Some of the things I tell myself to reignite the positive thoughts when in a test are:
Just get through today
Giving in won't remove the pain, in fact it will get a lot worse
If I fall, I'll need to tell my accountability partner, my therapist, and most of all, my wife. She's been very supportive but another confession will really throw her for a loop and add immeasurable pain and distance to our relationship
I asked myself why am I in pain? I still don't know the answer (that's why I'm in therapy) but it made me feel better nonetheless
One of the ideas mentioned on the weekly call this past Tuesday that I thought was great, is that it's ok to let painful feelings just sit there. It's ok to be in pain - it's part of life and it will pass. We addicts are not aware of this. We think we need to find a "fix" for all pain, and that "fix" is to act out. Obviously this type of fix is only temporary and will lead to more pain...which requires another fix...in a vicious downward cycle.