Q. Please help me. I'm not having trouble with pictures of women.... I'm having trouble with pictures of men. I've joined JONAH as a support group but I still find myself struggling. I feel rejected by HaShem.
A. First of all, you must remain happy at all times. Hashem doesn't reject any of his children. The Beis Ahron of Karlin writes that what Happiness can bring a Jew to--no Mitzvah can, and what depression can bring a Jew to--no Aveira can!
The fact that you have same-sex attraction is not much different in nature than the desires of the rest of us. Most men will find themselves attracted to a pretty woman, even if she is married. This means they are desiring adultery. So it's important to understand that it doesn't matter so much what you are attracted to, what matters is controlling yourself not to act on those desires in a way contrary to G-d's will. There are a few helpful ways to break free of any addiction or non-Kosher habits. The first is to stay as far away from stimulating material as possible. This means getting a fool-proof filter for the internet. Another way is through vows. You can make some vows to keep yourself far from those things that bring you to fall. You may vow to do something hard or painful before you let yourself fall, or vow to suffer pain when you do fall. See Tips numbers 4,5, & 6 on this page. See also "Chizuk-List" #121 on this page. (#117 on that same page may also be helpful). Also the two handbooks we put out can be just as applicable to SSA as they are to SA.
Some more very useful links for people with SSA:
www.jonahweb.org - Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality
www.Narth.com - National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality
Other Links:
A Letter by Reb Ahron Feldman to a Gay Baal Teshuva
Someone posted on the forum: "I once spoke to R' Aharon Felhman about that letter during a Torah U'Mesorah event. He said he was writing it to a specific individual (and actually didn't write it for publishing, but he doesn't regret that it was) - "who now is building klal yisrael across the globe. Whenever I hear his name, I chuckle from happiness".
Articles that can help you:
Religious People write their Opinions and Struggles with SSA
Homosexuality to Heterosexuality: Can the Transition Be Made?
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I also highly suggest going carefully through this site and especially studying the tips section in depth. The struggle you have with SSA is basically the same as the struggles discussed on this site. I'm sure you will find many helpful tips to help learn control and how to cope.
If, however, after reading all the links above, going through all the tips and trying therapy as well, you still find yourself powerless to cope with SSA without going against Hashem's will, you may be a candidate for Decapeptyl Injections. For more about this option, click here (and scroll to the bottom).
Scroll down to the bottom of this page for a dialog with someone on the shots who felt bad that he couldn't fight the Yetzer Hara.
A Frum SSA Therapist in Israel: Gedaliya Rosen - 052 8358615