hashem (like it says by
"Er") is "bad" with
no hope, and "Ra'ah" with
a "Hei"
is "bad"
with
hope.
Continues the
Nesivos Shalom: It says
about the Jewish people,
"Lo Hibit Aven Biyaakov...
Hashem Elokav Imo -
He sees no sin in Yaakov...
Hashem his G-d is with him".
Asks the
Nesivos Shalom, how can
it be that G-d chooses not to
see sins in the Jewish people?
Chaza"l say terrible things
about anyone who says that
Hashem is a
"Vatran" (i.e. that He
lets us off the hook when we
sin)? Explains the Nesivos
Shalom, that the end of
this Pasuk holds the answer - "Hashem
Elokav Imo - Hashem
his G-d is with him". A
Jew that sins because he can't
control himself, but deep down
his heart is breaking about how
far he is from Hashem and he
doesn't let go
of Hashem, in such a
case Hashem chooses not to see
the evil and will forgive this
person. And even if during the
sin he doesn't feel bad, but
afterwards he feels bad
about it and the good inside him
makes him feel guilty and he
asks himself,
"How could I have sinned and
ignored the word of Hashem?"
then there is also still hope
for him. For this is the
Koach that brings to
Teshuvah.
And the
Nesivos Shalom goes on to
say that the guilty feelings we
have are a GIFT from Hashem that
come from the good inside every
Jew. Indeed, a Jew who does NOT
have these feelings anymore no
longer has hope - like
"Er" the son of Yehudah
(where the
"Ra" is written
without a
"Hei"), and that is why
Hashem killed him.
And he goes on to say that this
can be a test for a person to
know where he stands. If he no
longer has a guilty conscious
when sinning, then he can know
that he is in a very bad state
indeed. Because a person who
gives in to the
Yetzer Hara only because
the
Yetzer hara has tempted
him strongly and he can't hold
back, is still not "bad" in
essence, and G-d will forgive
him when he does Teshuvah. But
where one doesn't feel guilt
anymore, it means that the bad
has taken him over completely,
and there is little hope.
And this is a Tikkun for
every Jew to be able to
get out of the bad. That
even when he falls, he
should make sure that
the fall does not become
part of his essence. For
one who continues to
hold on to Hashem and
feel guilty when he is
far from Hashem, even if
he did
the worst sins, he
still has hope and will
be forgiven.
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270. |
Is it Us or Him?
David hamelech sang
Shira that Hashem saved
him from the hands of
"Shaul".
"Shaul" means also
"borrowed" in
Lashon Kodesh. Sometimes
Hashem gives a person special
spiritual feelings and levels to
help them through hard times,
but these
"madregos" are really
borrowed. They are not really
ours. And sometimes, when we get
to where Hashem wanted us to get
to, the feelings and joy we felt
in
Avodas Hashem are taken
away from us so we can grow even
more (in spite of losing the
feelings). So David was thanking
Hashem for saving him from
"borrowed" madregos and letting
him earn these levels on his
own.
On the other hand, we know that
there really is no such thing as
achieving
any level "on our own".
As Chazal say,
"Lulai Hashem Ozer Lo, Lo Yuchal
Lo -
If Hashem wouldn't help him, he
couldn't overcome him (the
Yetzer hara)".
So what's the deal? Is it really
us or is it really
Hashem who does the work?
How do these two point of views
co-exist?
So here's the secret. Hashem is
the one who really does it, but
he doesn't do the work for us
UNTIL we have tried everything
possible and have come to the
conclusion that no one can help
us but Him. At that point, we
have a "Kli
Shalem" (a complete
vessel) and Hashem is there to
fill it up. In other words, we
DO have to work hard;
very hard. But the work
we do is not necessarily to make
progress, but rather to get to
the point where we know that we
can't do it on our own. As long
as we didn't work as hard as we
could, we still think in the
back of our minds that maybe we
could do it
ourselves and the vessel
is still not complete. Only
after we've done all we can and
still can't win the Yetzer Hara,
at that point we NEED Hashem so
badly and the
Kli is Shalem.
The rule is that Hashem's light
is always shining, but the
reason we don't feel it is
because our vessels are damaged
and / or full of other things.
As soon as we truly
need Hashem and have an
empty vessel for His help, the
light of Hashem automatically shines
in and we are saved.
You may ask, but WHY did Hashem
make the world this way? Why
couldn't he make it that we
could really achieve our levels
on our own? Wouldn't that give
Him more
Nachas Ruach? The answer
is simple yet beautiful. Hashem
is not looking for our success.
He is looking for us to have a
KESHER (bond) with him.
If we could succeed on our own,
we wouldn't NEED him and we
wouldn't have a strong
Kesher with him. Hashem
has enough "mighty"
Malachim in Shamayim. He
is not looking for "Super Men"
who can do it alone. Instead, he
wants us to have a
KESHER with Him. And when
we know that we have no other
hope than getting His help, THAT
is a complete
Kesher.
Perhaps if we train ourselves
to acknowledge all the time that
Hashem is the only one who can
help us (by constantly saying
this to Him and asking for his
help), then maybe we will have
to work less (and fall less) in
the long term before coming to a
full realization and having this
"Kli Shalem".
The same principal above,
applies with any type of
"Redemption", whether it's from
the
Yetzer Hara or whether
it's the redemption at the End
of Days. Like Chaza"l say,
Moshiach won't come until
we all recognize that "Ain
Lanu al mi Lisha'ein ela al
Avinu She'bashamayim -
we have no one to rely on other
than our Father in Heaven".
For at that point, the vessel is
complete and the light of Hashem
will flood the world.
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271. |
Replacing the Bad with Good
As
I require Internet access for my
line of work, I had fallen into
harmful patterns of not only
inappropriate viewing, but also
secular media and culture exposure.
My rationalization for this was that
I needed "something" to distract me
from the travails and troubles of
life. My method of relieving stress
was to waste time on the Internet
and specifically to watch movies.
Weekends were generally the worst
and I would tell my wife that I had
work to do and would stay up until
all hours of the night browsing the
web, watching video clips and
movies. For a long stretch of time,
I was slipping virtually every
weekend.
I
knew that I needed to do something
to break my dependence on the
secular media, so close to 2 months
ago I made a conscious decision to
give up secular media almost
completely. I resolved that over
Sukkos I would strengthen myself in
Torah and
be'ezras Hashem,
break my dependence on the
media. Over Sukkos, I decided to
take the Mesechta that I was
learning the previously (I did not
know Gemara well at all and was not
really
"Koveah Itim"
properly) and really put in time. As
a result of this commitment, I was
able to spend most of the Yom Tov
learning, and I had committed to
myself to keep it going after the
Yom Tov as well.
Following Yom Tov, I had a few minor
slips when I was feeling down or
frustrated. To my surprise however,
I had little desire to listen to the
radio, watch movies or follow
sports, and was able to get back
into my learning relatively quickly.
Baruch Hashem, I have found a new
ta'am
(taste) in my learning and I now
turn to the Gemara instead of the
Internet when I am bothered or
frustrated. I no longer go online
Saturday nights, but rather learn
instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy indeed is he who finds
ta'am in Torah to replace the
empty and filthy time-wasting
behaviors that the Yetzer Hara tries
to convince us that we need! And
what greater Teshuvah can their be
than to replace sinful
ta'anugim with
"Vihisaneg
al Hashem"! (See our
Kosher Isle for more ideas on
how to replace the bad with good).
For more posts by members on the
dangers of secular media, check out
Chizuk e-mail #323 on this
page (scroll down).
For those who must have open
internet for their work, we highly
suggest Accountability Software. See
here for a few options.
GuardYourEyes now has a special
"filter
Gabai". You can reach him at filter.gye@gmail.com.
Please follow the instructions on this
page. (See also the comments at
the bottom). The filter
Gabai can save your password
for you, as well as help you
whenever you need to make any
adjustments or changes to the
filter.
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272. |
Sur Mera - Through -
Aseh Tov
It feels like sometimes the effort
to to avoid tumah, pritzus, etc..
itself seems to cause one to think
about the very thing that they are
trying to avoid. Am I wrong? Perhaps
just by getting busy doing something
else it will enable some people to
have more success. It's like the way
one thinks of food on a fast day.
Some people think about food more on
a fast day than other days, even if
the other days they might end up
fasting accidentally. The very
thought of it being a fast day can
cause one to think of food. Am I
making sense? So what is a good
solution? Anyone have any ideas?
Elya answers:
You raise some very good questions.
There is an axiom which says,
"What we resist, persists."
The more effort you spend pushing
away every obstacle and constantly
thinking about how to avoid it, the
more you will think about it and
eventually sin.
That's why the trick is to accept
the fact that there is
Pritzus in the world and that
you have no power over controlling
it. Hashem took away the
Yetzer Horoh for Idol Worship
but not for this. (If he did, none
of us would have been born!)
It's a good idea to read self- improvement
books instead of thinking so much
about how to avoid self- destruction.
Books by Rabbi Twersky like "Self
Improvement? I'm Jewish" is a
good one.
You are right. Finding other things
to occupy your time when you're
bored, tired, hungry or upset is
another key to staying pure. Pamper
yourself with things which are
permitted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In continuation of Elya's
answer:
The Pasuk says
"Sur Mera, Va'asei Tov -
Stay away from bad and do good".
The Chassidic Sefarim say to read it
differently.
"Sur Mera" -
HOW?
Through
"Va'asei Tov".
In other words, instead of focusing
on "Sur
Mera", focus on "Asei
Tov". Focus on learning to
flow with
life - not fight
against it. Become a better
person each day, and before you know
it, the "Ra" will
disappear on its own.
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273. |
Light Can Only Come Through
Darkness
The Zohar in Parshas
Tetzava brings an encounter
between R' Shimon Bar Yochai and a
old Holy Jew who came out of the
dessert. R' Shimon asked him why he
had been in the dessert and he
replied that he dwells there the
whole year round and learns Torah.
He explained that he does this
because the dessert belongs to the
Sitrah Achrah and by serving
Hashem there, he is subjugating the
"other" side. The old man goes on to
say how the Torah can only settle in
the dessert (perhaps the dessert is
a parable for true humility, as
Chazal teach us) for the
following reason:
A
Translation of the Zohar:
For there is no light other than
that which comes out of darkness.
And when the "other side"
is subjugated, the Master of the
World is elevated and his honor is
increased.
And avodas Hashem can only be
through darkness, and there can be
no good, only though bad. And when a
person goes into a bad path and then
leaves it, the Master of the World's
honor is elevated. And therefore,
the "Shleimus" (completion) of
everything, is good and bad
together - to then leave to
the (side of) good.
And there can be no good but that
which comes through bad, and from
such good, Hashem is elevated. And
this is called an "avodah shleimah"
(a
complete service of Hashem).
So if we struggle - or we've
struggled in the past - in the area
of purity, and now we are striving
to be
Mitchazek and guard ourselves
in holiness,
this is the true
Shleimus of
Avodas Hashem!
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274. |
After A Slip
Some great posts
on
our forum from the warriors
of GYE
Posted by "Battleworn":
One of the great tzadikim rendered
the pasuk
"Velo sosuru acharei levavchem
ve'acharei eineichem -
do not stray after your hearts and
eyes" as follows: Don't untie
your
kesher with Hashem after
(acharei) you went after your
eyes and after your heart. The
greatest
nachas ruach for Hashem is
when we keep fighting even after we
had a slip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by "MosheW":
I heard an amazing insight on
life from the Rebbe of Karlin
(d.1772) which gave me a lot of chizuk,
I hope that you will be inspired
as well. The Rebbe once
commented while observing people
dancing. The steps of a dance,
the Rebbe noted, are such that
the person goes up and down,
over and over again. Each time
the dancer goes up, he comes
down soon after. Yet he will
continue to proceed with the
upwards motions and movements,
knowing full well that he will
come back down. The Rebbe asked,
"why? why bother jumping up if
you are going to come right back
down?" The Rebbe
answered: because to move up you
have to fall down!!! The way
someone climes the ladder of kedusha is
by falling a rung every few
rungs on the way up. The Rebbe
then added, that a person has to
always
use his falls to continue
climbing up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Inspiring Music can be very
helpful in chasing away the
Yetzer Hara.
Click here
to hear a Soulful "Meiron"
Niggun played by Clarinet. While
listening to it, picture the
flames and sparks of Rabbi
Shimon's holy fire in Meiron
heading skyward, and all the
holy Yidden dancing with all
their strength and love for
Hashem.
That fire you see in your
imagination is
your soul's yearning for
d'veikus with Hashem!
Put on the niggun, close your
eyes and FEEL IT.
Try dancing a Chassidic dance,
as described by the Rebbe of
Karlin (see above :-)
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275. |
Some great posts on
our forum from the warriors of GYE
Posted
by "Bochur28":
One idea that helps me guard my eyes is
what the Ibn Ezra says on the
mitzvah of
"Lo sachmod
- do not
covet". He asks, how can the
Torah command us to not covet? It's not
really in our control and it's so easy
to stumble in, so how can it be a
mitzvah? The answer is - says the
Ibn Ezra - that just as a pauper
knows that it's not shayach for
him to marry a princess and hence he
does not desire her, so too, each one of
us must not desire things that the
Ribono shel Olam has not given us,
since it's not shayach to us.
And we should know that if we in fact
had them, it would not be good for us
anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by "Ano-nymous":
Whenever a bad thought comes to me, I
think of an image of a beautiful
waterfall, and the bad images leave
immediately. I'm working on not staring
in the streets. A couple times I had to
literally tear my head away. This is so
hard sometimes that it hurts me to do
it. But the Yetzer Hara tricks you by
getting you to look into the future. He
says "look how much you enjoy this!
How are you going to go without this for
such a long time?". He used this to
keep me from seriously trying to stop
for years, but now I just look at
today. I also look
backwards and see how far I've come. But
I try not to look ahead. Trying to
imagine how hard it will be in the
future is like looking down from atop a
tightrope. You will fall and severely
hurt yourself. So, DON'T LOOK DOWN!
Just look at today.
As we say in Kriyas Shema twice a day:
"Asher Anochi
Metzavecha Hayom
- which I
have commanded you today!"
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276. |
Turn the Fire of Desire into a Fire of
Holiness
Some great posts on
our forum from "Be-Holy":
May Hashem fill all of our hearts with
love. I went to
Karlin
Stolin this Shabbos morning for
davening. They don't sing but they shout
the
pesukei d'zimra. It was amazing,
I was almost sweating -
"nishmas
kol chai" was so real! We are
like angels people. If we
believe we can do it, we will. R'
Zvi Meir says that the problem today is
that nobody has any goals anymore!! This
website helps up reach our goals. A
friend told me a good saying:
"A non-Jew hopes, a Jew
believes!". Believe that
Hashem wants to test us only in order to
reward us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel Hashem is testing me from all
sides, but if we do not work to get holy
eyes, how will we ever see
Kedusha?
Like we daven every day,
"v'sechazena
eneinu" our eyes will see
Hashem's return to
Tzion,
but will impure eyes see??? No they
won't- but a promise from Rebbe Zvi Meir
is that if someone is working on an
avodah
now - even if they have not obtained it
yet - when Moshiach comes they will
merit to complete that
avodah.
Let us all bring ourselves together - we
must daven for each other. Let's thank
Hashem for everything he gives us - the
miracles of health, wife, children,
etc... then we can thank Hashem and ask
that we be able to serve him
wholeheartedly. He
will listen!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be strong! We must believe we are being
tested. We have energy but it was
misused.. Do not fall at the first
hurdle!! Keep going - Hashem has great
things in store for this generation,
that's why the
Yetzer
Hara is on high alert. Imagine
you are the battle chief, talk to your
generals and commanders. Look them in
the eye and say "we are headed for hard
times but there is light at the end of
the tunnel". Explain to them the reward
and satisfaction they will receive when
we get to the other side. I really mean
this. Do it during davening. Speak to
yourself, but let Hashem listen. He is
the King and you are his general. All
the powers of the world are at your
command, they really are. Look yourself
in the mirror for two minutes and tell
your eyes and soul "we will not sin
today".
In
avodas Hashem, all we need to do
is want and try and Hashem opens the
heavens.
Be'ezras Hashem, I will take that
fire of desire that is in me and give it
to Hashem. Today my love and loneliness
go to Hashem.
Daven with the fire - learn with fire,
greet and treat everyone with fire. This
will change the
"Aish"
of the
ruach tumah to an
"Aish"
of
ruach tehara - be"h. WE WILL
SUCCEED!!! Chaunka is coming- let's get
ready,
starting today.
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277. |
The
Messiras Nefesh of a Simple Jew
Below is a part of a story taken from
the Hamodia (of July 17, 2008) about one
Iranian Jew's
messiras nefesh for
Mitzvos.
This story is not from many years ago,
nor is it from some super-man or
Gadol.
It's just the
Messiras Nefesh of a simple Jew
in our day and age.
Does our
Messiras Nefesh of saying "no" to
desires which are anyway bad for us
compare to the
Messiras Nefesh of this man? How
fortunate are we that Hashem has given
us an opportunity to show him at least
something, each time we turn our
hearts away from the false and fleeting
pleasures of this world for His sake!
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278. |
Some Tips From a Bochur - a
Ba'al
Teshuvah
Here are some other tips that help
me:
- Thinking of my Hebrew name
- Thinking of my Rebbe standing right
next to me
- Thinking that by resisting, I'm saving
my children from being tempted with this
problem
(maysah avos, siman lebanim).
- Thinking that flesh is the same as the
chicken I ate last night for supper, and
that it's just a bunch of chemicals that
G-d put together in seamless fashion to
protect our bodies, not to hurt our
souls.
- Thinking about
olam
haba, and how the
"kav
hayashar" says that your limbs in
the next world are affected by what you
do here. So if we look at bad things,
perhaps our eyes will be gauged out, and
we will walk around with them hanging
from their sockets.
- Thinking about the damage it does to
my
avodas hashem and my learning.
- Knowing that Torah and
Taiva
are enemies; one forces the other out,
and they cannot coexist.
- Knowing that when Moshiach comes, or
when, after 120 years, I stand before
Hashem in Din, there will be no excuses
- Thinking that a
tzelem
Elokim, a piece of G-d himself,
cannot be submerged in
tumah
- the
Tzelem Elokim leaves when the
tumah
comes in.
- Thinking of the
'ohr
haganuz', the hidden light for
people who control themselves, that is
promised in
olam
haba.
- Having the privilege and
zchus
to be among those of
klal
yisroel who are fighting the good
fight for
kedushah.
- Thinking of what the
"kav
hayashar" that says, that when
you look at a girl, she robs you of your
kochos;
I need my
kochos
for learning and davening; I'm tired
enough as it is in
shiur,
I can't afford to give up any more
kochos!
- Two words: Yosef
HaTzadik
- Imagining what they're saying in
shomayim, besha'as mayseh, and
imagine what they say if we try hard not
to slip!
- Sheva
pa'amim yipol tzadik, vekam - the
letter from Rav Hutner about this helped
me incredibly, imagining that I've
fallen so many times, again and again,
even when I was trying, and yet, I can
still be a tzadik, there's always still
hope! And it is davka because
of the past falling that when I rise, I
will rise all the higher!
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279. |
Teshuvah in 6 Chapters
Our
Yetzer Hara tells us that we
can do Teshuva by passing by places
we used to go, just to say we passed
by and didn't look again, or didn't
meet that person again. But this is
a setup, because when you do it
enough times, you will go back to
it.
It's
like this story in 6 chapters:
Chapter 1: I walk down the street, I
see a hole, I fall in.
Chapter 2: I walk down the street, I
see a hole, I fall in, I get up.
Chapter 3: I walk down the street, I
see a hole, I walk around it.
Chapter 4: I walk down the street, I
see a hole, I cross to the other
side.
Chapter 5: I walk down the other
side of the street
Chapter 6: I walk down a different
street.
This is the story of Teshuvah...
setting boundaries, falling
sometimes, getting back up, learning
from the falls and yet you keep
going!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rabbi Miller was once in the
hospital and asked for a male
nurse. The doctors said to
him "but you're an old man
already!". "Yes", replied Rabbi
Miller, "but I don't want to
become young again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teshuvah Now
Chazal Say,
"Repent a day before you die". Since
we don't know if we will be
alive tomorrow, we must always
repent TODAY. Like the saying
goes:
"Live each day as if it was
your last. One day, you will
be right".
Think about how you would
live your day, if you knew
today was your last c"v.
PRIMEVAL DESTINY
Out of the morning mist
While pearled dew still
kisses earth
Tiptoes a silent Destiny
Day's mission engraved in
tears
Printed on parchment
created
Before time itself.
The "who", the "when", the
"how"
- And always the "why" -
As yet undisclosed to those
below
For Hashem wisely conceals
The date of demise from
mankind.
Return your soul pure.
Each night.
In case.
Perhaps you will not witness
Dawn's kaleidoscope of
brilliant hues
From beneath the clouds
Or hear the bird's joyful
melodies
Mingle with the angels
Praising the Creator of new
sunrises.
Make your last moments on
earth
Your holiest.
Daily
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280. |
Simcha!
(Part 1)
Staying happy, upbeat and positive is
one of the biggest keys to success in
overcoming the Yetzer Hara. For an
injection of SIMCHA,
click here to download a Leibidik
niggun collection called
"Shirei
Ho'Admorim". Put it on and start
to dance!
No matter what, we can always start
again from TODAY. We need to be PROUD of
our past accomplishments. We need to be
HAPPY that we are doing the work of the
King of Kings and are
ZOCHE
to struggle in this, where most other
people in our generation and situation
just don't care. We are from Hashem's
elite soldiers! And every time we turn
away is priceless.
Let's rejoice that Hashem has chosen us
for his front line battle against the
Yetzer Hara. If he chose us, it means he
TRUSTS us. He knows that in spite of our
slips, we will emerge victorious. He
waits and waits for us to succeed in a
complete Teshuvah, sometimes for many
years. But in the end it is all worth
it, for in the process we learn how to
give our hearts to Hashem and grow so
much!
Did you ever stop and think of the
implications of us, mere mortals, having
the honor of serving the Master of the
entire Universe? The universe has about
100 billion galaxies, and each galaxy
has in it about 100 billion stars! And
each star is as big - or bigger - than
our Sun (which itself could fit a
million Earths into it)! And that's just
the physical universe. Need I even
mention the millions of spiritual words,
Malachim, Serafim and
Chayos
Hakodesh?!! And this Almighty G-d
- who created ALL THIS, has but one
desire. He is looking into the hearts of
his beloved people, and seeking someone,
anyone, who is willing to do something
for him with pure motives, hard work,
and a little
messiras nefesh. And
he has chosen YOU!
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281. |
Simcha!
(Part 2)
Keep in mind that when Hashem invested
in you, He knew what he was doing. He
knows exactly who to choose for the very
sensitive and dangerous mission, of
penetrating the enemy's territory. If
he chose you, then you can definitely
succeed. And remember, it's a tremendous
honor to have been chosen by Hashem for
this mission. R' Tvi Meir always says:
Chazal tell us, that the malachim said
to Hashem "Don't give the Torah to lowly
people, "T'na
Hodcha al Hashamayim --
The Torah should be for the malachim".
So Hashem answered "Do you have a
yetzer
hara? If not, the Torah is not
for you, but rather for the people that
have a y"h. So we see that our entire
claim to the greatest gift of all - the
holy Torah, is based on the fact that we
have a y'h. And so it follows, that
whoever has a bigger y'h has a greater
claim and a greater right to the holy
Torah!!!
REJOICE! We are the ones that will bring
Moshiach!
Simcha and a positive attitude are the
key to success. Rabeinu Yona says in
Yesod Hateshuva,
"On
that day [that you make up your mind to
do teshuva], throw away your past and
consider yourself like a baby that was
just born"
Take some time to think about how
important you obviously are in the eyes
of the Master Of The Universe, if he
chose you for this mission. And then put
on some good music and DANCE!!!
Transform yourself from a "worrier" in
to a "warrior!!!" (the spelling is very
close, like the little difference
between the letters of the words "chametz"
and "matzah").
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Me"
posted to someone once on the forum
:
The main advice I have for you is: "Simchah".
You mentioned that you are full of
anxiety, and this is one of the major
causes of this
taivah.
In fact I saw it written, that the first
thing the yetzer does with us is to fill
our minds with worries and anxieties,
and then when we feel sad, etc, this is
what allows the
klipot
of
arios
to cling to us and over take our minds.
I believe that your first step is to
conquer your anxieties, and try to be
b'simchah as much as possible,
and remove every and any anxiety causing
thought that enters your mind.
The Baal Shomer Emunim said, that we
have a mitzvah of "Ivdu
Es Hashem B'Simchah". Then the
yetzer comes in to our minds and says,
"what do you have to be happy about?
Just look around you, look at all of the
sickness, poverty, suffering in the
worlds etc... But, we must know that
this is the yetzer telling us this. He
goes on to explain. "Who taught us "Ivdu
Es Hashem B'Simchah"?....
None other than Rav Shimon Bar Yochai in
the Zohar. And he says, "If anyone had
reason to be down and sad,
he did,
since he lived right after the time of
the Churban Beis Hamikdash. And yet, it
was HIM that taught this to us!
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282. |
Chizuk
from the Warriors
"Battleworn" posted once on
the forum
to someone who was having a hard
time guarding his eyes, who claimed
that focusing on guarding his eyes
made it even
harder
for him:
1) Your life's focus must always be on
the positive. You absolutely can't go
around the whole day concentrating on
what you're not
going to do. Someone who does that is
simply not living, and of-course it
can't work. The first thing is to make
sure you know what you are trying
to do with your life, and then you can
concentrate on accomplishing that goal
and really starting to live. When you
think of guarding your eyes as a
means
of getting where you want to in life,
you won't have that problem. It's tested
and proven.
2) R' Avigdor Miller zt'l said that
shmiras
einayim is pointless if you are
not also guarding your thoughts.
3) The mind set has to be that it's all
a bunch of nothing and stupidity. Not
guarding your eyes allows the
menuval
to get in and make something out of
nothing. But if you continue to think
"It's
paradise out there but I'm not looking"
then you're doomed to failure.
(See the next "vort" from Rav Dessler on
this idea).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Shomer"
once posted on the forum:
I just wanted to share something I saw
in the
Michtav M'Eliyahu from Rabbi
Dessler z"l.
Chazal tell us that "im
puga buch menuval ze, mashcheyhu l'bais
medresh -
If you encounter this 'mevuval', drag
him to the bais medresh". Rabbi
Dessler is
medayak
in the
lashon of this statement and asks
... why does it say if you encounter
this
'menuval -
pervert'? It should say if you
encounter the yetzer
hara, drag him to the
bais
medresh?
Rabbi Dessler goes on to explain that in
order to fight the
yetzer
hara, you must
first
realize that he is a
'menuval'.
Rabbi Dessler elaborates that the yetzer
is "oseh
meseh nivlus -
performs actions of perversion".
He promises a person that he will bring
them satisfaction and contentment, but
he leaves them only with sorrow and
despair. There is no bigger perversion
than that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Putting Our Minds to It
Never let the
Yetzer
Hara convince you that this
struggle is too hard for you, or that
Hashem didn't give you the strength, the
tools or the nature to be able to
overcome this. Human beings are capable
of the most amazing things when they put
their minds to it. For a strong example
of this, copy and past the following
into your browser's address bar, and
press ENTER to play the clip:
mms://media.a7.org/a7radio/misc/video/08/tov/regel.wmv
(By the way, it's not a Chr-stian
song, see here).
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283. |
Someone sent me a nice article from
www.jewishworldreview.com By Rabbi
Zelig Pliskin. The philosophy behind
this idea can help us in our struggle
with the Yetzer Hara.
Five
Powerful Words: 'What Can I Do Now?'
Develop the habit of asking
yourself, "What can I do now?"
This is an antidote to two problematic
patterns: wasting a lot of time being
upset about things that are over and
done with, and worrying about something
that might happen in the future. Even if
it seems that an undesirable outcome is
likely, worrying just prevents you from
doing what you can to improve the
situation.
If something is over and done with, it
is over and done no matter how much time
you waste being upset. But if you're
going to be upset, at least be upset
about it for only a short amount of
time. Then ask yourself, "What can I do
now?" If your first thought is that you
can't do anything about the situation,
then at least do something constructive
about something else. But sometimes you
might think of something creative that
will turn the situation around.
Having the thought of, "What can I do
now?" on your mind might lead to ideas
that will at least partially solve the
problem. When you can't think of
anything on your own, ask some friends
or a mentor for suggestions. Other
people might think of something that you
didn't.
People with a pattern of thinking
worrisome thoughts should think of
practical things that can be done. This
will save them from much distress.
Just taking action makes you feel
better. When you feel better, you will
think more clearly. You're more likely
to think of something to do now that you
hadn't thought of when your mind was
focused on worrying. So remember to keep
asking yourself, "What can I do now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This
state of mind can be hard sometimes, but
it is vital to our ultimate success.
Don't dwell on past failures - even if
it was a moment ago, and don't let
yourself worry about future tests.
Always live in the present moment and
ask yourself: "what can I do NOW to
make Hashem happy and to move in the
right direction?
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284. |
New In Your Eyes
The Beis Ahron of Karlin writes that
Torah and Mitzvos need to feel fresh and
new in our eyes every day. So he asks,
how can we instill this in our hearts?
Answers the Beis Ahron, we can learn a
Kal
Ve'Chocher from the
Yetzer
Hara himself. The
Yetzer
Hara tempts a person to sin and
he listens to him and falls. But after
the person sins, he becomes disgusted
with the desire (and resolves never to
fall again). And yet the very next day,
the
Yetzer Hara tempts him once again
with this same desire and he renews the
desire in his heart, R"L, just like
before. So
how much more so, the Torah and Mitzvos,
which are the life source of all the
worlds and a person's very life - should
feel new to a person every day!
Here's the original text:
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285. |
A Tip From A Warrior
I'll tell you something that I have been
doing for a while and it seems to be
working and may work for others.
Every time I find myself looking at a
woman for more time than I should, or if
I find myself taking a second glance, I
give myself a big pinch (yes, it hurts).
I know it sounds weird, but it serves a
dual purpose: (1) It reminds me to be
more careful next time, as I don't want
another pinch. (2) It punishes me down
here on Earth, so that it will hopefully
not need to be punished in the next
world, which is much worse. As the
Sefarim point out, one who gets
punishment down here doesn't get
punished again for that
aveira
in the next world ( "K'sheyesh
din limata, ein din limalah -
when their is judgement below, there is
no judgement above").
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Using Laziness Properly
Every Midah (attribute) that Hashem
created, can be used for either good
or bad. How can the attribute of
"laziness" be used for good? Well,
one powerful way to fight the Yetzer
Hara is simply to be LAZY about
sinning. When the Yetzer Hara wants
us to sin, we can say:
"heck, I don't have strength for
this!".
"Shev Ve'al Taseh Adif -
sitting and doing nothing is better". That's using
laziness in the RIGHT way.
The Medrash Yalkut Shemoni ( click
here) writes:
"Who ever turns himself away from aveira (sin),
then even if he is a Israelite, he
is worthy of bringing a sacrifice on
the alter like the Kohen Gadol"... "And
who ever is lazy
to sin and doesn't sin, he merits to
enjoy the shine of the Shechina like
the ministering angels".
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286. |
Parshas Vayetzeh
"And Yaakov Kissed Rachel"
The Holy Sefer, Noam Elimelech from Rav
Elimelech of Lizensk writes that Yaakov
Avinu's attribute was that of
Tiferes,
meaning "Awesome Beauty". This implies
that Yaakov Avinu had the ability to be
awestruck by G-dly beauty in all he saw.
For example, the Noam Elimelech
continues,
"When a
person eats a tasty food, he should say
to himself, 'if this food is so good in
taste, is it not obvious that all the
good and pleasantness is to be found in
the Creator--may his name be
blessed--without any limit or
boundary!'...'and this is the secret of
the Pasuk "and Yaakov kissed Rachel".
How uplifting and beautiful it is to try
to apply this midah of Yaakov Avinu to
ourselves. Whenever we see something
that turns our hearts to desire, we need
to tell ourselves, "If I desire this so
much, how much more beautiful it must be
to connect with G-d, who is the infinite
source of all beauty, pleasantness and
pleasure!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this week's sedra (Vayeitsei)
when Lavan catches up with Jacob he
complains that Yaakov sneaked away
from him, and he says that had
Yaakov told him he was leaving, he (Lavan)
would have sent him off with music.
The question is, what was bothering
Lavan so much about Jacob's going
without the music?
The answer is, Lavan wanted to play his type
of music so that Jacob's mind and
those of his children would be
infested with it. Once a Yid has Goiyishe
music in his head, no Torah can come
in.
(In contrast, I heard once that the
Skulene rebbe
shlit"a recommends to people
who suffer from depression to listen
to his father's songs).
I had a surge of desire lately, and
I was wondering why. Then I realized
that I had listened that day to
music with female voices in the
background.
See our
music page for inspiring
music clips to chase away the
Yetzer Hara!
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287. |
Someone sent us this cute "number
Cheshbon" below, based on the ABC.
Although obviously this is not a "Gematria"
with any real meaning, the lesson it
brings out is a powerful
truth.
(Pictures from the war in Gaza last year
were added for illustrative purposes).
If you can't see the picture below, click
here
Pass this on to your friends!
Knowledge of HOW to
beat the Yetzer Hara
is 96% of winning the
battle. It can be found
on our website, forum and
Chizuk list archives.
Download also the book
called " Windows
to the Soul".
Hard Work is 98%, and
it must be done by each
individual alone.
ATTITUDE equals 100% and
is what will really get you
there! This
includes; enjoying the
challenge, understanding
that this is what we are
here in this world for and
the great reward that awaits
us, and NEVER GIVING UP.
(See the
Attitude Handbook for
more).
But it is the Love
of Hashem that
equals 101% and will really
take us OVER THE TOP. Happy
is he who learns to transfer
his deepest desires and love
to Hashem. In the process of
the struggle towards this
sublime achievement, one
becomes transformed into an
altogether different person!
Chaza"l say
(Lehavdil): "One who
reviews his learning 100
times can not be compared
with one who reviews it 101
times".
In this battle for our
souls, we need to give it
101%!
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288. |
There's
a fundamental and elementary piece from
the holy Ohr Hachayim that gives a clear
perspective on the powerful nature of
these desires, and helps us understand
how Hashem expects us to remain holy in
spite of it being against human nature.
I would like to bring this Ohr Hachayim
now in a few stages. To see the original
text in Hebrew,
click here (the important parts are
marked in yellow, and the VERY important
parts in red).
Ohr
Hachayim (Acharei Mos, 18:2)
Part
1
It is known that all the Mitzvos that
Hashem commanded his holy nation are
Mitzvos that a man can stand by and
cause himself a desire to do, besides
for the Mitzva of staying away from
arayos
(illicit relations) which is something
that a person craves and his desires
forces him to act, unless one makes an
effort to stay far away from two things:
(1) Seeing with the eyes, (2) Thinking
about it. However, if a person does not
keep away from these two aspects (sight
and thought), a man will not be able to
control himself and rid himself of it.
As long as one does not stay away from
looking,
even if he stays away from thinking
about it, he will not be able to control
himself and rid himself of the
inevitable desire. As we can see from
the story of R' Amram, the Rebbe of all
Chassidim (Kidushin 81a), that even
though he was far from thinking about
these things, he was won over by the
aspect of "sight" (to see the full
story, see Chizuk e-mail #275 on
this page). And we can also see this
from the story of Reb Masya Ben Charash
(Yalkut Shimoni; Veyechi) who chose to
blind himself when he felt that he would
be forced to come to bad deeds through
the sight of his eyes, even though he
was surely far from thinking of these
things - as is clear in the story (see
the story in Chizuk e-mail #46 on
this page).
And if one does not distance himself
from thinking about these things, his
thoughts will also force him to seek out
and lust after the deed. As we can see
from the story in the Gemara (Avodah
Zara 22b) of the non-Jew who bought a
thigh of meat in the market place, cut
into it, used it to pleasure himself,
and then cooked it and ate it. This
comes from being steeped in the aspect
of "thought" which forced him to do
these deeds even without seeing
anything.
So we see, that with either of these two
aspects, sight or thought, it becomes
close to impossible for a person to
control himself in this area. And it
goes without saying that if one looks
AND thinks about these things, he will
be very weak when facing this desire.
And it
also goes without saying, that if
one actually begins to taste from the
bad, he will be completely given over
into the hands of his desires.
(To be
continued in the coming e-mails, IY"H).
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289. |
We
continue below the insightful piece from
the holy Ohr Hachayim that we started in
the previous e-mail. The Ohr hachayim
explains the powerful nature of these
desires and helps us understand how Hashem
expects us to remain holy in spite of it
being against human nature. To see the
original text in Hebrew,
click here (the important parts are
marked in yellow, and the VERY important
parts in red).
Ohr
Hachayim (Acharei Mos, 18:2)
Part
2
And the only way that a man can wage war
with this powerful desire is by removing
from himself these two aspects (1.
improper sights and 2. lustful
thoughts). And by doing this, one
instills within himself that he should
not lust after this, and he will be able
to control his natural desires. And this
is the reason that Chaza"l say (Brachos
34b) "In
the place that Balei Teshuvah stand,
even the completely righteous cannot
stand". For the natural good will
of the completely righteous wins over
their desires without great effort,
which is not the case with a Ba'al
Teshuvah.
And if one should ask, "How can a
natural person be in control of his
desires which "force" him to act? After
all, it does not make sense that Hashem
would obligate all men equally to guard
themselves in this area, only people who
can stand up and have the will power to
deny this desire! And these are people
who never came into the tests of seeing
improper sights and thinking lustful
thoughts. Only for such people did the
Torah command these Mitzvos. But for
people who already fell into these
things, it is naturally impossible for a
man to control himself and hold back
from this craving that forces him to
act!"
To counter this claim, Hashem wrote in
the Torah with pleasant words of life,
and the Parsha of Arayos starts
out with the words "Speak
to the Children of Israel and say to
them, I am Hashem your G-d". For
it is true that in the human race,
besides for the Jewish people, they can
claim this complaint and say that they
did not find it in their strength to
deny the power of this intense desire
from themselves. However, with you, the
Children of Israel, because I am Hashem
your G-d - that is, you can achieve
understanding and awareness of G-d - and
through this G-dly strength, you will
win over the natural physical drives.
(To be
continued in the coming e-mail, IY"H).
The Ohr Hachayim has touched here on the
"core" of
the 12-Step program, which is that
without bringing G-d into the picture,
we are powerless to overcome this
powerful desire.
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290. |
Today
we finish the translations of the
insightful piece from the holy Ohr
Hachayim that we brought in the previous
two e-mails. The Ohr hachayim explains
the powerful nature of these desires and
helps us understand how Hashem expects
us to remain holy in spite of it being
against human nature. To see the
original text in Hebrew,
click here (the important parts are
marked in yellow, and the VERY important
parts in red).
Ohr
Hachayim (Acharei Mos, 18:2)
Part
3
The mind can control the matter. So when
a Jewish person accepts upon himself to
be "one" with Hashem his G-d
(di'veikus),
he will be in control of his nature. As
Chaza"l say, "The
hearts of the Tzadikim are given over in
their hands, but the hearts of Resha'im
control them". The meaning of
this is, that desire and lust are in the
heart of a man, yet his "will power" is
in his mind. And these are the two
levels that the Master of the World has
given man (to work with). And when a
person sees something of a sexual
nature, his heart will crave it, but
this is not the end. The "will power" in
his mind can deny himself the desire and
he will not act upon it, even though he
covets it... And that is the meaning of
the words "For
I am Hashem your G-d" (in the
Parsha of
Arayos).
This means to say, that since Hashem
shines the light of his
Shechinah into the soul of a man,
through this, one has the strength to
win over his desires with his 'will
power'...
To return to what we were saying... The
aspect of thinking about sexual matters
strengthens the desire. And one cannot
win over this desire unless he distances
his mind and thoughts from these things
and does not gaze upon things of this
nature. But should his eyes gaze upon
them, he is in grave danger, like the
story of David Hamelech
A"H,
that when circumstance brought him to
see what he saw, his heart, which had
been empty of desire (as the Pasuk says
"and my
heart is empty inside me") was
aroused and he acted.
And even if one just "begins" to think
about these things, it will cause a
strengthening of his natural desires.
And therefore the wisest of all men,
Shlomo Hamelech A"H, wrote in Mishlei
(1); "My
son, if the sins will persuade you, do
not listen" - meaning, do not
even enter into negotiations with your
Yetzer
Hara, for the longer you think
about it, even in a negative light, the
more the desire is strengthened and will
turn his will towards it.
And this is also why Hashem says; "Tell
them that I am Hashem their G-d",
because (those who guard the Bris) are
on the level that Hashem wants to unify
his great name upon them. For he who
guards his Bris is on a great level.
Indeed,
there is no greater level than this.
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291. |
The Chassidic Sefarim speak about how we
are able to learn true Ahavas Hashem
from Shechem Ben Chamor in this past
week's Parsha. The Torah uses four
different descriptions for Shechem's
infatuation with Dinah, in the following
order:
It is interesting to note that the order
of Shechem's "infatuation" with Dinah
seems to diminish as the Pesukim go on.
At first the Torah uses the Lashon of
Deveikus, which means "one with" and
"Completely Attached to". Then the Torah
uses the word "love", then "desire", and
lastly the word "Chafetz" is used,
meaning simply "wants".
Perhaps in teaching us how to love
Hashem, the Torah is first teaching us
the nature of "false" infatuations so
that we can fulfill the Pasuk "Ohavei
Hashem, Sinu Ra". When it comes
to "Ra" - the fleeting passions of the
Yetzer Hara, the order of intensity
diminishes quickly over time.
But when it comes to love of Hashem, the
order is reversed. The first step is "Chafetz"
where the person "wants" to get closer
to Hashem. And if they "want" enough,
Hashem helps them to find true "Cheishek"
in Avodas Hashem. And that leads to
"Love of Hashem", which ultimately leads
to the highest Madrega - a complete
Deveikus with Hakadosh Baruch Hu - as
the Pasuk says "Ve'davakta
Bo".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rav Yehudah Leib Ashlag - the Ba'al
Hasulam - once said, "What's the
difference between Gashmius (physical
pleasures) and Ruchnius (spiritual
pleasures)? Gashmius everyone wants, but
once you have it, there is no feeling of
fulfillment. Ruchniyus on the other
hand, nobody wants, but when you have
it, there is such a deep feeling of
fulfillment!"
How true this is with the pursuit of
these pleasures. The whole world is
running after it, almost everything in
the media revolves around the "desire"
for it. But you'll seldom, if ever, hear
someone talk about how good he feels
having had it. It's all "want, want
want" with no fulfillment. Spirituality
on the other hand, no one seems to want.
But someone who has it, there's no need
to ask him how enlightened and uplifted
his life feels!
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292. |
Parshas Vayishlach
Milchemes HaYetzer
Posted by "Bardichev" on
the forum
This weeks parsha contains the classic
parsha of
"milchemes
hayetzer".
We find some very very important
"similarities" by Yaakov Avinu to our
own struggle
Yaakov Avinu struggled with
"saro
shel esav" the source of all
evil, the
samech
mem.
When? By night.
What was his situation? He was
"livado -
alone".
Yes, being alone is the Jewish person's
lot in life, we are
"goy
achad ba-aretz".
Yet when it comes to dealing with the
Yetzer Hara, we need to be extra careful
at night, and extra, extra careful when
we are alone.
Night symbolizes a time when our mind is
less clear.
At night we are more vulnerable, but
that is the time we show our true
strength!!!
Yaakov Avinu fought the Yetzer Hara of
night for all of us...
"Ad alos hashacar -
till the crack of dawn", the
generation that will bring Moshiach.
Many seforim speak about the idea that
before Moshiach comes the generation
will have to deal with the Yetzer Hara
of wild desires:
"lust".
As it says,
"viyigah bkaf raglo -
and he touched (hurt) the thigh of his
leg".
This symbolizes the middah of "yesod",
which is damaged in our generation.
Brothers and sisters, we are at the
doorstep of Yemos HaMoshiach!
Let us try, Try, TRY to be true
fighters, like it says in the passuk:
'vayaar ki lo yachol lo -
and he (the Satan) saw that he could not
win him".
May we be zoche to gain strength from
our forefathers and be victorious in our
milchemes hayetzer!!!
Good Shabbos
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293. |
Battle-Communication
from the Warriors on
our Forum
Jack Writes:
We couldn't improve in any area without
resistance to what we are trying to
achieve. It's that push, that brute
force, that makes us stronger.
In martial arts theory, we see an enemy
not as an enemy, but as a chance to
perfect ourselves. So if we get hit, the
response is NOT - "I hate him"- but
rather "why couldn't I block it? Could
you please throw that punch again - I
want to see if I can block it this
time". Without a
yetzer
hara, life would be meaningless.
Ben Writes:
Remember what Hashem said to Yehoshua
right after Moshe Rabbeinu died.
Yehoshua was about to embark on the
conquest of Eretz Yisrael and Hashem
said to him (among other things):
"Did I not command you, be strong and
have courage, do not fear and do not be
dismayed, for the Lord your God is with
you wherever you go." So how
does this apply to us? We are not
conquering Eretz Yisrael. No, indeed,
but we are striving to conquer our own
"holy land," our own bodies. Our bodies
are "occupied" by the Y"H, which must be
driven out. So be strong and courageous
in your battle with the Y"H, and
remember that this is Hashem's battle!
'Gettinghelp' writes:
Keep building your foundation of
success. Each day of success is one more
solid brick you are using to build a
mansion that is you. A big beautiful
home filled with
shalom
bayis and bracha after bracha.
Each clean day makes me feel that much
closer to my wife and kids, and
therefore closer to Hashem. I think that
all He (Hashem) really wants us to do is
to use our minds and bodies as a means
of getting closer and more in touch with
our true selves, thus enabling a better
and closer relationship with Hashem.
It's so hard and painful at times to
overcome past experiences that influence
us today. But this is the life Hashem
has given us to live, each one special
and tailored, made for us - and
only
us. We have the power within ourselves
to reach levels of
kedusha
we never dreamed we could. Just by being
on GYE, you have already reached a new
level of
kedusha!
'BeHoly'
Writes:
Last night I had a gift of clarity while
walking with a friend. The past was not
there and we were just in the moment.
This is a rarity for me.
Today is like no other, yesterday is
gone, who knows about tomorrow? We are
here today, that is why it is called
"the present" - a gift from Hashem.
We have all done wrong in our lives
(that we thought would bring us
happiness), yet we had no happiness. We
lived in fear and depression, yet we
couldn't get out. We lived in shame and
we saw no end. We yearned for closeness,
but could not focus on what type of
closeness our souls really yearned for.
To everyone reading this... Hashem will
help us. We can gather
strength together and fight our battles
and win this war. But fighting is not
enough, we need Torah and we need
Emunah
that Hashem is with us on the
battlefield and will guide us through
thick and thin.
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294. |
Click here
to download a wonderful Shiur with many
great Yesodos on this struggle from R'
Yisrael Reisman Shlit"a.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The King's Daughter
The Even Ezra (Shemos 20:14)
asks: How could Hakadosh Baruch
Hu command us in the 10
commandments: 'Thou shall not
covet another man's wife'? It
would seem that this is
something out of our control! If
we go in the street and see a
woman, especially if she is
attractive, how can we cause
ourselves not to covet her? It's
against the laws of human nature
- which were designed to bring
about an attraction between a
man and a woman. It would seem
to make a lot more sense if the
Torah simply commanded us not to
actually be with someone else's
wife. At least on our actions we
can try to maintain control. And
yet, the Torah commands us
straight out: 'Thou shall not
covet', which means: Do not even
desire it even in your heart! Is
this at all possible?"
To answer this question the Even
Ezra brings a parable: The king
of the land has a beautiful
daughter, and whoever sees her
is captivated by her beauty. A
simple villager is going along
his way when the princess's
entourage passes him by and he
catches a glimpse of her. Will
he covet her in his heart? Or
would he even seek another woman
of her caliber to be his wife?
The answer is clear: If the
villager is not crazy, it is
clear to him as the mid-day sun
that the King's daughter can
never be his, and he will
therefore not desire her at all.
It's only natural for him to
desire that which he knows he
has some chance of attaining, if
even the smallest.
The Holy Torah is teaching us
here an important lesson in
human nature: The moment we
internalize that something is
not relevant to us whatsoever,
and it will never have a
relevance to us in the future
either, automatically we won't
desire it. But if everything is
an open possibility in our mind,
when we don't differentiate
clearly between what is relevant
to us and what is not, when we
think we could get anything - if
only we tried hard enough to
attain it, then we indeed don't
have a chance that we won't
covet these things in our
hearts.
On a similar note...
One of the brachos that we say
under the Chuppah says as
follows: 'Blessed are you Hashem...
who forbade the non-married to
us, and who permitted the
married to us through Chuppah
and Kiddushin'. It seems that
there is unnecessary repetition
in this blessing. Why isn't it
enough just to say 'who
permitted the married to us
through Chuppah and Kiddushin?' What
is the point of specifying in
the blessing also that which he
forbade to us?"
Perhaps this is because it is
only if we know without any
doubt that all other women in
the world are forbidden to us,
that we can truly connect
properly with the one woman
who is permitted to us.
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295. |
The Two Neighboring Kingdoms
Many years ago there were two
kingdoms that lived side by
side. One was a very poor
kingdom with a large population
of people who struggled to get
through each day. The second
kingdom had far fewer subjects
but it was very rich, and the
people there lived a high life
style and knew no want. For many
years, the two kingdoms lived
together in harmony, in spite of
their vast differences.
One day, the king of the rich
country died and his son rose to
the throne. He was very unlike
his wise and thoughtful father,
and instead was aggressive,
hasty and unrestrained.
One bright day, he decided
without any reason that he would
like to conquer the neighboring
kingdom. He wished to show off
his great strength, without
thinking for a moment about the
destructive consequences that
his actions were likely to
cause. His advisors tried to
talk him out of it, but to no
avail. In a well planned
surprise strike, the young king
managed to invade the territory
of the neighboring kingdom with
his large army.
At first, the people of the poor
kingdom tried to show
resistance. They fought
valiantly with great sacrifice
to protect their homeland. But
when they saw that the enemy had
already succeeded in conquering
significant areas of their
territory on the very first day,
their spirit was broken, and in
a short period of time they
surrendered.
The people of the poor kingdom
thought that perhaps the new
king would share his riches with
them, but they were quickly
disappointed. Over time, he
pillaged even the little that
they had, until the entire
population were left starving
and broken in body and spirit.
When the populace understood
that they were destined to die
of starvation and had nothing
more to lose, they decided -
especially those who lived on
the border with the rich kingdom
- to try a stealth incursion
into the enemy kingdom to search
for food. Under cover of night,
they cut through the fences and
tried to slip inside. But those
who were fortunate enough to be
saved from the guard dog's
vicious teeth, were quickly shot
at by the many soldiers who
manned the border. The few that
managed to survive were caught
by citizens and given over to
the authorities who threw them
into prison. And so, the people
of the poor kingdom were sure
that their fate was sealed. They
sunk into despair and self pity,
and awaited their slow deaths by
starvation.
Suddenly one of the older
advisors of the poor kingdom got
up and said: "My dear people,
instead of sitting and just
waiting for our deaths, let's do
something. We already saw that
the strategy of stealing across
the border doesn't work. Our
only chance of success is if we
unite and work together with
wisdom and judgment. It's no
secret that we outnumber the
enemy by far. Let's use this to
our advantage. We can choose an
area on the border that is the
least guarded and invade there
with our thousands of men, women
and children - men first, and
the women and children behind
us. It needs to be an area that
is the right size for us to be
able to insure that we can keep
complete control over it for the
long term. And then, with the
help of the riches that we'll
find there, we'll be able to
firmly establish our hold on
that territory and get stronger.
When we feel secure enough,
we'll go out and conquer
another area for
ourselves, and establish our
hold there too. And so on and so
forth, until the entire
neighboring kingdom will fall
into our hands like a ripe
fruit.
So the citizens followed his
wise advice, and they succeeded.
They acted with wisdom and
didn't try and conquer the
entire country at once, because
that would have failed
miserably.
The two neighboring kingdoms are
our Yetzer Hara and our Yetzer
Tov...
One bright day, the
Yetzer Hara decides to try and
conquer us with a surprise
attack of arousal and fantasies
- often at a time when we least
expected it, as we were involved
in learning in Yeshiva and were
full of desire to get stronger
and become uplifted in Torah and
Middos.
When the Yetzer succeeded in
making us stumble, instead of
recovering right away and
returning a valiant fight, we
started blaming ourselves that
we let him win, and we sunk into
self-pity and hopelessness. And
this is exactly what let the
Yetzer Hara continue to
overpower us, until we finally
surrendered to him
unconditionally. This is just
like the individuals in the
parable who attempted an
incursion into the enemy's
territory that was bound to fail
from the start.
Instead, we need to act with
wisdom. In place of trying to
conquer the entire territory
right away, we need to try and
conquer for ourselves small
territories, one at a time;
territories that we are sure we
can maintain defense over well.
And then, slowly but surely we
will progress, until we will
succeed in conquering
everything back.
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296. |
I Already Blew It!
(Part 1)
"Battleworn" posted the
following Chizuk on the
forum from
a Shmooze by R' Tzvi Meir
Zilberberg - Shvi'ee Shel Pesach
5759:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Chozeh from Lublin, The Beer
Mayim Chaim, R' Hershele of
Ziditshov, R' Tzadok Hacohen and
other tzadikim all said:
When a person feels
"I blew it already, I messed up
this time", and yet he
still doesn't give up and keeps
trying to salvage what he could
- ignoring the fact that he
already failed (R' Tvi Meir
calls it "Kum
B'palgus Laila - getting
up in middle of the night" in
the words of the
Zohar Hakadosh), then the
Nachas Ruach that he
makes for Hashem is even
greater than when one is
completely successful. And this
is the epitome of Shechina
Ba'tochtonim (bringing
the divine presnece into the
lower world) which we know is
the purpose of creation.
This type of Avodah is the
greatest form of mesirus
nefesh, because it is
completely against human nature,
as there is no short term
satisfaction.
This
yesod is hinted to in
last week's
parsha, Vayishlach. The
Pasuk says "Vayei'avek
ish emo ad alos hashachar - and
the Malach faught with him until
the morning broke". Chazal
say that the
Lashon of "Vayei'avek" comes
to teach us that "He'elu
avak ad kisei hakavod - they
lifted dust until the Throne of
Glory". R' Tzvi Meir
explains that through the
struggle that Yaakov Avinu had
with the "other side", he
uplifted the lowest situations -
the dust of the earth - all the
way to the Kisei
Hakavod!
As a matter of fact, we don't
find any hint in the pasuk that
Yaakov
overpowered the
malach. On the contrary,
the
malach actually
wounded him. But because Yaakov
wouldn't give up even after he
was wounded, the "other side"
was forced to "agree" to bless
him. This is to show us (Maseh
Avos Siman La'banim) that
the
tikun hashalem will
ultimately come through our not
giving up, even in a generation
that is wounded by the
Yetzer Hara! (According
to many
sefarim, the wounding of
Yaakov's thigh symbolizes the
difficult tests of our
generation in the area of
Yesod).
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297. |
I Already Blew It!
(Part 2)
Yosef HaTzadik
Yesterday we discussed that when
a person feels
"I blew it already, I messed up
this time", and yet he
still doesn't give up and keeps
trying to salvage what he could
- ignoring the fact that he
already failed, the
Nachas Ruach that he
makes for Hashem is even
greater than when one is
completely successful.
Perhaps the greatest
illustration of this is with
Yoseph Hatzadik in this week's
Parsha. The Gemara (in Sotah
36b) says that Yoseph actually
came in to Potifar's house to
sin (as Rashi brings). And the
Gemara says that he actually
spilled seed at the time,
thereby losing Ten Shevatim that
were supposed to come from him.
Yet, when after all that, he
still held back from
sinning, he became the great
Yosef Hatzadik (and the
Merkava for
Midas Yesod and one of
the seven
"Roiyim"!).
R' Tzadok and other tzadikim
explain that this is what really constituted
the
nisoyon. The menuval said
to Yoseph: Don't you see that
you already messed everything
up? And don't you realize what a
goner you are? Your brothers,
the
Shevatim, already
paskened that you are
chayav misa, and they
even included the
Shechina Hakidosha in
their
Beis Din. (Even Yitzchak
Avinu who knew where Yoseph is,
didn't tell because Hashem had
been included in the
Shvuah not to reveal it
to Yaakov). Nobody cares about
you any more. You're lost and
cut off from this world and the
next. And now you failed so
badly. Face the facts, it's
over!
But Yoseph Hatzadik said,
"No! I don't care about anything
- not
even about being a Tzadik.
The only thing that concerns me
is: What do I need to do at this
moment? What does my Father in
Heaven want from me right now?"
And it was in that
zechus that he was
zocheh to everything.
That is why he is called Yosef Hatzaddik.
And even
Krias yam suf was in his
zechus, as Chazal say "Hayam
raah vayonos - ma raah? arono
shel Yoseph! - The
sea saw and fled. What did it
see? The coffin of Yosef".
When the sea saw before it a
human being that had completely
defied his nature for the will
of the Almighty, the sea defied
its own nature for the Almighty
too, and split.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by
"Battleworn" from a Shmooze
by R' Tzvi Meir Zilberberg
Shvi'ee Shel Pesach 5759
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298. |
The Super Power of these Little
Lights
The Me'or Einayim and many
other tzadikim discuss the
follwing idea:
The Gemarah says, that we
must light Ner Chanuka:
1. at night
2. on the longest
nights of the year
3. lower than 10
tefachim
4. outside
5. on the left side
6. starting at the end
of the month
All these things represent
darkness, distance and
weakness:
- The night, of course,
represents darkness and
galus.
- Lower than 10 tefachim
is the place where the
gemarah says, the Shechina
never goes.
- "Outside" represents
distance and tumah, and "Reshus
Harabim" is, according to
kabalah, the place of the "sitra
achara".
- "Left" represents
weakness and harshness.
- The end of the month is
when the moon, which
represents Am Yisroel, is
disappearing.
We are told to go davka to
that place and at
that time, and to
light a candle. Not to
banish the darkness, though
that will indeed be the end
result, but just to light a
little candle. The darkness
is still there, and the
candle even burns out. But
tomorrow we'll be back,
ignoring yesterday's seeming
lack of success, and we will
light
two candles...
It is these little lights in
the darkness that will bring
to the world the ultimate
light, like it says -
"B'orcha nireh ohr -
in Your light (G-d) we shall
see light".
And it is these little
lights that Hashem was
referring to when He told
Aharon Hakohen,
"Shelcha le'olam kayum
-
yours will last forever"
- even in the darkest of the
dark there will always be
the little lights. And this
pacified Aharon, because he
knew the
super power of these
little lights.
The GYE network is one of
the great
Neros Chanuka of the
world, and the stronger the
wind blows, the more we will
be
mischazek together!!
All of us on the forum and
on the Chizuk e-mail lists,
are candles lighting up the
darkest night!
Wishing you all a happy (in
the true sense of the word),
powerful, meaningful,
fruitful, successful and
lechtiger Chanuka!
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299. |
The Telescope
For today's Chizuk e-mail, I
would like to share with you
a powerful five minute audio
clip taken from a Shiur by
Rabbi Shafier (www.theshmuz.com).
Click here to
listen to the five minute
clip.
(Or right-click and choose
"Save Target As" to save it
to your computer).
Click here for
the entire Shiur
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300. |
Mesiras Nefesh
Chanukah is all about
Mesiras Nefesh. The
Chashmonayim were
ready to risk their lives
completely for the sanctity
of Klal Yisrael, and for the
Torah and Mitzvos. And it is
only because they were
willing to lay their lives
on the line and give it
their ALL - that they
experienced such open
miracles of
"rabim biyad me'atim"
and
"temaiyim beyad tehorim".
The Yetzer Hara is far
stronger than us. Only
Hashem can win this battle
for us, but He only steps in
with the miracle when we
show Him that we are ready
to give it our ALL. The
moment a person decides in
his mind that no matter how
much it hurts or how bitter
it feels - he will do it
anyway, no matter
what; the moment a person is
willing to suffer whatever
pain it takes to succeed
even if it feels like he is
dying, an
amazing thing happens: The
struggle ceases to be
difficult and it actually
becomes EASY and SWEET!
This is one of the most
profound secrets in Avodas
Hashem and
it applies to any spiritual
feat, including Torah
learning. As the Pasuk says: "Zos
Hatorah Adam Ki Yamus
Ba'Ohel - This
is the Torah of a man who
dies in the tent".
Our Sages learn out from
this that the Torah can only
be acquired properly through
someone who 'kills himself'
over it. As soon as a person
accepts upon himself the
yoke of Torah to the point
where he is ready and
willing to suffer for it to
the point of death; "ZOS
HATORAH - THAT is
the Torah",
and then he merits to feel
the true sweetness of Torah
that by far exceeds any
physical pleasure.
So whether it's Torah
learning or conquering the
Yetzer Hara, in order to
achieve
true freedom and joy
in the divine service
therein, we have to be
willing to even feel a taste
of death and still not give
in. Once we achieve that,
Hashem does an amazing thing
and suddenly the struggle
becomes easy and the person
feels true joy!
This is truly an amazing
secret. Most people don't
know this until they've
achieved it. But this was
revealed to us by the
Tzadikim, and now that we
know it, it should be
much easier for us all to
take that initial leap of
faith of true
Mesiras Nefesh!
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